Hardest Swim and Bike Yet. On Facing Fears and Trying the New: We CAN Do Hard and Scary Things.

Magical night at the lake after my hardest bike and swim yet! See that beach over there on the other side of the lake?  Not a big deal to some, but a huge deal to me to swim there and back!  

I'm convinced more than ever in these truths:

• We can do hard things!  
• Life is so much about what we imagine. It doesn't just happen TO us...we play a part in dreaming it up and deciding how it unfolds.  
• There are limitless possibilities for our lives.
• If we are too scared to try something we feel pulled to do, it pays to muster up the courage to just. do. it!  
• We all start somewhere.  Start where YOU are.  
• Talent, ability, fitness, education, experience...yes, these all make a difference when it comes to doing something well.  But HARD WORK pays off beyond all of these.  Hard work and belief in ourselves and knowing that we can ALWAYS learn and try something new!  

If you would have asked me a few years back if I could see myself even considering a triathlon, I would have answered rather indifferently.  I had no desire, really.  Yes, I've had fleeting pulls or thought I would try one on a whim but I've never followed through.  And if you asked me what I thought about open water swims and road biking up mountains and in traffic, I would have said nope!  No way.  Not my bag baby.  At the time, I was focused mostly on running and other goals.  However, there was a part of me that was also held back by the fear of the unknown.  

Mid 2012 marks a time in my life where my world was filled with many changes (some shared and much not).  Some of the biggest happenings of 2012-2014 involved facing some pretty big and deep rooted fears and ideas in this head of mine. There were times I had to fight hard for myself and what mattered most to me.  Times I didn't know what to do. And times I had the choice to either surrender to what was hurting me or fight back and face fears like I had never done before. It's still weird to me how the same two years were not only some of the hardest with the biggest personal work but also some of the most exciting, beautiful, and adventurous.  I know, this is all so vague but the point is:  Hard things make us stronger.  Facing fears teaches us that we are stronger than we ever imagined.  Beauty, purpose, and joy are there on the other side when we believe in ourselves enough to get there.  I'm thankful for these years and this work...I was shaped and grown in ways I never expected. I'm thankful that when life threw me these curveballs that rocked my world and dug at my deepest roots, I could see the vision for what I wanted most in my life with my family, the people that mean more to me than anything else.     I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.  I wouldn't go back either.  

I know, I'm talking about two different topics here:  Some deep, personal life stuff and then swimming and biking adventures!  But believe it or not, the two are connected very much so!  What we learn about our life when we accomplish new feats as an athlete, most certainly carry over to our every day life.  When we push through a difficult race or workout... when we challenge ourselves to get out there and do something that scares us... these lessons come back to guide us in our LIVING!  Likewise, when we push through difficult life experiences that might have otherwise changed us entirely, broken us, or pushed us off course of our best path-- when we fight for what we want most in life--the strength and lessons that come from this help us as athletes.  

Bike

For the longest time, I've had huge fears of road biking on roads we share with traffic.  Those bike lanes just aren't wide enough!! And people aren't always alert while driving.  I'm the same with running...get me away from traffic please!  I'm still a little timid here.  However, after getting in a few road rides, I'm feeling more and more confident.  And just this weekend, as my family was preparing to head up to Elk Lake, I decided to ride my bike from our house as far towards the lake as I could until they caught up with me.  I told myself:  TRUST.  Be Brave.  And I did!  

My ride involved lots of traffic!  Especially since it was a hot hot weekend where cars were heading for the Cascade Lakes in caravans!  Then add the roundabouts to get to the main road...these are tricky for a beginner.  For those of you that don't know much about Bend, many of the main roads here on the west side of town have roundabouts instead of stop signs.  This can make this newbie road biker kind of nervous.  The good thing is that Bend is VERY bike friendly and there are bike lanes almost everywhere.  

