Facing the 5k Fears/ Jingle Bell Run 5k Recap

People always say that we gain strength from facing our fears and although I agree, I am not always so good at doing this.  It is only natural to avoid the things that cause us pain, are uncomfortable or that we are fearful of.  Racing the 5k is one of these things for me.  Always has been.  I have a long history with the 5k racing distance.  Almost all of my experiences with it involve disappointment, walls, pain, puking, head case issues, and never being able to really run to my potential.  After college, I was so excited to never have to race another 5k for the rest of my days on this earth.  I was done!  Forever.  Or so I thought.

Last night my husband came home late after 8 long days in Washington D.C.  It was so easy to want to just  stay up late last night, watch a movie, catch up and sleep in this morning instead of pack the kids up on a cold early morning to head downtown to race a 5k.  I tried to get out of it.  I did.  I was a roller coaster of emotions the last 48 hours.  I went from nervous to excited to nervous to scared to death.  Last night and this morning I tried talking my husband into just agreeing to let me forget about the race, sleep in, set the alarm wrong...something, anything to get me out of racing this dreaded race.  He was having none of that nonsense.  I'm sure it was more to do with the fact that he didn't want me griping and moaning about how much I regretted giving up and running from my fears.  He's a smart man.  Happy Wife, Happy Life, right?  And in the long run, I wouldn't have been happy if I gave up before it was started.

Race:  Jingle Bell Run/Walk for Arthritis 5k and Kids 1k

GREAT Race for a good cause.  I would highly recommend this event for anyone looking for a fun winter race with or without kids!  

Why did I sign up?  For Fun and to see where I was at.  And to face my fears.  I caught the 5k bug after reading and hearing about so many of you racing them.

Goals:  Above all I wanted to push myself and race a hard race off of little to no speed work and 5k specific training. A baseline of sorts.  I wanted to start off somewhere between 6:20 and 6:25 and hold on.
A Goal:  Break 20 minutes finally!
B Goal:  Run a strong 20 something

Weather: Cold for us.  But NO Rain!  36 degreeish

Race Wear:  My lululemon bra and tank (love this tank because it is long and goes under things very nicely) with a New Balance long sleeve shirt over. My Zensah compression tight OF COURSE...LOVE these things for speed work and racing.  And against all fashion rules, I wear my Zensah neon yellow calf sleeves with the 3/4 length tights.  I like the feel...who cares that I look silly?  I don't.

Music:  Yes, I tried music for the first time ever in a 5k.  It served me well even though it really is such a short race and I hardly remember it EXCEPT I remember messing around with the song choices on my last mile.  What?  Who peruses their song selections on the last freaking mile of a 5k???  Um, yeah, that would be me.  Can you say adding seconds on to my final time?  Grr.  Oh well, learning lesson.  I was also playing with my Garmin instead of digging deep and kicking my own butt like one should in the last mile of a 5k.  I listened to music that I usually would never listen to and that would actually make me angry and irritated any other time.  Here's the songs I had on my playlist:

Hard by Rihanna and Jeezy
Hello Hurricane by Switchfoot (this one was actually a cool technoish one that I found off a youtube tempo run video)
Lose Yourself by Eminem (can I just say that usually I despise Eminem. Him and his music...just my opinion but his music served a purpose.)
Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce
Outta Your Mind by Lil' Jon (This one would usually make me especially annoyed but works for getting me going! Note:  swear words are heavy.)

Breakfast:  Toast with Peanut Butter and Coffee about 2-3 hours before

Warm Up:  Ran 2 miles with a few pick me ups.  Did some field drills that I used to do in college.  And ran the 1k kids run with my kids.

The 1k Kids Fun Run:  Um, FUN! Well, my oldest daughter took off fast, I held back with my 4 year old, and my husband ran with our 2 year old.  My four year old daughter is NOT a runner and I think we traumatized her.  She hated every second of it.  But it was the best 1k ever!  So much support and so many kids!!  Would highly recommend this event if you have kids and are in Portland.  At the finish, they all got goodie bags with all kinds of fun stuff...toothbrushes, hand clappers, some candy, etc.  And they got to run with ELVES!!  So fun!  For $10, our money when to a great cause, they had a fun time (except my daughter) and they got t-shirts too!  Cute ones.

