Justin Beaver and Letting the Number Go

My friend just brought over a little Christmas package for us.  Inside there were about 5 or 6 donut holes.  I told my youngest daughter that she could have JUST ONE!  After my friend left, I don't know what came over me but before I knew it, all the donut holes were gone.  Not even a crumb left.  I plead long distance runner insanity.  You know, that small problem where you just want to eat everything in sight because you are running so much?  Well, apparently I have issues.  I didn't get away with it though.  My four year old tattled on me when my first grader got home from school.  Little punk.  


So now my oldest daughter is mad at me for being such a stingy thoughtless pig of a mom to eat all the donut holes and not even save her a crumb.  Ooops.  But it sure is hard to take her seriously when she has "I love Justin BEAVER" written all over her arm.  Do you think I should tell her that it is Bieber?  Or at least show her a video of Mr. Beaver so that she knows who she is crushing on these days?  Perhaps I will.  

Follow Up
Quick follow up from yesterday's motherhood post.  I realize that I never let you guys know how it all ended up.  Here's the lowdown:

• My first grade daughter is actually a VERY self confident little lady.  She really does love herself and doesn't think twice about being herself and speaking her mind. 
• Yes, it can be shocking to hear talk like this from a first grader but like I said, some kids her age are just learning to experiment with the power of words for getting attention.  Even though the note wasn't written for us, it was written for her best friend...someone she wanted attention from. 
• The negative self talk was due to a rough week with a crabby nagging mom and friendship issues at school.  It was probably her way of processing during a week when she mostly likely felt like she could nothing right.  Between me getting on her case about every little thing and her girlfriend drama, she wasn't feeling so hot about herself.  
• After our talk, things got MUCH better!  She's been cheerful and open with us this week and all seems well.  
• Thankful for the learning experience and the opportunity to work through things as a family.  Another building block for a happy healthy life.  

Running--being a slave to the number

Goodness, it can be so easy to get a number in my head and then get obsessive about it.  Weekly Mileage for example.  I think it really should only be a ballpark number but it is easy to get in the trap of playing that number game in my head so that I reach that number by the end of the week.  This is good and bad.  Good in that it helps me reach big goals and stay driven.  Not so good when it gets in the way of listening to our bodies and running even when our body is saying 


"Hey!!  Hey you!  I need a rest day.  A break!  STOP Running NOW!"  

Good thing is that my "listening to my body" vibe is working and is stronger than that obsessive "slave to the number" side of my marathon running brain.  So today I had planned on at least 11 miles.  I ran 3 slow miles this morning and then was planning on an 8-10 progression run at the gym later in the morning.  After being called down to the daycare because my son had to pee, I just couldn't get back in it.  I called it a day with a 5 mile progression run and that was just fine.  I'm not going to lie, after those donut holes, I'm seriously thinking about sneaking out the garage for a few more miles after my daughter's Christmas performance.  But, really, my body is tired and I think I do need a little break.  I should still be in the range of 60-70 miles this week even with a break so there is money in the bank so to speak.  

Off to get myself presentable for a Preschool Christmas performance.  I'm a little worried about the copious amounts of desserts that I will be faced with tonight.  Not so sure I have very good self-restraint right now.  But it sure is fun watching 4 year olds sing their little hearts out!  

1.  Do you get obsessive about mileage, paces, and plans?  Is it hard for you to break the plan and change things based on how you're feeling?  I'm pretty good at this for the most part.  Not going to lie though, I can see how runners can get just a tad obsessive and have difficulty veering from the plan they have in their heads.  

2.  Are you a fan of Justin Beaver (Bieber)?  Ha ha.  I have never even heard him sing but I'm about to youtube him so that I can get to know my future son-in-law a bit.  

3.  Do you have a hard time being around sweets and junk food without stuffing your face with them??  Obviously, I have issues.  This is why I try not to have stuff like this in our house too often.  Holiday season is the worst.  

Amanda

Motherhood: Helping Our Children Love Themselves. And Cocktail Parties, Lots of Makeup and Running!