Once I cycled the four or so miles to Century Drive, all I had to do was head UP and out towards Mt. Bachelor.  People ride this route all the time!  In fact, it is the route for the olympic triathlon I'll be doing soon.  Might as well practice, right?  Elk Lake is 24 miles (a lot of climb) once I got onto the Century Dr roundabout.  Century Dr turns into the Cascade Lakes Scenic Byway where yes, yes, there are some amazing views.  However, this makes riding up slightly scarier for me since it would be only natural for people in cars to want to look over at the views and not the road.  Back to thinking positively.  People ride this all the time.  Yes.  So, I did too!   

I made it a good 14 miles (not a long bike ride in itself but with the up hill, it made for a good workout) before my husband and kids pulled up in the van to take me the rest of the way.  By then my legs were jello from the work in so much uphill riding.  My crotch was entirely numb as well.  A numb crotch is really only good for one thing: Childbirth.  Otherwise, I like having normal feeling, thank you.  Note to self: get a new gender-friendly bike seat.  It was so sweet to see my kids jump out and cheer for me as I approached and transitioned into my running shoes to run a bit on tired legs.  "Go Mommy!! You can do it!"  Ah, this makes my heart smile just typing.  

Run

I didn't run long after my ride.  Just enough to get a feel for what it was like to jump off a bike after a hard effort and get my legs moving in a different way.  In fact, I haven't been running a ton lately in general and I MISS it!  I'd like to fit something in today in between carting kids around to swim and play.  

Swim

Once we got to Elk Lake, I thought I might get in the water a bit and test the wetsuit, goggle, swim cap combo while fitting in a few strokes.  I had no plans of actually swimming my longest and most difficult swim of my life!  But once I got in the water and looked across the lake to the beach on the other side, I wanting nothing more than to make it all the way there and back.  I'm not sure what I was thinking entirely but I went for it!  For the sake of time (my kids are up now and we have to dash out for swim lessons), I'm switching to bulleted swim points:

• I'm not the strongest swimmer but I'm not a bad swimmer either.
• I'd like to be able to breathe on both sides like I do with pool swimming but in open water, one side is the best I have right now in order to get the air I need.  
• Wetsuits make me feel safe since they add buoyancy.  
• There was nobody out on the lake when I was swimming.  This was a little scary for me at times!
• When I was turning around to come back, I realized the water was rough and small waves were coming towards me. This made it much harder to swim.  I started to panic just a bit at the thought of making it all the way back and being out there alone (NOT smart of me...I know!) but backstroke and float definitely is a blessing when it comes to resting!!  
• Right as I was starting to panic, I looked up and there was my Knight in Shining Armor:  My husband on a paddle board coming out to support me!  Oh, THANK GOODNESS!  From there on , I was SOLID! With him by my side, I can do anything!  
• I made it!  There and back...from the Lodge at Elk Lake to Sunset Beach (actually right before..I didn't go up to the beach).  I have no idea how far that is but you can see some of it from my picture at the top of this post.  

My messy happy endorphin self after swimming a lake and biking up a mountain!  

Beautiful night for mudpies.

Can't wait to do some laps in this pool!  For now, I'll enjoy watching my kids swim.  

I'm cutting this post off here.  No wrap up paragraph....just enough time to run upstairs, throw a suit on, get three kids breakfast and out the door for a sweet summer day!

Happy Tuesday,

Amanda

Mostly on Instagram with my blog these days with pictures and long captions.  :) 

Swim, Bike, Run: Lessons I've Learned in a Week. And Putting on a Wetsuit is Half the Work of the Swim Portion!

I'm still on a writing streak!  Who knows how long it will last or if it even matters much but there is something about writing on here publicly that is a different kind of writing exercise than writing privately.  So, here's to day 5!

As I've mentioned in the last few posts, I'm seriously considering jumping in my first triathlon and using the fitness and endurance I've gained from my marathon and ultramarathon training.  Plus I have four weeks to learn a few things.  AND one special friend who happens to be an Ironman x5 athlete and coach to teach me a few things and join me for workouts! She's been beyond generous with letting me use her wetsuits and whatever I might need.  Oh, and she never makes fun of me for my old gear and ignorance when it comes to swimming and biking.  In fact, she makes me feel as if I can do and be anything I want while teaching me just by being who she is an sharing her knowledge.   Feeling grateful.  Corie moved here not too long ago from Oklahoma with her husband and three kiddos.  They decided they wanted a life change and now live here. Not only do they call Bend home, they truly take advantage of all it has to offer!  Corie's posts about their adventures and exploration here in Oregon have opened my eyes to lots.  Without someone like her, I'm not sure I'd be doing nearly as much as I am lately when it comes to trying my hand (and feet, arms, body) at swimming and cycling!  