The Kid Run.  My little girl was NOT very happy.  

Course:  Mostly flat.  Out and back.  Great course through downtown Portland!

Mile 1: 6:26
Mile 2: 6:29
Mile 3: 6:35
.1:  5:50 pace

Official 20:01
10th woman overall
4th in my age group.  Again, stupid age group.  :)

Start/Mile 1: 6:26 I had my music in when the horn went off so I was a little slow to get off the line.  By that time, the 17 minute women were long gone as they should be.  Honestly, I felt like I wasn't running fast enough.  I spent the first mile looking at my watch a lot (well, I did this the entire race...way too much).  Next time I will listen to Raina and set my garmin to beep at me but if I use music then I can't hear that so I will have to figure something out. I kind of liked the music.  I also spent the first mile looking at my reflection in the store windows I passed and zigzagging a bit. Again, What?? So funny in retrospect.  When my Garmin beeped at mile one at 6:26, I had a few thoughts run through my head like:
*  I'm not so sure this is my day.
*  Well, that wasn't so hard.  I supposed I can keep going at this pace and it won't be so hard.
*  I wonder what kind of splits I would have to run in order to still break 20 minutes.
*  I think I could do this with minimal pain.  Isn't this always the goal?  ha ha.

Mile 2:  6:29 Felt strong and comfortable

Mile 3:  6:35 Kind of saw my time going all over the place.  Still staying within the limits of my "safety net" or sticking with the comfort zone instead of pushing myself to my limits.  This is kind of a bummer but a lesson for next time. Again.  A lesson I might be learning for some time.  This girl doesn't like pain. Who does?  But some can push themselves so much harder and I want that.  That part of the spirit that says "Let's do this!  Let's push hard and go ALL OUT!"  I'm not so good at this.  Mile 3 errors:
*  Like I mentioned, I was actually playing with my Garmin and ipod instead of digging deep putting myself in pain.

.1:  5:50 pace.  I could see the clock go from 19:45 to 19:46, 47, 48, ......Saw it change to 20 just as I was about to cross.  If someone got my picture at the finish, it will be quite funny because what I was thinking was written all over my face.

Last Kick.  I was pushing myself here.  Probably more than I think.  

Overall Feelings:
I'm happy.  This is a PR for me and I'll take it.  I know that I'm capable of more but we could all say that I suppose.  Truth is, I didn't bring it and if I'm ever going to find out what I can really do then I've got to be willing to dig deep.  The mental and the physical are so connected!  I felt strong the entire race.  Comfortably strong...within reason.  Obviously, it wasn't comfortable like snuggling under a blanket and watching a movie but I felt in control the entire time and never really pushed past that "safety net" as I said.  Am I disappointed that I didn't break 20 minutes?  Yes.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't.  Of course I am.  I'm a little pissed at myself to this but overall, I'm content.  This wasn't an A race.  I wasn't trained specifically for this and I had very little speed under my belt (mostly miles the last 4 weeks).  This makes me feel confident and EXCITED about marathon training.  What a great way to start Boston training!

That sub 20 will come.  It will.  IF I ever race a 5k again.  Not so sure that is in the cards for this runner.  Whatever, of course I will race another 5k.  I have a time to chase down, now don't I?  Watch out 5k, I'm coming for you someday. Forget the sub 20, I'll get that sub 19 yet.  Maybe even when I'm 40.   But now is not the time.  It's MARATHON TIME!  Bring IT!

After the race we spent a long morning/afternoon downtown drinking coffee, having lunch and even making some fun ornaments at this cool place we found.  

Hope everyone had a great weekend.  Can't wait to hear about race reports from Vegas (so would love to be there!), California International Marathon and more.  Please tell me if you raced this weekend.  Be on the look out for Tasha's race report from Healthy Diva.  She really is worth checking out.  So much talent there.  She's only just starting!  Love to you Tasha.

Amanda