Lessons of a Lifetime, Learning from Ourselves, and Receiving Others

Just a bit before 7 a.m
coffee
computer
quiet.

Seems like the kid dust has barely settled.
and yet it is almost time to stir them up again.

But I'm determined to make today a good day.
Intentional
Present
Interested
Sitting down for Breakfast and looking inside little eyes/souls.
Listening.

So, in the minutes before my
"Good Morning Sunshines!"
I so desperately had hoped to do some writing that actually comes out flowing.

But...  Again, as is true with the last few days, every time I come here to write, I stumble over my words, things get stuck, and too much comes out of this head of mine.  Good stuff.  Fine stuff.  But LOTs of "stuff" in this head.  Seems like it has been that way for several months now.  My universe is shifting indeed.  Change is everywhere.  My eyes have been opened to new things.  And Running is on hold.  Until further notice.  I suppose this could have something to do with the writing/words not flowing....not having running in life changes lots of things.  But, you know, even then, good things come from it.  It's like I'm forced to slow down and put that energy into other things.  Just another season in life, right?

Yesterday, I woke up feeling like a huge carpet of possibility was stretched out before me.  So many possible changes coming up.  And a heart full of hope to go with it.  Excitement really.  A readiness like I haven't felt too many times before.  And with these feelings comes lots to process.  This can be emotional, as I've seen with myself over the last few months.  I can feel myself being stretched in ways that I didn't expect and certainly didn't go looking for.  I've been led to do some work within myself that I didn't know was even there to be done.  Good work.  Hard work even....the kind of work that involves the heart and soul.  And I can feel myself growing by the second.  Pretty cool feeling.  I'm grateful that Life waited for a time when I had some pretty special people in my world to be a part of it all.  People that have so fully and unconditionally wrapped themselves around me with love, appreciation and acceptance in a way that has left me feeling SAFE, challenged even, to unfold and take off another layer of Me.  Thankful for them.  Gifts in the highest sense.

As I tried to put things into words yesterday, I finally put it away and decided to wait.  Maybe just trying to write is processing enough. Even if what comes out is only a mountain for words all jumbled together.  At least it has led to some personal reflections that have been GOLD to me.

As part of my reflection, I am aware that the changes taking place in my heart/world are bigger than usual but changes are always taking place in our lives. Things we don't even notice.  Progress.  Growth.  Challenges.  Lessons.  New opportunity.  I've done SO much of my personal work (emotional, mental, spiritual) through my writing on this blog over the last two years.  It's been a piece of me and I've taught myself through my own words. This has been priceless to me.  I've written what I needed to know.  Even when what I needed to know wasn't going to be until days, weeks, months or years down the road.  Life is cool like that.

So, before I end this ramble and get my kids moving here, I'll end by including an excerpt from the piece I wrote for Sparrow Magazine about the Boston Marathon this year.  I do believe that this experience was so much more than a race...it was one of the most powerful moments of my life.  One of the hardest for sure.  And it taught me lessons of a lifetime.  It was the beginning of a new chapter in my life...and I see that now.  LOTS has unfolded since April.  LOTS.  And Boston was only the beginning...but a necessary part to what is next.  It was comforting to me to go back and read the life lessons that I wrote about then....not knowing THEN that they would be lessons for me NOW and probably many times through the years.  Glad to reread my own insights:

.......

They are life lessons worth remembering:

• We are stronger than we think we are. When I get to those moments in life where I doubt there is anything left to give, there is always more.
• We are not alone in life. Faith, friendship, and support of others around us will help us get through the difficult times. Friendship is one of of life’s richest blessings. There is great beauty and value in the support of a community.
• Being REAL is a gift to ourselves and to those around us. When we share our heartbreaks and struggles and allow ourselves to admit that we feel broken, we reveal the human sides of ourself that so many can relate to. We open the doors to be loved.
• We can always change and set new goals. Letting go of goals and changing expectations can lead to new possibilities. When one door closes, there are more to be opened.
• Hardships make us stronger. Life doesn’t always go as planned but each new opportunity allows for growth. Every time we are tested with challenges, we rise stronger than before.
• It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to stop and be still. We don’t always have to be rushing from one goal to the next. We don’t always have to be climbing and soaring. Rather, there  will be those times in life where we just need to pick ourselves up and wrap ourselves in gentleness, acceptance, and the reassurance that it is okay to just “be”.
• There are things we can control and things we can’t. What we can control is how we choose to react to the cards that are dealt.

The process of training for a marathon is so much more than just getting in shape so that we can make the distance of 26.2 miles. Training for a marathon doesn’t just start and stop. It changes us. We cross the finish line stronger, more determined and with a greater appreciation of what we are truly capable of. We test limits. We discover the depth of possibility in ourselves and in the life we have before us. Our goals aren’t always reached. And the doors we want opened the most, are sometimes closed and locked tightly. But in the end, there are always lessons to be learned and new doors to be opened that surprise us. I will forever be changed by what I learned in the Boston Marathon 2012. And I am only stronger for it.


I hope my spirit is always open to change.  It really is a beautiful thing to be at a point in my life where I can truly and fully RECEIVE...love, vulnerability, possibilities, relationships and lessons that were meant just for me.  And Then use them to grow.  Grateful for the possibilities that will always be stretched out before us if we are open to receiving them.   

Amanda 

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