Motherhood: Lessons, Celebrating SIX and a First More Challenging Mountain Bike Experience

In light of staying with my writing flow, I'm forcing strongly encouraging myself to sit down and write.  I have no preplanned post or pressing idea to write about.  However, it IS my youngest son's birthday today,  June 25th.  The house is quiet with sleeping kids, my coffee hot, and I'm waking up with such a heart full of gratitude and love.  So happy to celebrate SIX with my little guy and to see him walk down the stairs and see his presents and enjoy this day he's been buzzing about and counting down to for almost a month now.

Such a gift it is to watch our children grow...  

What a journey motherhood has been.  A gift beyond any measure.  Each of my children, unique...beautiful...wise.  I've learned from them.  I've been challenged, stretched, and gained lessons I never imagined.  I've learned about
love
patience
heartache
frustration
hurt...

I've learned that when you see your children succeed and find true happiness, it fills your heart with such contentment and joy.
I've learned that when your child struggles and is hurting, our hearts can feel pain like we never imagined.
I've learned what it means to love unconditionally...that you can be angry and disappointed and hurt but yet still love so fiercely.
I've learned more than ever that each day is a new page to start over and be the best we can... hard work, forgiveness, acceptance...
I've learned that when I love myself and show my kids my imperfection as well as my strengths, I'm giving them a gift that is priceless.

I've always thought this picture sums this little guy up quite well!  SPUNK! 

My sweet boy is six today. How did SIX Happen?!  Oh, what a journey it's been.  Woo wee, he has rocked my world in ways I never expected!! It's been a wild and beautiful ride and I'm so grateful to have years to come.  He's been the source of so much of my writing on here...I've vented, celebrated, poured my heart out, and done an incredible amount of parenting processing with him in mind.  Some of my favorites with him in mind:

• The Kissing Rocks
• Using the Tools in Our Tool Belt
• Legos, Like Life and Motherhood
• Period, Prick and Pissing on the Playground (An oldie but goodie...oh, there were days back when he was 2 and 3 that I thought I'd never get to an easier place!!)

And an excerpt from this post when he was two and I was neck deep in BOY energy:  Two Year Old Boy.  No Wonder I Run.  

One wild,
full of life,
ready to take on the world,
LOUD,
Always-HUNGRY

Demanding,
binky-loving,
purse-wearing,

penis grabbing,
mischief-making,
potty mouth,
spark-in-his-eye,
gum swiping (and swallowing),
lipstick borrowing,

too smart for his own good,
flash of

TWO YEAR OLD BOY!!

Gosh, I love this little guy.
But
I
AM
TIRED!


So Tired.


And Humbled Daily by this child that seems to push every last button and tap into every last bit of energy that I have.  This two-year old boy train is a way different ride than the two-year old girl train was.  And combining it with the four-year old emotional girl train...well, woooo weeee!  I need my marathon training just to keep me SANE.  But it really isn't working because on any given day, I'm pretty CRAZY.
Nuts
Pulling my hair out.
THAT MOM with crap all over her face and shirt,
You know, the one that can't control her kid in the store.
The mom that is basically wearing a sign that says "Do as I say not as I Do" since she is yelling at her kid to stop yelling and use an inside voice.

The mom that has obviously run out of tricks about a week ago or just too tired to use them and now just tries desperately to convince her toddler and everyone else that she really is the one in control even if she doesn't believe it.

Yep, that's me.


But life is still good.  Just busy.  My bundle of boy blesses me greatly and, as all my children do, teaches me about myself and all the riches that life has to offer.  I wouldn't trade my days with him for all the money in the world.


I love you my sweet boy.   Thank you for adding color to my life.  You are a blessing.  

So much more I'd want to express in this post if I had time.  How can you wrap up motherhood and what your child means to you when you only have 15-20 minutes to type?  I can't.  This morning before writing here, I wrote to my son in the journal I've kept for him since before he was born (I've done this with all my kids).  As I was flipping through the pages and remembering snippets of his life over the years, I found letters, first words, funny memories, birthday pictures from each year of his life, hand prints... so glad for these treasures!  What a treasure.  And someday... this journal and the posts about him (even the ones about him being ornery) will be a gift to him when/if he becomes a father.  

---------------------------------------------

Her fearlessness and strength inspires me!  

And now for a quick 10 minute afternoon minutes to wrap this up.  Since I wrote the above, we've celebrated with a birthday breakfast and presents, and done a birthday celebration at my son's school (also his last day at this Montessori school).  In between camp drop-offs and pick-ups, I made my way to some of my favorite trails where I can run for miles and my dog can run leash-free most of the year.  This spot also offers some of the best mountain biking around so my ten-year-old daughter took her bike along and tried her first more difficult mountain biking experience.  She ROCKED it!  She amazes  me.  Even on some of the more technical portions of these trails, she radiated fearlessness and strength. Down steep hills, around boulders, powering up climbs, navigating the curves through trees and then hitting up the jumps at the end! I saw a side to her I've never quite seen before and qualities I admire greatly!  She almost has me wanting to try mountain biking but I'll leave the more extreme sports to her and her Dad and I'll stick to running trails...I feel much more in CONTROL this way!  So special to share these trails with her in this way and hear her marvel at the beauty in much the same way as I do.  

So neat when we get to a place with raising our kids where we realize they are grown up in ways we haven't seen yet.  Capable.  Strong.  Independent.  When we see them taking on the world fearlessly!  When we can actually take them along on our adventures and have them not only keep up but WOW and inspire us!  Maybe someday she will go Mountain Biking with me and teach me a thing or two!  Until then, I'm excited to have her along while I run. 

I'll end this post with a comment on my last post (about my triathlon and wetsuit lessons I've learned so far) that made me laugh!  Heather says: 

 "It took me a good ten minutes of struggle to get my wetsuit on for the first time. Then an athlete who had been watching me the whole time approached me to tell me the zipper goes in back. Argh!!!!!!

I love swimming though! I'm that weird one!!"

Happy Thursday!  Those of you in Oregon:  Stay cool this weekend!  Holy HOT temps!! 

Amanda

Mostly on Instagram with my blog these days with pictures and long captions.  :)