Thursday, August 9, 2012

In the Meantime...Reflections on Change, Parenting, and Life.

The clock is ticking.  Well, it is always ticking.  But I can actually HEAR it.  Quiet house.  Sleeping kids.  Still morning.  And despite the grey Portland skies that I've come to just  expect these days (even in summer) and the sore throat and hurt ear I woke up with (immune system down down down), I'm feeling content and happy to have this time.  Just 
Summer Song of Birds outside my french doors
Time to REFLECT.

Life is always better when I have this time. I start my day a more grounded person.  I'm a more patient mother.  My head ends up being clearer so that I can focus on the little people around me with intention and sincere interest.  I'm overall just MORE PRESENT in my life. Not sure why I still haven't forced myself to be an early morning person so that I can have this time every day. Note to self.  But I guess I love my sleep way too much so I usually find myself starting my days with the wild rumble of a 
Enough said.  At least for my three year old boy.  Pretty sure this is the year that I start going grey. 

I'm finding myself in that in-between place that we come to at various times in our life.  I feel like I'm almost at a big transition in life...the next chapter...a new book even.  "The Meantime".   I've never been good with this time.  It forces me to slow down and just wait.  It forces me to be present in the moment and trust that things will unfold just as they are supposed to.  And more than anything, I'm led to do some mental work...reflection, goal setting, and self work while I wait for things to happen. This is the waiting phase before the next big wave of change comes.  These times in life are such blessings, really.  So beneficial to growth so I'm rolling with it.  Even if I do feel impatient and frustrated at not having a PLAN set in STONE.  I'm practicing patience and stillness.  Listening to what life has to teach me.  

In the Meantime....

Some Bullets, Goals and Randoms:

  • This has been a great summer with my kids.  Despite the normal sibling fights and whining, it has been such a nice time in life.  However, towards the end here, I do find myself going into "zone out mommy mode".  My goal for today is to really try to be more plugged in to THEM and not other, computer, other people, plans, etc. 
  • I'm not a huge yeller but I'll admit, I do lose my patience with my kids and end up responding with a yell, growl, irritated look, etc.  I wouldn't like it if this was how others responded to me when I screw up.  So, I'm really making it a huge goal to just take that extra deep breath and count before I respond to my kids when they are misbehaving.  I'm the teacher here.  I model behavior for them.  Gosh, so hard to get this one down.  If I act like a tantruming brat...they will too.  
  • Husband and I planning a trip to Asheville, NC.  Really excited to check this place out.  And it just might have something to do with the next big change in our lives.  We'll see when we visit.  
  • Change.  Change-up in life can be such a healthy thing for us if it is for the right reasons.  Getting out of our comfort zones, stretching ourselves to do things that we once feared, taking steps to making our dreams come true even when it is so damn scary, making new friends, traveling to new places, starting new jobs....These things almost always make us a better US. They allow us to grow in new ways and experience FRESH life-soil that keeps us thriving. Most of the time, I believe that when we are ready for change, the changes will come naturally. Things will just unfold and it won't seem forced.  It is up to us to be open to allowing things to happen when it is right. The past few years have been wonderful.  I've enjoyed my home, neighborhood, job as a SAHM, etc.  I've been so content and happy. I haven't felt the need to have too many changes in my life but rather to really embrace just where I have been. And I'm still happy and loving my life.  But I'm ready for something fresh. It's almost like I'm a plant ready for a new pot...I've grown wonderfully in the pot/soil that I've been in and our whole family has thrived!  And now, it is clear to me in so many ways, that I'm ready for some new soil...a different life-pot perhaps.  We all are.  I'm not entirely sure what this new pot will mean for my life.  Maybe it is just a new volunteer opportunity or training for another big race.  Travel?  A move?  A writing opportunity?  At this point, I'm pretty sure we are ready to make a big move for a year or two.  We are ready to go some place new to us and spread our wings a bit.  I think this time away will help us grow as a family and give us time to reflect on what we really want for our family when it comes to settling in a home for the long haul (until kids grow up).  A temporary move might give us that "step-back" time to make some big decisions about where we want to be when we return to Oregon...neighborhood, type of living (rural, suburban, urban....),etc.  Our kids are still young and open to adventure so this works in our favor.  And our close friends and family are fully behind us with love and support.  Even jobs are lining up perfectly.  So, all signs point to, for the meantime.  It will be interesting to see what this next school year holds as we approach a possible move.  What a great time to truly pour myself into making this one of the most memorable years we've had in this house...for myself, my husband and my children.  
So many other things on my mind that I could write about this morning.  But time is up.  I'll end with sharing this picture/quote by one of my favorite authors, Roald Dahl.  This was shared on the Teaching Children Meditation facebook site.  Always love what they share.  

Happy Thursday,

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  1. Oh my goodness! Asheville is only about 45 minutes from where I live (was just there last weekend) and I LOVE IT there! I will be shocked if you and your husband don't fall in love with it! Looking forward to chatting more about it in a few weeks!!

    1. i'm with corey! and would love to drive up and have a lunch or coffee or dinner while you're visiting... if you are available. i'd say a run... but let's be honest it won't be worth you time to go for a super slow 1-2 mile run ;)

  2. aaaaaahhhh.....I have butteflies in my tummy for you.
    1. i'm scared to lose you.
    2. i'm excited FOR you and for your new adventure
    3. it makes me excited for next year paid off, a house...a NEW life:)

    I love you A.
    thanks for calling the other night...I was just beginning to feel like you might have forgotten about me and then you called and it was so nice to connect and chat about those things. you're a very special person in my life. I will miss you, but don't worry I'll still stalk you by calling every day! lol

  3. glad you guys are getting away to check out a-ville soon. hope it's everything you guys have been dreaming of and more;)

  4. Oh my word I totally get being the "model" for the kids. Sometimes they have a lippy comeback, give a little snarky look, etc. and it's like looking in one really sad, scary mirror. Le sigh.