It was only a bit over a week ago when I went out with Corie on my first real road ride.  Since then, I've had three really great rides, a few open water swims, and even did my first track/speedish workout in quite some time today!  Really, I've learned some big lessons in a week or two and I'm excited to learn more!  

A short recap below...  

Swim

Yay for an evening open water swim in the Deschutes River!  

Last night I met Corie at a spot on the Deschutes River where I was able to practice swimming in the cold river as well as swimming in a wetsuit again.  This time I also borrowed a swim cap so I wouldn't get water in my ears and end up with major vertigo.  This swim was a pleasant surprise.  Having another swimmer with me was such a COMFORT!! I was able to relax and actually practice my stroke a bit as well as get my heart rate up.

Here's what I have learned about the open water swim (particular in this river):

• Looking ahead while swimming.  Corie showed me how to transition from my side breathing to looking ahead without having to stop swimming to see what is in front of me.  I will need a bit more practice with this.  
• Getting a wet suit on and off is the hardest part!  Ha!  Seriously, getting that thing on is hilarious! Here's me below trying to yank it on before our swim.  Oh, and I've learned to use the padding of my fingers so I don't rip a hole in the wet suit.  
• Swimming upriver can be nice! I can get a fantastic swim workout in the Deschutes River by swimming just a bit down stream and then swimming up against the current for most of the time.  You don't go very far but you definitely work hard!  
• I'm no longer terrified to do the swim portion of a triathlon.  Scared, yes.  But terrified, no.  As long as I accept the fact that people will hit me in the head and be flailing about, I will just go with it.  And no shame in the beginners float, backstroke, or breast stroke.  No shame at all.  I'll crawl stroke the best I can and take breaks when I need!  
• I have visuals for how to start taking my wetsuit off as I'm walking out of the water so I can transition to the bike more quickly.  However, I won't be like Corie and have my shoes already clipped on the pedals so I can jump into them.  Ha!  

Getting on a wetsuit is no joke.  Serious business! 

Bike

This morning I woke up early and met Corie for a bike ride up towards Mt. Bachelor so I could get used to the course that will be part of the Deschutes Dash Olympic triathlon.  I have been a little worried about how steep the downhills are.  After today, I have no doubts I can comfortable ride this route/distance in a race.  I will still be slow on the steeper downhills but I know that even with my slower bike, I will be able to hang going up! There are actually several portions of the downhill where I will be pedaling to gain some speed too so not as steep as my ride up McKenzie pass last weekend. What a beautiful ride this morning!  Twenty miles to start today...10 up the mountain and 10 down.   It was early enough to where there wasn't very much traffic at all and we were able to ride side by side for much of our ride!  Us, wildflowers, and mountain views!  Oh, and I can see why so many of you are early risers...not a bad way to start the day at all!  In fact, I can see myself doing this more and more often.  Yes!  

On our way down this morning.

A few things I've learned about cycling:

• Riding with clip-in shoes isn't so scary after all.  In fact, I can definitely see how they are helpful.  
• Thanks to Corie, I have such a good visual of what an efficient turnover should look like while I'm pedaling.  As soon as she described what I want my feet/legs to be doing, I was able to practice this and visualize along the way.  
• Looking at the white line separating the bike lane and road when going fast can be helpful when zooming by shaded areas or parts of the road with a guard rail.  
• Trust my bike and relax my hands and body.  

Oh, I also learned that bike shorts make you look like you have a penis even if you don't:

Looks like I'm wearing a diaper. Or have a penis.  

Naming my bike. I named my bike Mater after that scrappy looking truck in the movie Cars after Corie told me her bike was named The Biscuit after Seabiscuit: "Though he be but little, he is fierce."  Still wearing my diaper. 

