Books That Stick With Us, Letting Go of a Run Sometimes, and Baked Beth's Lazy Eye!

Reading a really great book right now.  The kind that touches and teaches to my heart, mind, and spirit!  Love books like this.  Cutting For Stone by Abraham Verghese is a book that will probably stick with me in some way for most of my life.  I've read many books like this...the kind of book that creeps into my mind at the most unexpected of moments, reminding me of a feeling or lesson that I learned....maybe a fact from history or a story about a custom in another country.  It was hard for me to put my book down today.  I just wanted to keep reading and reading.  I found myself marking in the margins, underlining key lines that "spoke" to me and folding the corners so I wouldn't lose these precious little nuggets of writing.  My favorite lines from today are about Ghosh, one of the main characters:  


"The bow tie told the world how pleased he was to be alive and how much he celebrated his profession, which he called "my romantic and passionate pursuit".  The way Ghosh practiced his profession, the way he lived his life, it was all that."


These were just a couple of the sentences that I loved from today.  This part in particular says so much about how I want and do live my life.  My profession is my "romantic and passionate pursuit".  Right now that is motherhood.  When I'm teaching, it is changing lives and learning about literacy instruction.  When I am student, it is learning and absorbing all that I can.  I love the character Ghosh...a man that lives his life with passion, purpose and intention.  I think we can be passionate and purposeful and many things in life...it is up to us to find joy and meaning in our daily living.  

Still Fine Tuning My Life Balance

My Runninghood Facebook Status tonight:


Am I going to remember the 10 miles I run tonight (for a race I'm not even really seriously training for) or am I going to remember staying home and baking cookies with my daughters and jumping on the trampoline on this beautiful fall evening? Hmmm, sometimes you just don't run and that's okay too! Always finding that fine balance between dedication and letting go a little for the sake of experiencing the present moments.


I'm really glad that I stayed home and made cookies tonight.  As I was putting on my Garmin and lacing up my shoes to go on a 10 mile run, my little man came up to me with his two year old grin and asked me to jump on the trampoline with him and my daughter reminded me for the tenth time that we were going to make cookies today.  At that point I realized that this 10 miles that I had planned could wait.  It wasn't something that I HAD to do.  I am not training for anything serious...just training enough to keep a base and not fall on my face at the couple of races I have coming up.  I know that once my training picks up again for Boston (Yes, I got in!) then I will make sure I am focused and dedicated.  I think it is good for my kids to see both sides:


A.  That their Mom sets goals, works hard, and is dedicated and diligent when it comes to her training.
   and 
B.  That their Mom can let a run go sometimes and be okay with it.  Especially if it means that she did it to stay home and do something fun with them.  


I think both of these sides teach them something.  They learn that dedication, hard work and commitment to a goal is important to being successful in life.  They also learn that it is important to find balance, let go of control sometimes, and enjoy being spontaneous and living for the moment.  It is really easy for runners (anyone really) to get obsessive about something that is important to them.  Sometimes to the point of losing sight of some of the MORE important parts of life.  Just part of finding balance.


Creative Energy


I think it is pretty lame that I keep forgetting about my own contest.  You know, the one that challenges you all to get in touch with your "inner artist".  Asking you to paint, play with clay, draw a cartoon, arrange a vegetable collage perhaps, write a poem...whatever. Something just to see how being creative gives you energy in a way you might not have expected.  I've only had a few of you send me pictures and that's okay.  This really wasn't about seeing how many people could get to join some silly contest.  Some of you might not even like the prize.  It was more about having an urge to be more creative and try to do something outside my comfort box as a way to energize my life and I wanted to share the challenge with you.  Those of you who have done this, have mentioned or written to me to tell me how it has been fun, enlightening, relaxing, or energizing in some way. 


Julie from Finish Line Diaries just recently posted about her creative process.  Check it 
out.  Thanks Julie!  Love it! 

Jenn even baked SUAR in the oven and gave her a lazy eye to go with her green bikini. 

Those of you that still want to participate, You have a week to get down and dirty with your crayolas or tape.  Even band aid art!  Maybe some old running shoes? So, here's a link to the Contest:  Getting Back To Basics!  Have fun!     




What is one of your all-time favorite books and why?  



Are you Running the Boston Marathon or do you know of someone running?  


Do you write in the margins of your books and underline favorite lines??  

One Life. One Body. LOVE This!

I saw this posted on facebook just now and it spoke to me so deeply!  This is why I do it!  To see what I, ME, Amanda am capable of.  It isn't about comparing myself to others or feeling like a failure if I don't run as fast as a professional, friends from college, or my running partners.  It is about using this ONE life to see what this ONE body of mine is capable of!  It is about making the most out of each and every year of life that we are given.  It is up to me to create a masterpiece.  I do this by pushing myself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Thanks for sharing today Nora!  