  5. I just had the opportunity to catch up on your past 3 blog posts and your writing always leaves me feeling inspired and reflective. I really appreciate your raw writing and ability to relate to people so well. I can feel all of the emotions you are going through and it is nice to know I am not alone. Enjoy your last few weeks of Summer with your kids and let your heart lead you to whatever decision is right for you and your family. Your geographic location may change but that does not change the bond of your family and those that love and care about you will be there for you no matter where you end up. :)

  6. I love that last quote. It's so true and such a great reminder. I'm inspired by your adventurous spirit, and looking forward to seeing what might be next for you and your family! Good luck taking that deep breath with your kids... I'm working on that myself.

  7. Good writing Amanda! Your thoughts on "the meantime". I will buy your book;)

    LOVE my morning email, coffee, ME time! Hard to sacrifice sleep perhaps but this is my FAVORITE time of the day and definitely the time when I have the most clarity in my thoughts. You're so far from going gray;) That wild rumble of three year old boy was placed right in your arms because you are the young energetic mom that can keep up!! Lucky kid! I do understand "zone out mommy mode" and even as my kids are older I often spend more time there than I should...

    Change-also expressed SO well and you're right! Really enjoyed reading this. I'm often afraid to break out of my comfort zone in some respects but ONE life. We're given ONE life! I have such a good feeling about this and I think this opportunity will be super for you! The fact that things are lining up so perfectly just reinforces that it's something really worth exploring! Hope you have a really great trip out there!

    Love the quote. Always love to click on your tab on my phone and see a new post! Makes my work day go fast, puts a smile on my face, and makes me THINK;)

  8. I love that your family is ready to jump into a change. It is refreshing to read that you look at it as a great opportunity and aren't dreading it. It's a reminder to me that change is good and sometimes necessary in life to move us forward.

    Can't wait to hear what the change will officially be! Have a great weekend Amanda :)

  9. I used to have such a hard time with the "meantime". I would make a plan and just want it to happen "now". I see this in Petru as well. The impatience. I think as we age time gets a new different meaning and the meantime becomes precious because it is our time. A-ville will be wonderful, and it will come soon enough. And those dreams of yours, opportunities, goals, they will all come into place in time, like puzzle pieces. I've said it before, you are a super mom. Your kids are so lucky. Grabbing your phone or escaping on the computer once in a while is OK and allows kids to figure things out on their own. ANd yes, you write that book, and I will buy it:)

    And that quote is truly beautiful!

  10. I love that quote by Roald Dahl. I think it's going to have to go on the chalkboard - the one that can be read from the toilet when you don't shut the door and who shuts toilet doors in this house?!!


  11. *´¨)
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    (¸.•´ (¸.•`love the post! ♥

  12. That quote is spectacular. Truly words to always remember :)

  13. I love Roald Dahl. I still read his kids books.
    I can't wait to see what life brings to you! Or what you go get. Because you're that type of person! You're not going to just sit and wait for a change, you will make it happen! It's interesting to me to see a move as a positive step - so often growing up in a military home we were disgruntled by being forced to move and change jobs and friendships. I like your viewpoint a lot better. Moves are risky, but they give you room to grow! Love your attitude. XO

  14. you make such good use of your quiet, reflective time. Change frightens me, but you make it sound as though you're SO ready for this. You must be in a great place, in your life, to feel that way.

    Good luck. Can't wait to read about what's in store for you and your family.

  15. Hey! I live in Asheville. Actually I was born and raised in this quirky mountain town. I can't say that I know everything, but I can certainly point you in the right direction if you have any questions. Hope your trip goes well!

  16. Your writing is always so good Amanda- straight from the heart. Finally, I found a block of time to read it, instead of just skimming through.

    That 3 year old ball of energy is sure blessed to have YOU as his mom. It will be fun to watch him grow with 2 older sisters...there's going to be lots of displays of male-ness in the upcoming years, I bet. :) He will be a tender warrior!

    Love your embrace life attitude. There is so much out there. Change can be a little scary, but your kids will see your attitude of trying new things and realize that there are wonderful new things to learn through LIVING life.

    Asheville sounds like such a wonderful place. My dad grew up in Roanoake, VA- not too far from there- and the mountains are beautiful and people are sincere and friendly. I am excited about your visit there!

  17. Forgot to say- that first image really got me this morning. Needed to read it. Note to self: stop yelling, start laughing :)

  18. Change is always scary, but one thing I have learned is that it brings such amazing lessons. When I decided to return to school I was faced with a lot of criticism from women around me, but not from my friends. They knew, as I did, that change and being able to shine in the face of change can set such a huge example for your children. My daughter now looks at me and says "You are tough mom". When I first set foot back on campus, after being away from it for 14 years, I smiled and asked God to lead me. I will be keeping you in my prayers and hope that these amazing new adventures open the doors to incredible moments for your family. Plus I will admit there is a selfish part of me that reads Asheville and thinks about how it would be very cool to have you just down the road. You are one of those people I would love to meet.

  19. Jealous of your upcoming trip! We have always wanted to go there! I hear it is beautiful. Love your reflections. I have been doing less blogging and spent more time being in the moment. Early morning quiet time is the best!