A Spirit That Doesn't Die...Those Who Lost Their Finish... And More Boston Processing to Come

So many thoughts I'm processing.  Thoughts about the people hurt and killed, where I was when this awful tragedy occurred, the "what-ifs", my loved ones, my race, and what I've taken away from all of this.  I think it is important for me to process my feelings through writing and telling my story and so I will...soon...maybe tonight. I also think that sharing our stories with each other is one way to to bring peace, healing and strength to our community.  For now, here are some thoughts I posted earlier on Facebook in thinking about those runners that didn't get to finish before the explosions. They have a story of their own to tell as they experience the grief over this senseless violence in addition to not being able to finish their 26.2 mile journey from Hopkinton to the finish line in Boston.  One they worked so hard for.

"So much goes into training for a marathon. So much. Time, heart, goals, dreams, personal battles, emotional struggles...training for and finishing our marathons brings personal growth, therapy, joy, and so so much. We often experience pain and struggle in addition to the feelings of accomplishment but all of these things go into teaching us something about life and ourselves. We always walk away from the marathon with a new sense of life, self, hope, and about what is most important to us. Our marathons carry over to our every day, and make us stronger. Whether we have a good race or a crummy one...a PR or a personal worst...running with injury or running whole...we ALWAYS have something to process. Our experience often sits with us for many days as we process our race residue. But finishing our marathons brings with it a closure of sorts. Getting our medals and crossing that finish line is something that only those that have done it can understand completely. It is part of why we do it again and again and again...that feeling that comes from training for and completing our race. In light of the Boston tragedy, this marathon is especially hard to process for all of us. In addition to feeling such compassion and pain for those who lost their life, were injured, or had loved ones affected, my heart goes out to those of you that didn't get to finish your Boston Marathon (for many of you, it was your first). Such a loss in itself...I hope you allow yourself to feel that grief and acknowledge the lack of closure you have in addition to the terrible tragedy you are processing along with all of us. The spirit of the running community is incredible. We will all persevere just as we have learned to do through the sport we love the most. It is a spirit that doesn't die but only gets stronger. Love to all of you."

Amanda 

Boston Tragedy Update

I've received e-mails from many of you in regards to this tragedy in Boston.  Wanted to type a quick update to let you all know that I am okay.  I was just picking up my bag from the buses when I heard the two explosions.  The explosions themselves were very scary but what was even scarier was seeing the reactions of the people around me.  Seeing people panic and run away definitely brought my fear to a new level.  The first thing everyone wanted to do was find their loved ones so it was hard to get through on our cell phones.  My heart goes out to all that have been hurt and killed.  This could have been any of us.  My husband and friends were just at the finish line minutes before the explosions.  They happened to walk into a soup shop around the time that they would have otherwise been right there.  We are now in our hotel room watching the news and staying out of the streets.  What was at first one of the happiest, most positive, fun,  and loving self-talk 26.2 runs with a BQ for next year has turned into one of the scariest and most confusing experiences I've ever had. Boston is a city full of chaos, confusion, shock and fear.  Along with plenty of love, tears, and gratitude at being okay.  Thank you for your love and concern.  More to come.  I will post updates on Facebook too.

Amanda

Boston 2013 Goals

Here we are again! Boston.  One of my favorite cities.  The weather is PERFECT for a marathon weekend.  The energy is high but the temps are cool.  I'm surrounded by friends and given an opportunity for a weekend away with my husband without the kids.  Life is good.  But it's also feeling a little stressful lately so I'm taking a moment to myself here to list some goals and intentions for this weekend. Intentions for this 26.2 mile run on Patriot's Day...Intentions for the memories I want to make on this gift of a weekend where I can just be with my friends during a time where the city is alive with a sport I love.

And since I seem to do so well with writing/talking to myself on this blog, I'll do this in letter form.

Dear Amanda,

What a crazy past few months. Moving your family across the country, finding a home, researching schools, nursing a broken down body,  trying to lay down some temporary roots, and planning for more travel to Boston has been quite stressful.  Exciting, yes.  But more stressful than you've even been aware of.  You're holding on to way too much.  All in trying to stay in control when many things around you feel out of control.  So, let's set some goals/intentions for this weekend and then get on with  enjoying a big day in Boston.

Goals for Boston 2013:

• Acknowledge where you are at in life.  Right here.  Right now.  Acknowledge that your body isn't entirely whole and that you're stress level is high.  Just allow yourself to BE.  Where you are.  
• Soak up the city!
• Soak up the friends that are here with you.  Make the most of the short moments you have with those forever friends that you don't get to see very often.  
• Have FUN!
• Let go of the the clock.  Don't let pace define you tomorrow...truly allow yourself to use this as a training run.  A 26.2 mile run through Boston where you will be surrounded by cheerleaders every step of the way.  
• Love yourself.
• Look FEAR in the eyes. Recognize it.  Know that it is is there.  And then dismiss it the best you can.  Fear lies.  Fear holds us back.  Nothing to be scared of.  Change is GOOD. Scary sometimes.  But good.  Grow with it. Change with it.  Embrace it.  And know that you are loved.  All will unfold as it should.  
• Use this 26.2 mile run to process life, let go of the stress/fear, and to remind yourself how strong you are.  
• Remind yourself that you are in control. 
• Embrace the terribly happy feeling that lives in your heart right now that comes with this move to a place that you love so so much, being in Boston, and having so much to look forward to in addition to being part of right. this. second.  
• Look around you.  Notice things...other runners, buildings, signs, smiles, colors, people spectating, etc.  Sometimes it is too easy to go inside of yourself and get lost in your thoughts and then miss out on the things RIGHT in FRONT of YOU! 
• Let your body tell you what to do tomorrow.  Go with it.  Don't OVER THINK.   Just Run.  Listen to your body.  

Here's to a great day in Boston! 

Amanda