There's something about being really sick that forces you to do some long hard reflection about your life. Something about being in bed for hours and having the beautiful day outside your window, taunting you with sunshine, that leads you to start making crazy big plans for what you're going to do when you feel normal again. And something about not really running for a number of days that gives you just a certain amount of crazy (more than you already had) to make you actually start thinking of following through with these crazy plans.
The truth is, I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for a next chapter. A next big step in life. I'm not sure what form this change will take. Maybe it means just getting a new kitchen table and changing the pictures on my wall. Ha! Or maybe it means having a new goal to work towards. But I think it is bigger than that. For awhile now, I've had a feeling that the next big chapter in my life is about to begin. It is that feeling I got when I met my husband. When I just knew that things were meant to be...that the stars were aligned so-to-speak.
Whatever this change will be, I'm ready for it. And I'm not scared to make changes anymore. The past few years, I've found myself pretty grounded. Resistant to too much change, really. I've stayed close to my comforts and kept things simple. And this has been good for me. After all, I've been a mama to some pretty little ones that have required me to keep things on the simple side. I've been adjusting to the job of stay-at-home-mama. But the kids are getting a little older, it is becoming easier to travel, I'm finding myself with a crazy amount of passionate ideas/inspiration swirling around in this head of mine...and I'm just ready to break this mold that I'm living in and see where life leads. This may or may not involve a big move in the near future. But wouldn't it be exciting if it did? I think so.
As the quote above says:
"The Purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." --Eleanor Roosevelt
Life is so so short. And it is so very easy to get stuck in a rut. Go through the motions. Just settle and be content with what works instead of what makes us feel most alive. We get settled and then fear change because we are naturally creatures of habit. I'm not saying it is always feasible, desirable or even wise to just pick up and run away from our current life and start over. But this quote just confirms the desire within me to always be seeking richness in life. It reminds me to make my days full of experiences that fill me deeply, fuel my passions, and drive me to be the Amanda that I was designed for. And most importantly, to reach out for new experiences without FEAR.
These new experiences could be as simple as signing up for a new race distance, joining a group that involves a passion or interest, traveling to a new place, switching schools, starting a graduate program or going back to school. So many possibilities....EXPERIENCES....just waiting for us. I'm excited to see what happens when I get rid of fear and resistance and just start DOING some of the things I spend my time talking and dreaming about. There are many dreams inside this head of mine and I'm ready to put them into action.
I'm ready for a new adventure. And if it is what I'm thinking it might be....I KNOW it will be an experience I can "taste to the utmost".
What is something you've wanted to do for a long time but have let fear get in the way?
What does this quote above make you think of? How does it speak to you (if at all)?
Amanda
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It sounds like you're hungry. I know that feeling when there's room in your life and an energy to fill it with something. For years I let fear get in the way of travelling. I've wanted to see the world but been afraid of leaving home and family - if I'm away something bad will happen won't it? But a few years back I bit the bullet and went overseas and it was wonderful. More wonderful than I could have believed. And now I want to see more - when I've saved up my pennies.
ReplyDeleteLove this! I felt exactly the same way and The Run Home was born and I could not be happier! So excited for your journey!
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you and your family and I can't wait to hear what your next adventure is. You are right- life is too short. We should all be more adventurous, act on our dreams, and not let anything hold us back.
ReplyDeleteI am excited for you!! I wish I could have captures the look on your face yesterday standing in your driveway, with arm flailing and voice high with excitement. You are such a free spirit, many good things and new adventures to come for you!! Just don't forget about us back here!!xxx
ReplyDeleteOf course not! :) And who knows what this change will be. Maybe it just means moving to another city in Oregon or finally starting that women's running group. :)
DeleteI understand these feelings! I went through this a year ago - when I became a runner. I needed a change, craved a change! I am sensing change again for myself. Not stopping running, but fine-tuning my goals, adding new fitness and adventures in to the mix. I don't know yet either what all will come, but having a sense of upcoming change can be so exciting :-)
ReplyDeleteWow! So many great thoughts here. Looking forward to seeing where you to take them and what it means for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteChange can be exciting and cleansing! And new goals are always exciting and inspiring. I know whatever you do it will be a wonderful adventure and that you will be successful because you will through your whole heart and soul into it. Can't wait to watch! :)
ReplyDeleteGotta admit I'm a BIG FAT SCARDY CAT!!! I like to talk about change but when it comes to actually doing it I freeze! Maybe this is part of my process during this injury.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great quote. I know what you're talking about-- I feel it bubbling under the surface too, although I don't think it's time to make any moves just yet, as we're still in the grow-our-family stage of life. But it's fun to dream about what's next, in terms of career, voluntary service, running, family life, more education... I'm not sure what it will look like, but I know things will be changing in the next few years here too. Love how you put this together- go after those dreams!!
ReplyDeleteneeded this today, thanks for sharing. i'm for sure one of those creature of habit people where i find comfort in the familiarity of my surroundings and seem to be experiencing a bit of shock right now as a HUGE life change is sitting right in front of my face ready to greet me very shortly here, and i'm scared shitless. just not ready yet i suppose to face my fate and my heart is just breaking thinking about moving on, when it's really not that big of a deal.
ReplyDeleteexcited to see what changes are ahead waiting for your beautiful soul to conquer them!
When my husband and I lived in the Bay Area we used to dream about living in Oregon but we always got stuck on the fact that we had no friends, family or work here. At some point, we decided to throw our efforts into making it work and here we are 4 years later. We feel very blessed that we could make the move and we love our life here.
ReplyDeletelove this. wish i could share with my bf. he needs to read it. thanks for reminding me to not be scared-to embrace it all. whatever it may be. kinda feeling like you lately-like things are going to be happening soon. and i’m ready. thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDeleteThis quote is a great reminder to really embrace and live the life you want. Easier said than done, but something to definitely work towards. I'm in a place of evaluating my life after getting diagnosed with MS earlier this year, I think the shock is slowly wearing off and I'm trying to figure out the "what next" of my life.
ReplyDeleteVery intrigued....and looking forward to if/when you share this big adventure/change.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a post awhile back about "leaving this world exhausted" and I try to remember that every day.
It sounds like you are ready for something big - exciting! I'm excited to read about this next adventure, whatever it might be!
ReplyDeletei vote for the southeast :)
ReplyDeletei know how you feel - i am ready for a new work-chapter (new assignment location, like when i was sent to kentucky!) though i am also enjoying settling in here in my town and making a few friends, joining a cross fit gym, etc. so, maybe i don't fully know haha.
It's so easy to settle into a comfy, everyday routine. But I feel like we need to do more, to try new things, to be uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely a creature of habit and comfort. Moving with 3 kids just seems too daunting, but recently we have talked about it and where we would want to live if we had a choice. It was exciting and made me start imagining us somewhere else. Can't wait to hear about what you have in store!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I would just like to pack up and make a fresh start. I guess I re-create my fresh starts with running instead, though. I can imagine the fun of exploring new places and meeting new people. Anxiously awaiting to see where all of this lands you guys. Adventure is sure to follow!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I've been ready for a change for a while now myself but my job is just so easy and allows me a lot of free time.
ReplyDeleteGood luck figuring out what is next and of course I look forward to reading about it!
Girl... I just read this tonight. I posted this morning about feeling a big change in my life soon. Crazy! The feeling is crazy and not really knowing what it is for once is exciting. I can't wait to see what change does in your life!
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