Thank you for your supportive words regarding my motherhood mention in my last post.  Many of you asked me to share in more detail and I've been meaning to get here for a few days but just haven't found the time.  Truth is, things are much better but I've surely learned a few things in the process:

• Kids need to feel safe sharing things with us or they will bottle things up and this will cause them stress.  It depends on the kid of course.  Some, like my oldest daughter, are more private than others.
• I'm definitely harder on my oldest than I think I will be on my younger two.  I think this is normal.  My standards are pretty high and I can sometimes be too hard on her.  If I'm not careful, I'm just one big nag of a mom and she can end up feeling like she can do nothing right.  
• There is a fine line between helping your kid see things for themselves and telling them HOW to be and think.  I really try to be more of a facilitator and guide in helping my kids learn and think for themselves but this is much easier as a teacher than when dealing with your own children.  
• Every difficult situation we work through with our children is a learning opportunity.  I'm thankful for some conflict and difficult times NOW because it will only help make them stronger for LATER.  I'm glad that we are not the family that just seems so perfect on the outside and where we never need to talk about anything because everything is so seemingly perfect.  This would be easier, yes, but I'm thankful for these moments where we can work through things together.  
• You can never overdo it when telling your kids that you love them.  
• It is so important to find moments to praise our children and catch them in their efforts and hard work.  I try not to praise them as a person but more so their choices and actions.  Instead of saying "You're such a good girl or a good boy", I say things like "I really love the way you folded your clothes! Thank you".  I don't want them to judge their self worth off of how good they are.  I want them to always feel worthy of love and feel self confident even when they do make bad choices.  This is tricky. I'm probably not making sense here as I am typing rather quickly and my time is running out.  
• Positive self talk is SO IMPORTANT for all of us.  Athletes, mothers, children, self.  So much power in how we talk about our self.  I am smart, I am beautiful, I am a good friend, I am worthy of love, I am a child of God, I am funny, I am fast....these things are so POWERFUL in BEING what we want to be.  I can't stress this enough for my children.  We've really been working on saying these things before we go to sleep at night.  

So, what was it exactly that happened that shook me up so much?  
Well, my neighbor found a note that my daughter wrote to her friend.  It basically said "I hate myself.  I hate me."  Repeatedly.  My heart is in my throat as I type this because it was so painful for me to see.  Such an awful feeling to think that your child is hurting and not loving themselves.  But thankful that I saw it and was able to sit down with her and as a family and talk about things without having to even let her know we saw the note.  Truth is, kids at this age might say things like this from just something as simple as getting in trouble at recess or making a mistake.  They are learning to experiment with words and discover the power of them.  They don't always know how serious it comes across to adults who love them.  

At the same time that we try not to give too much power to certain actions and words, the word HATE is not typically allowed in our home when we talk about others.  I take it very seriously when they tell their brother or sister that they hate them.  Such a strong and ugly word.  Until now, they've never used the word on themselves.  

How did we deal with this?

After feeling like a huge weight was on my heart and thinking through it, I called the family together for a family meeting.  It was perfect timing really because we just ended family movie night.  It was a needed family time.  I had been stressed all week and really hard on the kids.  Very little positive reinforcement and way more nagging and pressure on them to do a better job at things, etc.  So, it was the perfect time for some compliments.  We took turns passing the "talking object" and when we got it we gave a compliment to someone else.  Each person took turns saying thank you and then passing it on to someone else.  

Compliments were a perfect gateway to talking about loving ourselves and others.  Short version:

I reminded them of the importance of using kind and loving words with people and how horrible it makes others feel when we use mean and ugly words.  I talked about how when we tell someone that we hate them, it is like saying that you wish they were gone.  It is like telling them that you don't love them and that they don't matter to you.  At this point, my oldest daughter got a little emotional and assumed she was in trouble for saying that to her sister earlier so she jumped off the coach and screamed because she thought she was in trouble.  This act out was a big warning sign to me that something was going on with her...she definitely had some big emotions bottled up.  She'd been expressing signs all week.  Inattentiveness, so hyper, overly emotional, etc.  I should have picked up on the signs earlier.  


