Eyes Bright with possibility.
Arms stretched wide,
Open for receiving,
A sigh of relief,
A reminder of Me,
for Making my own sunshine today,
It's been too long.
We may not see the sunshine around here for 8 to 9 months out of the year, but days like this where I can run injury free and feel myself getting back into shape, are a reminder of all the reasons I do it...why I run. It IS my sunshine...it makes my life brighter. Running helps me see the world in color. It helps me open my arms to all the love and that life has to offer. It gives me focus and strength. Motivation. The time I spend running translates to the energy I have to give to my life...as a mother, friend, wife, etc.
Feeling my body move so effortlessly today (although still obviously out of shape) has left me smiling from ear to ear. There was no real sunshine shining down on me, but the trees were splashed with reds, oranges and yellows, the air cool, and the beauty of the pacific northwest so striking as I made my way up and down the hills around my house,
through the paths,
past the children playing soccer games,
parents cheering with their coffee cups in hand and coats wrapped tight.
Rolling fog in the distance,
Pumpkins on the sidewalk....
I noticed things.
I noticed the life around me.
My world that has so often been in gray lately was so obviously in full on color as I made way way home after my 8 mile run.
Only 8 miles today but it was 8 miles more than I ran yesterday or the day before. 8 miles...my new long run after a stretch of practically no running. And what little running I have done has been in the pool or very sparse and slow. My 8 miles today was 8 miles of feeling whole and hungry for more. This feels better than I can possibly say. It's almost as if I remembered ME today. I know this sounds dramatic or a little extreme...but really, the last couple weeks...months even...have just been odd for me. Not bad. Not good. Just different. An in-between place. And we need these times in life where we have to slow down and take a long hard look at ourselves whether we like it or not. This time has been good for me. But gosh, I'm so happy to be coming out of it and getting back to running and remembering the JOY that surrounds me in everything. Remembering focus and motivation. Remembering why...WE RUN.
So, although still out of shape, I'm happy with my run today. 8 miles with 5 easy and 3 moderate.
7 7:16 (ha! This felt more like a 6:40 might have felt back in the spring but that's okay...baby steps).
Goals and Time with ME
This morning I had some time in my journal (pictured above). My journal that I used to write in daily has taken a back seat in my life lately and it was so nice to reconnect. Writing to myself felt so good. Just writing to me...saying hello to Amanda....it was a breath of fresh air. As I was writing, a card slipped out (also in the picture above) that my husband wrote to me a few weeks ago. I didn't really notice the message on the front at the time...I noticed it but I didn't think too much about it until today. Today it was such a strong message to me. Yes, all we need is love. In my opinion, LOVE is the most powerful gift we have. It is the essence of God. Of God in us. Of God in the world. And having love for ourselves is perhaps where it all begins...the prerequisite for being the best we can be and spreading love to all we touch. I decided to make a few goals for my life but instead of my usual lists, today I just chose to keep it simple....
To get back into it slowly and just take it in as it comes. The next few weeks are about getting back in touch with running and myself and then I will be ready to decide on my goals for Boston training.
TO CUT MYSELF some SLACK! Love me. I am enough. I am enough as a mother and my kids will remember me as a good mom despite my mistakes. Really working on letting go of the GUILT that is always there for me as a mom...the perfectionism that dominates my motherhood mind...I'm working on letting it go and just being...ME. Enough. I'm a good mom and I don't need to keep beating myself over the head for all the things I'm not doing...I will celebrate the things I AM Doing.
Make time for growing the friendships/relationships that really matter. Give to them. Give and receive LOVE. These people are gifts...I don't connect with just everyone on the deepest of levels but I do have a handful of people in my world that I consider soul connections...people that have made it deeply into my heart....people worth holding on to forever and ever. I want to make sure I take time for these people...they make my life richer. At the same time, they are the kind of friends that will always be there no matter how much time we spend together. But life is short...I want more of them.
Follow Runninghood on Facebook or Twitter