The Meantime: First Ultra, Cycling, SUP, Exploring Outdoors, and What's Next...

I've fallen in love with these mountain lakes and my new SUP comes in 5 days!  Another thing that might seem silly to some but fun to me:  Headstands on this thing.  GREAT core work!  

It's been so long since I've blogged.  It seems as if the longer I go, the harder it is to write again.  It's hard to find my voice on here sometimes.  I think this has come naturally with all the big changes in life over the last few years but now that we are settled and  have put down some bigger roots, I'm looking forward to finding my writing voice more.  Maybe that will be on this blog and maybe not, but for now I'm glad to be here today.  There have been moments in the last year where I've come to write on here and it all feels so silly and pointless.  I'm not sure why I've felt this way but more than ever I've realized how meaningful and powerful it can be when we share ourselves with others...when we write and speak our stories, goals, feelings, inspiration...  it's a light.  It really is. No matter how simple or plain or small our life topics feel when we share.  Chance are, when we are real and speak what is on our hearts and minds (deep and surface), there is someone else out there that can relate.  A connection. I've truly craved this authenticity and connection in my life...with my own sharing and in hearing about the real life happenings and heart of others.  Those that want to read will read and those that don't, won't.  It's that simple.

Sisters, OR (20 minutes from Bend)

So much has happened since my last post.  Too much to write about in the fifteen minutes I have before heading off to pick up my son from one of his last days of preschool.  I've run my first trail 50k, caught the SUP (Stand-up Paddle Board) bug, bought my first pair of clip-in bike shoes, gone on my first big road mountain cycling adventure (big to me...especially the down hills...holy scary!!), entertained the idea of my first triathlon in three weeks, attempted my first open water lake swim in a wet suit (different than without for sure!  And note to self: wear a swim cap next time so you don't look like a drunk crazy lady wobbling out of the water with vertigo), and overall, been enjoying the heck out of these great outdoors in the Central Oregon Mountains.  I truly feel home...finally!  I think I really realized this when I changed my Facebook header from my picture of fields of sunflowers in the Blue Ridge Mountains to the mountains I live in now.  I know, this sounds so funny and ridiculous but that picture was untouchable for a long time and I never could even think of changing it out because I missed Asheville so much.  But something has changed within me.  I love Asheville and will forever cherish my time there.  I miss it lots even.  However, something has clicked with me recently that wasn't entirely here before...like my bike shoes when they find their place to be clipped in to my pedals instead of sliding all over...contentment.  I'm growing here. My roots are taking hold and I'm in rich soil.  Amazing how this can finally happen when we surrender to change and allow ourselves our process as it comes.

I don't entirely know what is next in my life but I sense it is something big that I least expect.  This morning I woke up with a very clear sense of calm where I know I need to trust this process and be still for a bit as this next chapter unfolds.  The fall will bring an empty nest of sorts for me as my youngest goes to Kindergarten!  I've stayed home from my teaching career for five years now so I'm feeling a little graspy (if this isn't a word, it is now) at times recently... grasping for something that gives ME definition or my life a purpose. But I have a purpose and my next thing will come to me if I don't rush and if I'm open to using my gifts...I'm certain of it. Maybe it will be teaching and maybe it will be something I'd never imagined doing.  For now, my focus is soaking up this summer with my kids, being so so grateful that I CAN make this decision to be home with them (giving value to this personal choice), and entertaining new ideas of how I can use my mind, education, and passions/gifts.  Exciting blank canvas coming up here...I'm looking forward to painting it!

I'm ending this post with some pictures and captions and will plan to be back soon with more detailed writing on training, motherhood, goals, dreams, readings, and thoughts.  I've missed you Runninghood...I certainly am hoping to be here more often.

One happy girl after a day in the mountain sunshine, a cold mountain swim, plenty of time on the SUP, and my kids lost playing all darn day in nature!  A cold IPA was nice too!

More to say with this... After our first trail 50k!  What an experience!  And what a long time running!  And walking up looong inclines!  What I thought would be an easy sub 5hours turned out to be over 5 hours but a time I was still proud of for my first!  2nd in AG.  A well-run event with plenty of beauty, aid stations, and beer/food for the after party.  Oh, and this wonderful man next to me?  He ran it very untrained and didn't finish long after me.  Although, he's a little injured now because of it.

Third day of camping....wrapped it up with having Elk Lake darn near to myself besides a few sail boats and my kids and friends kayaking in the far distance. A quiet moment to sit on the paddle board and take it all in with a writing meditation and finishing a letter to a friend. My meditation was using my senses to take in my moment and be mindful...I SEE.... I HEAR...I FEEL... Going home happy, tired, full, and filthy!!! And my kids? They are disgusting!! Bath time tonight! Oh, and I tried my first open water swim with a wet suit but forgot the swim cap...humbling!!! And holy vertigo from the water in my ears...I looked drunk trying to walk to shore. Dear Bend peeps, please don't laugh at me if I jump in my first triathlon in a few weeks...I'll be the one breast stroking and riding my brakes down the mountain.

Ride from Sisters, OR to top of McKenzie Pass where epic views and a lava rock observatory awaited me! Wahoo! Besides a numb crotch and no brakes left on my bike on the fly down, I'm feeling on top of the world! And oh small town Sisters, you make this mountain girl's heart swoon!!

A whole gaggle of kids catching snakes for hours upon hours...their own world...entirely lost in play...filthy hands and bodies, fort building, imaginary worlds, stars so bright you feel like you're in a dream, fresh air, cool lakes, s'mores, stories by the campfire, happy dogs, building new relationships, long days...so close to home but yet worlds away! Renewal! So worth all the work to make it happen!! Memories for a lifetime.

Life is fast! But a blink of an eye. I think it's so valuable to slow ourselves down enough to reflect on just how much we really are doing... accomplishing...working through and making beautiful! This is especially true for me when I recognize those little lying voices of fear, self doubt and "not good enough" creep in this head of mine. We all have this to some extent, I think. This exercise of listing the big things in the last year was pretty powerful...the truth is on the pages! It's not about saying "Hey, look at me!" It's about recognizing our accomplishments and life high lights...when we acknowledge these things, we give life to MORe of them!  It's been a heck of a year ...from June 2014 to June 2015...so much change but in the midst of it all, there's been some pretty big and beautiful moments! It hasn't all been easy but it sure has been worth it! Thankful for this time to reflect and read my heart as I shift gears and think about my NOW goals and my goals for the road just ahead. Life, I love you.

Hope to reconnect with those of you that still write blogs and read blogs and that I truly do miss connecting with!

Amanda
Mostly on Instagram for my blog these days!