Incentive jars are nothing new. I've seen the marble and token jars in classrooms that are used to encourage positive behavior and help with management and I've heard of parents using this same system with their kids. I've always been a sticker chart girl myself but it is time to try something new!
What? Our Rock Vase
Why? I'm noticing more and more fighting, arguing, four-year old tantrums, two-year old hitting and not listening, and just an overall need for some positive reinforcement and goal setting. My hopes are that these kids of mine will take charge of their own behavior, choices, and attitude. And they will feel good about working towards a goal.
How? I want this vase to be about more than just correcting or managing behavior. I also like the idea of using it to embrace and demonstrate a spirit of gratitude. Whenever my kids are "caught" making great choices that demonstrate that they are working towards their goals and showing love, consideration, and care for themselves, me, and each other, they will be able to put a rock in the vase. In addition to getting rocks for working towards goals and demonstrating positive behavior, they will each get a "gratitude rock" at the start of the day and they can put it in the vase after they share something specific that they are thankful for. We talked about "cracking open" generic statements like "I'm thankful for my mom" and instead saying something specific that they are thankful for like "I'm thankful that my mom cuddled with me in bed last night".
Purpose? As the kids see their vase filling up with gratitude, love, and personal growth they will hopefully feel pride and motivation to keep improving!
What Next? Once the jar is full we will choose something FUN to do together as a family. We won't get prizes or "stuff" but instead share an experience that will be memorable for everyone. Perhaps this will be an extra family movie night or going to the movies. Maybe even a trip to my least favorite place....Chuck e Cheese.
So far? It felt so great to see each kid holding on to their rocks this morning and expressing gratitude before they put their rock in the vase. It was beautiful to see their little rocks start to accumulate. So much more than just rocks...they are symbols of gratitude, love, and positive behavior. And by keeping the vase on the table, it is visible to us all day and we are reminded of our goals, gratitude and love!
Getting Started: If you want to do something like this too, it is EASY!
1. Go to the dollar store and get a vase and a bag of rocks.
2. Set some goals with your kids. Keep it small. Maybe even just choose one big thing for them to work on. For my four year old it is simply to start having a more loving attitude and controlling her anger.
3. Practice gratitude daily and encourage them to think of specific things. Even as simple as "I'm thankful for the warm car this morning."
4. Notice positive behavior OFTEN. If you go too long before catching your kids working on their goal, they can get off track and get discouraged. When we recognize their efforts and celebrate in their small steps, they take pride and ownership of their choices and it is exciting for them.
5. Keep the rock vase visible so everyone can see their progress.
More about running and nutrition for runners coming soon. I'm having an excellent running week and finding this new treadmill to be the best thing that ever happened to this running mama's training. So much time has opened up and the time I have with kids has been more quality because of it. I've even been getting myself up and running by 6:30 for my first run of the day!
Happy Friday! Good luck to those of you who are racing. I'm so excited to be a virtual spectator.
Amanda
Ha, that sounds exactly like my kindness cubes system -we are filling a jar up with pom pons for kind statements, behaviors and use it for the entire family. The reward is also for the entire family. Works wonders for us:) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAM, you were one of my biggest inspirations for this! I kept thinking of your kindness cubes systems when I was starting a sticker chart and then decided to try something new. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteGenius. What a great way to foster love in your home!
ReplyDeleteso I have to ask- how do you come up with all your great projects. I see for this one Ana-Maria was, but for all the others? One day when I have kids I will have so much for them to do :)
ReplyDeleteAWESOME!! I love that idea. Amanda, I love your blog because it covers so many different topics! I wonder if Billy would be up to doing this Rock Vase with just the two of us:)
ReplyDeleteGreat idea! My kiddos are beyond that stage but I could probably use it for my own positive behavior :).
ReplyDeleteHappy Weekend! :)
I just found you a few minutes ago and I can tell already we have a lot in common. I love motivation, inspiration, setting goals, learning, teaching, running, positive affirmation with children...all of it. I look forward to following your blog. :) Good to meet you, I'm Jessica from Phoenix, AZ.
ReplyDeleterunningtobeskinny.com
What a fantastic initiative! It sounds like the kids are really embracing it, too - that has to make you feel good!
ReplyDeleteI actually did something very similar when mine were little, it does work. Now, well....I think I'd have to come up with something better
ReplyDeleteSo freaking creative and such a doer! I'm picking your brain if I ever have kiddos! Where is your cape?!
ReplyDeleteWe have a marble jar for behavior and it works really well. But I feel like we focus so much on the negative behaviors with it. I love this idea of focusing on positives. I think it might work great for working with my son on calming down. Thanks again for the great creative ideas. Oh and I love that you are working with more specific statements of gratitude!
ReplyDeleteAnother great idea! No wonder your skin stretches. You were born to be a mom and raise some amazing kids! How come you don't use the jewels from the fairy? :)
ReplyDeleteFantastic idea! I've been trying to think of a positive way to help my son control his temper (almost five and he still erupts like a two-year-old far too often) and my daughter her nascent smart mouth. I'm going to implement this as soon as we get back from our trip.
ReplyDeleteThat's such a lovely idea. I wish I'd been as creative when my kids were little. Making them focus on the positive is a life lesson that's invaluable.
ReplyDeleteI love this. It's so important to teach kids that being happy and grateful is a CHOICE and such a rewarding way to live. Not only to yourself but to those around you.
ReplyDeleteMy hopes are that these kids of mine will take charge of their own ... fitbitcharge.blogspot.com
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