After explaining to her that she wasn't in trouble, I talked about how the way we talk about ourselves is much the same as what we say to others.  I said that when we say we hate ourselves, it hurts us.  Somehow, this triggered something in her and she shared her recent feelings of hating herself.  She explained that she felt different at school and felt like she didn't have any friends (making friends with kids her age isn't always easy.  Much easier with kids 3 years older), how she has been feeling bad about how she treats her best friend and she said how she gets too "crazy or hyper".  She also told me that she lost recess from being too loud in the line for lunch....Woah, losing recess for a first grader is definitely cause for major STRESS.  And feeling different.  I had no clue! 

After doing some repairing of feelings by assuring her that she is wonderful and great despite these things, we had a brief talk about the power of self talk.  I used the bucket metaphor which isn't anything new and certainly not all my idea.  Lots of teachers and therapists use it.  Basically, I explained:

• When you say bad things about yourself like "I can't.  I'm no good.  I hate myself.  Nobody likes me.  I'm stupid...." you are filling your heart bucket up with gross, smelly black stuff that you don't want to be around.  Nobody else wants to be around it either and before you know it, it is so stinky and heavy and black that your heart is heavy and sad and you feel awful about yourself. And when you say these things to others, you are taking away from their buckets or filling them with YUCK. 
• When you love yourself and fill your brain with positive thoughts like "I love me.  I am beautiful.  I am smart.  People love me.  I CAN DO THIS!  I am kind.  I am loving.  I am a good friend." these things will BE!  You are filling your heart bucket up with brilliant color and love and beauty.  You want more of it and you will feel good.  Others can sense this positive self worth too and when you think thought of love and positivity, you are a person that others feel good around.  
• You ARE WORTHY of LOVE.  Even when you make bad choices. We all make bad choices sometimes.  WE need to love ourselves and others and just keep picking ourselves back up and trying to improve on the things we can control.  

Party Party Party

On another note, this weekend was our first time to host a cocktail party in our home.  We shipped the kids off to Grammy and Papa's and invited some friends over.   It was a good excuse to put on a sexy dress and get all dolled up.  I don't do this very often and it was fun!  I went on a 13.5 mile run with Nicole and Stephanie before the party so I was LUCKY enough to have Nicole here to do my hair and makeup.  Pretty amazing woman.  She's definitely a talented artist.  One of the best makeup artists around and I felt so special to get her royal treatment.  It was fun doing something I usually don't do.  My normal makeup routine is a bit of mascara and maybe some blush and eyeshadow so it was like being someone else for the night.  Thanks Nicole!  If you are in the area and looking for a good makeup artist for a wedding, special occasion, or even makeup lessons, Nicole is the person to see.  She's worth every penny.  Check her out at Powder Inc. 

Mr. and Mrs. Runninghood.  Gosh, I love this man.  

My house may be small but it worked out well for a party because it is open.  This was a trial run and now I know we can invite more people next time.  

Way more makeup than usual but hey, it was fun for a change up!   

Running Running Running
Training is going great!  I was at 59.2 miles last week but that was with no long run since I raced the 5k.  Hoping for 65-70 this week.  Officially training using the Run Faster plan by Brad Hudson.  I feel really strong and thinking it is time to start pushing myself just a bit more with the pace but still staying smart and listening to this body of mine.  Big focus is EATING lots of good carbs!  And balance of course.  My goal is to keep my shape without getting to scrawny this time around.  Strong strong strong.  That is my word for this training cycle.  Strong!  



Amanda

Brooks ID Member, Early Morning Run, and Motherhood Hurt

I've always said how much I am NOT a morning runner.  Not for me.  Nope, you're not going to see me get out of bed before 6a.m just to fit in my miles.  And I'm surely not going to be out there running in the dark and cold before I've had anything to eat or drink.  Nope, just not for me.  I'm a different kind of runner.

Well, not sure what happened to that runner but this morning I proved her wrong.  I was up by 5:30 putting on my layers of running gear...you know, tights, gloves, headlamps, ear warmer, jacket and anything else I could think of to keep my wimpy Oregon self warm.  And I was out the door by 6 for a 10.5 mile run with a friend.  No coffee needed.  I was just up and at it because I wanted to be out there.

