If there is one thing I miss the most about teaching, it would be connecting with students and building relationships. Having the opportunity to make a difference in a child's life by simply letting them know that I KNOW THEM and that I care for them as a person, a learner, and an individual. It is after this kind of relationship has been formed that the real learning was able to take place. I miss the reward that came from seeing a child finally "get" something in their own way. Or when 25 out of my 30 students are lost in their writer's notebooks and let out a sigh of disappointment when I tell them it is time to line up for lunch. I miss knowing that I not only taught to the individual learner but that I connected with them. Taught in a way that doesn't get forgotten.
When I started writing my blog, I found myself not only sharing my most personal and vulnerable reflections and feelings with those of you reading, but I found a reward in being able to truly connect with others out there. I was surprised to discover how much I came to care about so many of you. And it was such a joy to read about your life, comment on your posts and respond to e-mail.
I miss this. I miss having this time to connect. And when I do find the time lately, I'm fitting in a run or telling myself that I MUST get to sleep.
Running, training, writing and connecting with others. These are big on my list. I know that there are seasons in life and that with those seasons come different priorities. I just want to say THANK YOU to all of you that continue to support and encourage me despite the fact that you might rarely hear back from me lately. It isn't for lack of desire or appreciation for you. Your comments always brighten my day and make me feel heard. Thank you. I promise I'll catch up one of these days.
Until then, I promised myself I'd be in bed before 11 since sleep is so crucial right now. I'll leave you with a sentence I wrote (in response to a question someone asked me for an interview of sorts) that made me feel horribly old (good thing I truly believe that age is a state of mind):
"In all sincerity, Brooks shoes are the best I've ever worn in almost twenty years of competitive and noncompetitive running."
What??! How did this happen that I can write a sentence like this and use "in almost twenty years"??! I mean, I still think of myself as 20 something (even though I'm 33). So weird. And I suppose I took several years off in that 20 to not run in races so technically it is more like 15 years. That's better. And that gives me more time for this body to set some big PR's. Right?
Hitting the hay,
Amanda
Hope you slept sound and calm to recharge for yet another busy Amanda day. Don't worry, you need to put yourself in the first place so you can be in the place you want to be and have the energy for the connections and relationships you are building. You are the most important person in the world for yourself, because you have to be with you all the time! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm almost 33, and used a similar "been running for 20 years" statement yesterday. And it was weird. The years are passing too fast...
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how when you get into your 30's you find yourself saying (fairly often) that you've been doing someting for 20+ years... So scary! It's awesome though because (clearly) we are fabulous mature women with a plethora of 20+ years of knowledge (on most subjects) that we can spread to the youth of America. AND we are still young enough to be seriously hip. (I say this a bit tounge and cheek- about myself anyway!)
ReplyDeleteHope you slept well and are fully recharged!
Oh just give it 10 more years and see! ; )
ReplyDeleteYou have so many years left to PR, trust me. You're just now hitting your stride. I have a feeling Boston will be one of them!
I completely understand where you are coming from. You must focus on what matters right now and that training & recovery. I go through periods when I am completely unavailable to the outside world.
ReplyDeleteI am 38 and feeling better about myself phyiscally and mentally. Setting big PRs and I know the best is yet to come..Keep rockin it!
BTW - I saw a 50 yr old at the Olympic Trials Marathon in Houston. I read that she is running faster now than in her 30s. Most awesome, ah!!!
The hardest part of connecting with students is knowing there was nothing you could do to help them with their homelife.
ReplyDeleteI think that everyone understands chica. You have been working so hard the last couple of months and the big day is almost here. Yay! I hope that you are treating yourself right now and I hope that your hubby is surviving your tapering mood swings. :-)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hopefully see you in Eugene at the end of the month.
Hugs!
And then when you're REALLY old, like me, you can say "In the 35 years I've been running....." It feels great to say that, but also sort of sad knowing that the best of my running years are gone. Oh well, trudge forward nevertheless!
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You are still YOUNG! We haven't even hit our prime yet! Can't wait to see you in Boston!
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm OLD like OLD but I still get to say I feel young as a runner I guess!! Oh-yes. MANY MANY PR's in your future!!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a wonderfully sweet encouraging loving person and everyone you've connected with sees this and knows it whether you have time to respond at this point or not!! Gracious of you to send out the thank-you and thankful that you are putting yourself first in this crucial time! FORTUNATELY, all these connections will be there and you will get to celebrate with them in a couple of weeks!!!
Oh, yes, I totally understand the limited time mom thing (and I only have one!)-- and sleep is so important. Rest up! :)
ReplyDeleteYour last bit cracked me up. Every once in a while I'll start a sentence with "well, in 17 years of marriage..." WHAAAT? How can I be old enough to have been married 17 years? I must have been a child bride LOL.
ReplyDeleteJust like a fine wine, baby.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! And 33 (I am going to be 32 in 4 days) is a great age. There is still so much more time ahead to accomplish so many things.
ReplyDeleteHey, you're still a young-un in my book! Wait until your kids are all grown and the big 5-0 is knocking on your door. I admire that you're able to raise your children, train for marathons, and keep up a popular blog. Best of luck in Boston!
ReplyDeleteI used to teach as well and severely miss it some days, especially working closer with students. And I still feel like I'm about 23! PRs are still out there. :-)
ReplyDeleteI use those "20 years ago" phrases a lot and it freaks me out to realize I'm 45! I would re-do my 30's if I could. Start running sooner and keep at it. But since we can't go back, we go forward with some new smarts about how to keep fit.
ReplyDeleteGood luck in Boston. You know we will all be cheering for you all around the country! And in order to be your most awesome, you do have to focus on that training so don't feel bad about missing blog posts.
Well, I tried to comment on my phone yesterday and something happened so I will give this another go... :-) As old as I feel sometimes looking back ("20 years ago...") I am SO happy to be in this stage of my life. Married to my best friend, 4 kids- and done being pregnant! Don't you just love knowing you are in the NEXT phase now? I know I do! Does that make sense at all or does it just sound like I'm rambling?.... Anyway, I'm super excited for you and cannot wait to track you Monday morning. Every time you go over the little tracking bumps on the course just think of all your Runninghood fans out there who love you and who are cheering for you every step of the way! You can do this!!
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