The clock is ticking. Well, it is always ticking. But I can actually HEAR it. Quiet house. Sleeping kids. Still morning. And despite the grey Portland skies that I've come to just expect these days (even in summer) and the sore throat and hurt ear I woke up with (immune system down down down), I'm feeling content and happy to have this time. Just
Summer Song of Birds outside my french doors
Time to REFLECT.
Life is always better when I have this time. I start my day a more grounded person. I'm a more patient mother. My head ends up being clearer so that I can focus on the little people around me with intention and sincere interest. I'm overall just MORE PRESENT in my life. Not sure why I still haven't forced myself to be an early morning person so that I can have this time every day. Note to self. But I guess I love my sleep way too much so I usually find myself starting my days with the wild rumble of a
THREE YEAR OLD BOY!
Enough said. At least for my three year old boy. Pretty sure this is the year that I start going grey.
I'm finding myself in that in-between place that we come to at various times in our life. I feel like I'm almost at a big transition in life...the next chapter...a new book even. "The Meantime". I've never been good with this time. It forces me to slow down and just wait. It forces me to be present in the moment and trust that things will unfold just as they are supposed to. And more than anything, I'm led to do some mental work...reflection, goal setting, and self work while I wait for things to happen. This is the waiting phase before the next big wave of change comes. These times in life are such blessings, really. So beneficial to growth so I'm rolling with it. Even if I do feel impatient and frustrated at not having a PLAN set in STONE. I'm practicing patience and stillness. Listening to what life has to teach me.
In the Meantime....
Some Bullets, Goals and Randoms:
- This has been a great summer with my kids. Despite the normal sibling fights and whining, it has been such a nice time in life. However, towards the end here, I do find myself going into "zone out mommy mode". My goal for today is to really try to be more plugged in to THEM and not other things...phone, computer, other people, plans, etc.
- I'm not a huge yeller but I'll admit, I do lose my patience with my kids and end up responding with a yell, growl, irritated look, etc. I wouldn't like it if this was how others responded to me when I screw up. So, I'm really making it a huge goal to just take that extra deep breath and count before I respond to my kids when they are misbehaving. I'm the teacher here. I model behavior for them. Gosh, so hard to get this one down. If I act like a tantruming brat...they will too.
- Husband and I planning a trip to Asheville, NC. Really excited to check this place out. And it just might have something to do with the next big change in our lives. We'll see when we visit.
- Change. Change-up in life can be such a healthy thing for us if it is for the right reasons. Getting out of our comfort zones, stretching ourselves to do things that we once feared, taking steps to making our dreams come true even when it is so damn scary, making new friends, traveling to new places, starting new jobs....These things almost always make us a better US. They allow us to grow in new ways and experience FRESH life-soil that keeps us thriving. Most of the time, I believe that when we are ready for change, the changes will come naturally. Things will just unfold and it won't seem forced. It is up to us to be open to allowing things to happen when it is right. The past few years have been wonderful. I've enjoyed my home, neighborhood, job as a SAHM, etc. I've been so content and happy. I haven't felt the need to have too many changes in my life but rather to really embrace just where I have been. And I'm still happy and loving my life. But I'm ready for something fresh. It's almost like I'm a plant ready for a new pot...I've grown wonderfully in the pot/soil that I've been in and our whole family has thrived! And now, it is clear to me in so many ways, that I'm ready for some new soil...a different life-pot perhaps. We all are. I'm not entirely sure what this new pot will mean for my life. Maybe it is just a new volunteer opportunity or training for another big race. Travel? A move? A writing opportunity? At this point, I'm pretty sure we are ready to make a big move for a year or two. We are ready to go some place new to us and spread our wings a bit. I think this time away will help us grow as a family and give us time to reflect on what we really want for our family when it comes to settling in a home for the long haul (until kids grow up). A temporary move might give us that "step-back" time to make some big decisions about where we want to be when we return to Oregon...neighborhood, type of living (rural, suburban, urban....),etc. Our kids are still young and open to adventure so this works in our favor. And our close friends and family are fully behind us with love and support. Even jobs are lining up perfectly. So, all signs point to change....now, for the meantime. It will be interesting to see what this next school year holds as we approach a possible move. What a great time to truly pour myself into making this one of the most memorable years we've had in this house...for myself, my husband and my children.
So many other things on my mind that I could write about this morning. But time is up. I'll end with sharing this picture/quote by one of my favorite authors, Roald Dahl. This was shared on the Teaching Children Meditation facebook site. Always love what they share.
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