Run

Today when I dropped one daughter off at a camp and had an hour to pick the other up at the same spot, I took advantage of my time and hit up the track for some light speed work.  With all the endurance training and trail running leading up to my 50k, it's been forever since I've done track work.  I didn't even do much at all but it is so very obvious how out of track/speed shape I am!  Woo wee!  I did four 400s and four 200s with warm up and cool down.  Simple.  Pretty sure my 10 year old runs a faster 400 than me right now!  Granted, I wasn't running them all out but I was surely tired!  I've been running and racing for over 20 years (this makes me sound OLD!) so I didn't learn anything new today but I was reminded: 

• Start where you are. 
• Your body remembers.
• You can build fitness faster than you realize if you're patient and take it one day at a time.  
• You can be in shape in one area (endurance) and really out of shape in another (speed).  

In taking this time to swim and bike, I desperately miss my trails even though it has only been a few days.  My dog is missing his trail runs too.  I hope to get out there early tomorrow to get my trail fix!  However, bottom line:  It sure is fun trying something new!  

I loved reading your comments on my post from yesterday.  Thank you.  I hope to get some time to respond soon!  

Amanda

Mostly on Instagram with my blog these days with pictures and long captions.  :) 

Exercising the Writing Muscle: On Trying a Tri

“Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.” -Jane Yolen

I think having inspirational writing/work space is always nice to get the creative mind flowing!  I had this space all set up when we first moved in at the end of last summer.  However, since then, it has been taken down to be moved into another room (the home office that my husband is no longer working from) but I haven't set it up again.  Creating this space (as soon as I paint my office) is a must do on my summer list!  

It's no secret that I love to write.  At least I used to love to write.  And I'm pretty sure I still do.  However, somewhere over the last year or so, my writing has become less and less frequent.  Even my personal journaling.  Dusty.  Rusty.  Out. of. Shape.  So much so that I've gone from thinking of myself as a writer for the simple fact that I wrote daily and loved to write to almost delivering a disclaimer whenever writing comes up in conversation.  I say something along the lines of: "Well, I like to write.  And I used to write a silly running mommy blog and have started writing a book BUT...." There's always that BUT lately.  As if I'm a pretend writer.  A poser.  But what makes a Real Writer?  I'm sure this question would be answered in several different ways depending on who you are. It's certainly a question I've considered recently.  There's this voice in my head sometimes...that little voice of perfection and "not there YET" that whispers:  "Ha!  Why do you call yourself a writer?  You're not paid to write (consistently).  You don't have a long list of publications. You're not listed in any notable magazines...."  The list goes on.

But here's the simple truth:  I love to write.  I enjoy using words to tell my story, thoughts, observations, and reflections.  Writing daily is fuel for my life.  It makes me happy.  Clears my head.  Leads to connection and depth with relationships.  Writing is something I used to and want to continue to do daily.  As I teach my students when I teach writing workshops:  To be a better writer, you need to live a writerly life.  To be a writer, you write.  And just as with anything you want to be better at, you practice...or as author Jane Yolen mentions above,  you exercise!  As with running (or any sport), you don't have to be elite or at the top of your age group to call yourself a runner.  You RUN!  You practice.  You get out there and move your legs and arms! And if you make running part of your life, you're a runner. It's about your personal relationship with running and what it adds to your life.  There's no such thing as a "real runner" as I hear some people say when they are giving their I'm not good enough disclaimer when asked if they are a runner and they say: "Well, I run sometimes.  But I'm not a real runner."

So, here I am, missing writing in my life (public and private) and exhausted with the disclaimers we give to make ourselves less vulnerable.  As I exercise my body as an athlete, I'm exercising my writing muscle as a writer.


Running: Run, Bike, Swim
Running used to be my main way to exercise this body (and mind) of mine.  It still is.  However, since moving to Bend, physical exercise has involved so so much more.  Currently, I'm considering jumping in my first triathlon in just a few weeks.  I have never done a triathlon of any kind and it is certainly something that scares me a bit.  I've considered a triathlon a couple of times but never seriously followed through.  So why now?  Why not?  My body feels strong and capable from all the trail running, and after Boston and my trail 50k, I feel pretty strong in the endurance category!  So, it feels like a perfect time to do a first triathlon for fun without any expectations other for the experience.

