Day 4: Project Begin Again

"I hope you remember today that if you slip up, you can restart your day at any time.  You don't have to wait until the next day to start again..."  @powerofspeech

Gratitude:  Thankful for this woman who raised me.  My mama.  :)  Our relationship surely wasn't always the very closest over the years but we love each other despite our imperfections.  Isn't this so wonderful about family?

Day 4.  One of the guidelines for this Being Again Project was that I told myself I'd keep this SIMPLE.  So here I am... simply typing.  I started to think too much.  Think-too-much should be my middle name.  I started to think of way too many things I wanted to write about and before I knew it, I was overwhelmed and didn't want to write at all.  That is NOT the point of this project.  

Again, here it is:  

For the sake of keeping my goals for this project before me, I'll begin my posts with this:

So, here's how this will go. 

1. I will write something on here every day for 38 days because that is how many days until my 50k.  
2. I will keep in simple!!! Some days will consist of three sentences if that's all I have.   
3. I will write for me.  
4. I will try very hard NOT to compare my old Runninghood self to the Amanda typing today.  
5. I will keep my posts to daily gratitude, intentions and.... because how can we not feel sad, heavy hearted and powerless at so much happening in our world...I will include at least one small way I can or have done something to make the world a better place (this can be as simple and powerful as helping my child learn a lesson about love and kindness).  
6. Why am I doing this?  To Begin Again.  Just as with training for a marathon when we put in our daily workouts, I want to get into the habit of focusing on the things that make me happy and my intentions for making my life what I want. Writing helps me with this.  

Day 3:

Intentions (Many of these intentions are long term so I will likely mention them more than once.):   

• To look back on my intentions and reflect. Don't just write them!!  Daily intentions/goals are one thing but long term intentions/goals are another...  we've got to give ourselves think time...reflection time.  Time to look back and say:  "How am I doing?"   So in lieu of a long list of daily intentions for today..or tomorrow... here's some things I'm feeling good about:  

Things I'm feeling good about:  

• This week I made the intention to really ENJOY being in the classroom with the same group of kids all week.  What a fabulous week.  I've been so happy to be doing what I love and to be in a school that I love.  
• Not beating myself up when I slip!  The above quote... it came at such a perfect time!  This morning I was exhausted.  I didn't run my morning run.  I was feeling pretty blah about it.  Started to get discouraged and then I read the quote at the top on an Instagram post.  It stayed with me all day and my day not only ended up being wonderful and energized, I ended up having a strong workout when I got home.  7 miles with 6 800's.  Legs were a little tired from yesterday's incline run but I feel really good!  I can still have a good day when I slip with parenting or running or whatever... a good reminder to not let slip ups determine how good of a person I am or what the future will hold for me.  I will use this quote especially with motherhood the next time I'm beating myself up for something!! 
• Seeing others in a new way.  Assuming the best in other people.  A few specific examples on this but I'll save that for myself and my journal.  
• Motherhood and teaching and how the lessons I learn from each of them, helps me grow.  Teaching gives me new insights into motherhood and motherhood has undoubtedly shaped me as a teacher.  
• The messages I'm giving my kids about themselves and how they see the world.  The other day my oldest was doubting herself when she was talking about whether or not she would get an invite onto the gymnastics team.  She doesn't have her kip on the bars yet (looks like such a hard skill) so she was feeling frustrated.  We had such a good chat about not doubting yourself and the value of HARD WORK and positive mindset!!  Such a good chat.  In the end, her eyes were lit up with excitement and she was watching youtube tutorials on how to learn Kip and improve back handspring.  
• Overall, I feel so happy right now.  Challenged, fulfilled, excited, grateful and full of life.  In a really good place and I think much of this has to do with what I'm focusing on and having a goal to stick to.  It seems to shape everything else!!

Gratitude:

• Morning coffee.  I mean, really.  Such a good good part of my day!!  
• I've had a spinach salad for lunch every day this week so far.  And lots of veggies and water.  This feels good.  
• Bedtime kisses and snuggles with my kiddos.  
• Seeing my kids work hard in school and sports.  
• Feeling so strong with running.  But also very relaxed...enjoying running for the gift it is without pressure of time goals or too structured of a plan.  This is good for me right now.  I think the time will come when I will want more but for now, I am loving where I am.  
• It's going to be in the 70's this weekend. Bring on the BBQs, fire in the fire pit, sunshine, blue skies, trail run, and maybe a snowshoe hike up Tumalo mountain for sunrise on Friday.  
• It's family Survivor night.  Our favorite show.  Actually our only t.v show we watch.  

How have I, or can I continue to play even a small part in making the world a better place (Be the Change):  

 I'm going to end this part with a quote.  I think being the best mother I know how to be is the greatest way I can shape the world in the long run.  Here's a quote that speaks to me:

"Thinking of your child as behaving badly disposes you to think of punishment.  Thinking of your child as struggling to handle something difficult encourages you to help them through their stress."  

I for sure don't always reflect this with my parenting.  I forget often that my kids are working through difficult skills...I stress out, overreact, and run out of patience on many a day. Most of us do...we are human, after all.  However, I'm so glad that for the most part, my kids have a safe place in our family to learn and grow and grow their social/emotional and life skills.  This goes for the students I teach too.  

--Amanda