Slowing Down and Enjoying the Process

Just a couple (of my MANY) random reflections from tonight that really should be posts in themselves but I'm tired, ready for a 20 miler tomorrow and just needing to process a bit before I head to bed:

• Slowing Down.  I'm convinced that this year has opened my eyes to so so much.  One of the things it has made me so aware of is the power of slowing down before we can MOVE ahead.  I think this is true for running in the sense that I've finally learned the VALUE in the slow running so that I CAN get faster.  But more importantly, I see this being true with life.  Setbacks and slowing down in life can be frustrating and even painful but they bring with them life lessons, tools, reflection, etc.  that we need in order to be our best selves and forge on ahead to becoming who we are meant to be.  I've struggled a lot this year with some things I haven't talked a lot about with too many people.  Some situations that have really given me an emotional shake.  There were times this year I thought that maybe I was broken in my ability to reflect and come back to myself like I've always done quite quickly.  Things just seemed to drag on.  But lessons were being learned, wisdom gained, and my heart and soul getting stronger.  Now that I look back, I wouldn't trade anything for the world.  I've changed.  But for the better.  And I'm so glad I didn't try to plow through it all without taking the time to SLOW down and really BE WITH ME and process.  I'm thankful for the courage to be still this year.  The courage to cry and be weak. To wrap myself up in love. To admit that my heart hurt. The courage to ask for help. And the courage to finally cut some toxic friendships out of my life in order to keep my circle small but safe.  I'm thankful for  just knowing when I needed to slow down and BE.  I've learned so much. 

• Enjoying the process.  Marathon training is going really well.  It is simple and I'm feeling fulfilled.  And each day that goes by leaves me feeling more and more driven and happy to be running again.  As the miles increase gradually and the workouts get a bit harder, I find myself just so happy to have something to work at...it  helps me have a richer life. I'm finding myself quietly confident and trusting in myself and the plans that my coach gives me.  But when I think about WHY I train, I really don't think it is all about the end goal for me right now.  It isn't all about what happens on race day.  Yes, a Personal Best would be awesome.  Yes, getting faster is a plus.  However, that day doesn't take away from all that I am gaining right now. That day won't define me as a marathon runner, an athlete or a person.  Training is a process.  A journey.  Again, much like life when we hear the "Life is a Journey" statement..it's not what happens at the end  but what happens along the way.  I feel like so much of training is about what we learn about ourselves and gain from the process of training.  Training just to train?  Maybe.  Do I think I have the potential to run a much faster marathon than I've run before?  ABSOLUTELY!  Do I feel the drive to do that right now?  Not so sure.  I'm really just happy with where I'm at.  I don't feel a huge hunger for chasing a BIG DREAM or GOAL other than to just continue to stay fit, be healthy, and ENJOY RUNNING while being the best mother, wife and friend that I can be to those MOST IMPORTANT to me.  Gosh, it is such a gift!  The freedom to just be content and, of course, the gift to just RUN!  

Amanda