Two things I'm pretty scared of when it comes to trying my first triathlon in these mountains:

1. Steep downhills.  Climbing the mountain roads is no problem.  I can power/endurance through this!  But then you have to turn around and come down!!  I will burn through my brakes.  And with traffic and a narrow bike lane,  it scares me to think of fearless flyers zooming by me while I grip my handles, clench my body, and repeat my mantra: "Trust you bike. Trust your bike. Trust your bike."
2. Cold open water swim.  Yes, I was on the swim team in HS but I was never the best swimmer and open moving water is way different than a pool!   

I think the ripping off the bandaid approach might be best for me here.  Not over thinking but instead, giving myself permission to go as slow as I need...no pressure.  And lucky for me, I have some great resources here in Bend.  My friend Corie (also a triathlon/endurance coach) has been such a huge support for me with my consideration of stepping un-tri-trained into an olympic or sprint distance Triathlon.  She's offered to take me out for mountain rides and river swims, loaned me her wet suits, and so much more.  Thankful for her!  

What little progress I have made towards this thought of jumping in a triathlon:

• I bought clip-in shoes for my bike!  And so far, I have not crashed but I know just by typing this, I'm jinxing myself.  Knocking on wood now.  
• A couple longer bike rides.  One was last week where I rode from Sisters, OR to the top of McKenzie pass.  This was about 30 miles of riding from what I was told so not too far but long enough to give my body a taste.  Climbing up the pass was no problem but coming down was a little scary for me.  Luckily, there were no cars on the road so felt ok about my awkward brake riding on the steep, windy decent.  
• I tried a couple cold water lake swims recently.  Two of them were with a wet suit.  The wet suit was really a big pain in the butt ...what a process!!  However, it kept me warm and more buoyant so I didn't get the same panic feeling like I did the week before when I thought I'd just swim half way across the lake in my swimsuit no problem.  

What I'd like to work on in the next couple of weeks:

• At least 2 more longer bike rides on steep roads.  
• Trying to run right after a longer bike ride so I can get a feel for this. And riding after a swim.  
• Two or three swims in the cold Deschutes River to practice how it feels and get more comfortable with my strokes.  However, you bet I'll be the breast stroker and back floater!  No shame.  
• Actually wearing a swim cap next time I swim in the rivers or lakes!  Otherwise, the water in my ears leads to crazy vertigo that has me stumbling around like a drunk toddler. 
• Maintaining endurance.  

If I don't feel comfortable and SAFE after practicing these points I listed, I will wait to find a triathlon further out.  But if I do feel ok at them even though I'll likely be super slow, I will certainly jump in and see what happens.  It might be my first and last.  However, it might spark a fire!  

My first road ride with my friend Corie.  She took me out to some less traveled roads but I was still pretty chicken!  And my crotch was angry (I need a better seat) even with the padded bike shorts.  This bike is so old but it does the trick for what I need it for right now!  

I'd considered typing up this post with a bit about running, motherhood and life in general but as I'm writing, my kids have stepped out of their beds and the RUMPUS has begun.  I have two girls in the kitchen (my eight year old and her friend) making pancakes, one rowdy almost six year old boy antagonizing his oldest sister, and a very non-morning person ten year old ready to eat said little boy/brother for breakfast.  Besides, in my attempts to exercise my writing muscle again, I think shorter is better.  I'll write on Motherhood and Life next time!

A quick shout out to my sweet friend (and amazing runner) Marci as she races Grandma's Marathon this weekend!  So glad to call her friend...such a beautiful and wise woman!

Marci in Duluth running Grandma's Marathon last year in 2:35

1. Have you done a triathlon of any distance?  What one?  What was your first?  
2. Any triathlon tips for a beginner who is potentially jumping in an Olympic distance mountain (steep ride, cold river swim) triathlon?  
3. What's a "muscle" or habit in your life you miss that you'd like to spend more time exercising?  

Amanda
Mostly on Instagram with my blog these days with pictures and long captions.  :)