I'm doing a fine job with things. More than fine.
Life is good.
But I just haven't had the same passion or color in my life. The kind of alertness that makes me marvel at the things that are so easy to go unnoticed...it just hasn't been there.
Yesterday was the first time I picked up my personal journal or journals to my kids in months! I opened my journal and honestly, I felt like I was having tea with a stranger when I tried to write something. Those of you that know me from this blog know that my journals and writing are one of the biggest ways I connect with myself and stay grounded and present in my life. It was weird being alone with my thoughts and coaxing myself to do some reflection.
It was work. Work to connect with ME. Work to be still with my thoughts and think about what I'm really feeling and where I'm really AT with LIFE. Right now.
We don't always have to be doing this work. Life is busy. We get tired. And truthfully, sometimes is is nice to just go on autopilot and zone out. Just be. Not always be thinking. I just don't like going too long living my life just going through the motions before I turn the auto pilot off and start being a bit more alert. Reflective. AWAKE. In Control. For me, this means taking more time for writing again....my personal writing and even my blog writing. Not the kind of blog posts where I do product reviews or tell you what I ate for breakfast and what kind of shoes I'm wearing. But the deeper stuff. The kind of posts that help me grow and process. The kind where I share my life, thoughts, ideas, struggles...be REAL. I've missed that kind of blogging. I miss the connections and relationships that come from that kind of blogging. The moms I meet via e-mail that write to tell me their struggles as a mother or trying to find ways to balance fitness/health with every day life. The comments where people share similar stories and advice.
I think there are many cycles/season in life and we don't always have to be doing the same thing or enjoying the same activities and outlets. That's what is cool about life. But I do know that lately, I've been thinking it is time to get my writing/journaling/vulnerable side moving again. Blowing the dust off this week I think.
In the meantime, this weekend was pretty epic in terms of RUNNING!
Yesterday (Thanks to Tasha from Healthy Diva), I ran the Helvetia Half Marathon as marathon training run. This was not a race. The goal was to hit goal marathon pace for the first 10 miles so that I could get a feel for it off of my treadmill. Then I had the last three miles to do whatever I felt like. For the Sauvie Island Marathon (July 4th), my goal marathon pace is right around 7:38/7:40 so I was trying to come as close to this pace as possible (even on the downhills). Here's how it went:
And here is the elevation profile of this BEAUTIFUL course that runs through the Oregon countryside. Definitely a monster hill in there.
Overall, this was such a JOYFUL run. I got to run with Stephanie from Soggy Runner Girl from mile 8ish on. Thank you Steph! Your energy and love for running is CONTAGIOUS! I got to finish feeling strong and happy. Happy that the first 10 miles were so easy, as they should be if I'm going to run a marathon at that pace. For the first time in training, I feel so so confident that I can nail this 7:38ish range without much effort. And I know that after this July 4th marathon, I can and WILL start training for other things that will only lead to getting faster, more confident, and accomplishing things I might have never imagined. High hopes here. I'm so thankful that I've been smart in recovering from this injury. I've been patient and okay with keeping things slow and steady. Because of this, running has been pressure free and full of JOY. That's the way it should be for me right now.
To top the week off, I ran a slow, easy, and beautiful 4-6 mile (wasn't keeping track) trail run with my Husband. Yes, that's right, we are going on running dates again! Our favorite kind of date. His plantar fasciitis is doing so much better. I couldn't ask for a better way to end my running week. It was WELL WORTH paying a sitter so we could go together.
This run in the forest with my best friend was certainly a start in reconnecting with myself and shutting the autopilot off. I feel refreshed. And Happy!