Honestly, it wasn't so bad.  The first few miles were so slow because I couldn't see anything even with my head lamp but once the sun started coming up and we got over the biggest chunk of elevation gain, it was smooth sailing and I could feel my spirits lift at the idea of being out there under the open sky.  Cold but dry.  Another promise of blue skies and sunshine to come.  A rare treat in Oregon this time of year. And I was home in time to walk my first grader to school and prepare for my day.

And my oh my, I never knew there were so many runners in my neighborhood!  Runners everywhere.  Headlamps, tights, gloves...others out there just like me.  Crazy.  It was like a bunch of zombies only runners...just out there running the dark streets before the rest of the world wakes up.   A girl could get used to this.

Unfortunately, morning runs outside are not an option for me (usually) unless I want to leave the house by 5 to be back in time for my husband to leave for work.  Nope, 5 isn't happening.  My husband leaves too early for work and usually it is raining anyway. He's been home the last couple of days so I've been lucky to get outside more.  Yesterday, I had an almost 9 mile run in the afternoon sunshine and although it was cold, it was so wonderful to be outside without rain.  Made me feel like I was in Colorado again.  Cold, crisp, sunny and blue skies.

Treadmill to Road Transfer
The dreadmill.  Yep, the treadmill isn't a favorite in the running community.  I happen to like it and I've always trained for my marathons on treadmills during the winter.  Yes, it can be monotonous and Yes, I agree that you need to switch it up and balance it with outside runs too.  In fact, I've always done my long runs outside even when I do my midweek runs on the treadmill.  I also know that you should keep the treadmill at a 1% incline or higher.  But here's the thing I love about it the most....I think it helps me get faster!  It is seriously exciting for me to run on the road after running on the treadmill for awhile because I love seeing where my pace falls naturally.  I'm always surprised at how easy a pace feels on the road when it feels so much harder on the treadmill.  When I do my training on the treadmill and then hit the road, it is just exciting to feel myself getting stronger and stronger.  So, although it is monotonous and eyepokingly boring sometimes, I really am thankful for my treadmill for a training tool. And I don't have a choice since I'm a stay at home mom of three kids...the treadmill is where I can fit runs in unless I do my runs at night in the dark or in the very very early mornings in the dark.  I say treadmill is my first choice at this point in my life and it is getting me through my training.  Thank goodness for youtube...I can LEARN and RUN!

Brooks ID Member

I know most of you have heard on Runninghood Facebook by now but I'm so excited to announce that I was chosen to be a 2012 Brooks ID (Inspire Daily) Member.  This year Brooks is sponsoring ID members for different categories.  I'm obviously not part of this thing as an elite runner but rather this is a media sponsorship.  I was chosen for my influence in social media (blog, writing, etc.).  I've wanted to be part of the Brooks ID program for awhile now and so this is very exciting for me!  Especially since I genuinely LOVE Brooks!  I had never run in Brooks shoes until last year and I can honestly say that they are the best shoes I've ever had.  I will never go back to any other shoe.  It is kind of like finding a good pair of jeans.  You know what you like and you stick with it.  I can't wait to try some of their Pure Flows and get some T7 Racing Flats!  2012 is going to be a great year and I can't wait to share my love for Brooks with anyone that will listen.  Thank you Brooks!  I'm honored to represent your company.

Motherhood
A motherhood post coming soon about helping our children love themselves.  It is so hard when we see our children struggle and even heartbreaking when we find out that they have been hurting and hating themselves when we didn't have a clue.  There is a lot I am processing right now and things that I'm learning for the first time in my time as a mother. My heart is heavy and hurting a bit. So much of what I've learned as an individual and athlete when it comes to positive self  talk and believing in ourselves will help me deal with the things I'm currently facing as a mother.  I love my children so very deeply and as all mothers do, I want to see my children thrive and love themselves and others fully. And when they don't and they struggle....ah, this hurts more than anything because I love them more than anything.  More to come...

Happy Friday!
1.  Do you train on a treadmill?  Do you notice that the transfer from road to treadmill proves to be a confidence boost?  
2.  Are you an early morning runner?  


Amanda