I have to say that I also think that this saying is equally true for how we use our mind and our spirit.  Not just our bodies. We are all given different gifts and it is up to us to use them. I could rewrite the words on here to say "It is a shame for a person to grow old without ever seeing the strength, beauty and brilliance  of which their mind/body/spirit is capable!"


Gym Time For This Running Mama
I went to the gym this morning to get my interval workout in while my daughters were in school.  At first I felt a little guilty about putting my son in the gym daycare for an hour or so. I am so glad I took the advice of some of you on facebook and did my workout early instead of waiting until my husband got home from work!  This was great for all of us!  I'm a happier mommy for the rest of the day, my son got to play with his neighbor friends who were there, and I have the rest of the day to be ON with my kids.  Oh, and I also got a great workout in!


1 Mile warm-up
2k (1.2 miles) @ 6:59 pace
3 min active recovery
2k @ 6:59
3 min active recovery
1 mile @ 6:44 
3 min AR
1k @ 6:27 pace
3 min AR
800 @ 6:18 pace
1 mile cool down


I still made it home in time to have a shower, put some make-up on, drink a protein shake, and pick up my daughter from preschool.  And my son felt loved the entire time.  Win. Win. Win!  We even had time to play on the playground for an hour afterwards.  


Boston Boston Boston
I registered for the Boston Marathon this morning!  Now the waiting....Hope to find out today if I got in!  I feel confident that I will.  Fingers crossed!!  


Do you use the gym daycare?
Are you running Boston?


Thank you so much for your kind words on my post early about my dad's death and the new perspective I've gained now that I am almost 33, the same age he was when he died.  It is definitely interesting to see how our life lenses change as we grow older.  It is humbling and revealing.  I'm so glad I can share my personal reflections on this blog and have them land so safely.  


Amanda

October 19, 1982...A New Perspective of Death, Motherhood, and Children

October 19, 1982
He was 33 years old.
My mom, only 26.
Three children.
2 sons and a daughter, me.
Jesse, one month before 6 years
Amanda, 22 days before 4 years
Joshua, 10 days before his first birthday.  
A father, a husband
Lost to us. 


Nine miles in the jogger stroller this morning.  My two year old son along for the ride as I tried to fit in my miles without missing out on too much family time.  Moving at a pretty easy pace, I had plenty of energy to entertain....pointing out the birds, trees and the many construction sights along our route.  My little man happily chatting and playing along, allowing me my run and enjoying having my attention without his sisters around.  We had just come down a long path at about three miles into the run when we came to a roped off construction site that we had to move around.  As I began to jog around the edges of the construction boundaries, a silence washed over me and time seemed to slow. There was nobody around. That we could see. It was as if I was being asked to stop and be still.  When I looked up at my surroundings instead of the path in front of me, I saw this:

I know that many of you have read my posts about my dad: Passion, Determination and The Will to Run and  The Deepest Part of My Running Heart. Some of you know that he died when I was young and some of you know about the connection I feel with him when it comes to running.  However, I'm not sure I've told much about the story of how he died and why this picture I took this morning brought back so many feelings.  


Since I only remember the story of my dad's death from a child's memory, then I will briefly tell you the story that I told when I was a child.  The part of the story that I understood.  My dad was doing an excavation job where he had to use his backhoe to dig a ditch.  He was trying to get the job done quickly and he skipped some important precautionary steps that would hold the dirt up on the sides of the ditch.  Instead, he did it his own way.  While his backhoe was still running, he went into the ditch to do something and it was then that the sides collapsed in on top of him and killed him.  My mom got a call soon after that and the rest goes from there.  


As a child, whenever I saw a backhoe, I thought of my dad and how he died.  I thought of what it must have been like and what it was like for my mom to arrive at the scene and realize that her husband was dead.  So when I saw this image today, it made me stop for a second.  And it filled me with some complex feelings. Especially because it was so quiet and nobody was around.  Just the ditch, the backhoe and my son and I on a run.  It was almost as if he was there saying hello.  


I know I always feel a little weird around this time of year.  The closer to October 19th it is, the more emotional I seem to be.  I think this is just part of remembering.  What little I remember.  But this year just seems a little different....


It is this year that I will be 33 years old on November 9th.  33.  The age that my dad was when he died.  
It is this year that my two oldest children are the same age that my brother and I were when our dad died.  
It is this year that it all just seems to make the most sense.  As much sense as something like that can make.  
I see my middle daughter, age 4, and I see how much she loves her daddy. Adores him.  Waits for him all day.  How smart she is and how much she resembles a little adult.  I see her and I think of me at 4 and how much I must have been very much the same. 
This year seems different too because I can see things from my mom's perspective now, a perspective I could never see.  
A young woman,
alone
with three young kids.  
Then, a woman that I blamed.
Now,
My hero!  


I'm not feeling sad today.  Not emotional even.  Just thoughtful.  And Thankful.  As I process this powerful moment in my life yet again, I realize just how different my almost 33 year old perspective is from my almost 4 year old perspective.  Wonder how I'll see things differently in the years to come.  

Amanda