Aunt Flow
On the Rag
Period
Crimson Tide (okay, made that one up)
We have all heard different names for this time on month. Whether you sit on hay in a red tent, wear a diaper-like pad, skip it on purpose, or plug it, most of us are "lucky" enough to experience this little life-flow blessing or womanly "perk" for at least a few years of our time living on this earth.
Okay, so maybe it isn't a "perk" and we don't feel "lucky" and I might be the only one on this earth that actually feels glad when my period comes. Allow me to explain.
Top 10 Reasons Why Aunt Flow is a WELCOMED visitor:
- Totally makes me feel justified for my irrational behavior, emotions and total funk that I find myself in for the
two weeksfew days before. - I know that I will have at least a week where my 32 year old face won't look like pizza and I won't find a new pimple every day on some part of my body.
- Tells me that I'm NOT going to have a 4th child!!!
- Reminds me to slap myself around and stop being a dumb ass!! The "withdrawl" or "pull-out" method is not an intelligent form of birth control.
- Makes me think I should get off this computer and make an appointment for a little "snip snip" action ASAP so that I am not wondering about that 4th child every month. Are you reading this honey?! It is time! This almost 7 week cycle wasn't so fun!
- I've heard that women actually run faster during this time of the month.
- I can enjoy happy hour with friends without wondering if I'm damaging my potential offspring that wasn't planned.
- Running two marathons in a month takes my already Loooong cycle and makes it even longer...this doesn't lead to a sense of control or peace of mind. Aunt Flow Does give me peace of mind!
- Again, makes me feel like my bitchy, grouchy, lack of interest in anything, no energy, zitty face, and "you you you you and everything around me annoys me" attitude had a purpose. Stupid hormones!
- All the hard parts of my hormonal 30's come before the period...the cramps, cravings, bloatings, "you looked at me funny so I want to cry or kick you" moments, zits,etc. Once it is here, all is well again...for at least two weeks!
Am I the only one that actually likes having a period or finds it to be comforting? How many followers did I just lose for writing about my period?
Amanda
Well what do you know? You are the only person not annoying me right now!
ReplyDeleteI only run faster when running toward anything I can eat, eat, eat!
comforting?? I hate it! If I could donate my uterus I would!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha! I'm on the beach laughing out loud. You surely didn't lose me here but of course you know by now, it would take a lot to do that!
ReplyDeleteGlad I didn't lose my Boston buddy to dirty diapers and late night feedings:)
Not a fan of my period, BUT I have noticed that in the 5-6 days leading up to it, I run better. I'm all bloated and feel blimpy, but whaddyaknow, my endurance ramps up. I sometimes wonder if all that fluid I'm retaining counts as being extra hydrated and if that's what makes the difference, but I don't care. Getting a good long run in during those PMSy days is a nice little consolation.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteI like it because I feel like my body is getting a fresh start over each month. When the bloated-ness is gone, I feel lighter and better. (Even though the bloatedness comes from the cycle.) I feel like my body is working properly, and everything is okay. It's a hard feeling to explain.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on #3!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd #5.
I have a Mirena IUD though because pull-out and any sort of charting/NFP DOES NOT work for us (2 of our babies are Natural Family Planning-lol!).
The cool thing about an IUD is that you don't have much of a period. Or at least I don't. Kind of makes that time of the month hard to tell because I don't have any period to confirm it. Maybe I'm just a bitch 24/7?
At any rate, I'm kind of ready for hubs to get the snip too, but he is a big fat chicken and I refuse to call. Why should I call?!?! It's his NUTS!
You crack me up!!! Glad I'm not the only one that is happy when it comes!!!
ReplyDeleteNope - no love for it here, has always been the worst part of womanhood for me. Uterus donation? Sign me UP.
ReplyDeleteWait... you're not on birth control, you're just PULLING OUT?! GIRL!!! hahah you need to GET ON THAT! Can't believe you're so risky! :)
ReplyDeleteI like to call it my monthly reminder that everything is a-okay. Otherwise I would consider getting rid of my uterus.
ReplyDeleteBut if you're not using any BC, you should probably consider the snip-snip if you are set with three kids. Don't make me whip out my human sexuality statistics!
hahah! You rock! Im laughing out loud. Who knew you might run faster during ... bring it on , from here on out, I might be happy when it comes too! Glad you dont have an unplanned surprise too and you can enjoy those happy hours! Make that appointment 7 weeks is a while and explains your funk/absence! So glad all is better :)
ReplyDeleteI would say I have a love/hate with it. It is comforting to know I am NOT pregnant but ugh really, the moodiness, breakouts right before and riding the cotton pony get a little old
ReplyDeletehahahahaha I think 3/4 of those thoughts!!!! Mostly the ones about thanking god I am not going to be a mother...yet...also I have found I do run a little faster that week - could be fact or could be the fact that I have so many hormones raging that I bust out killer splits?
ReplyDeleteMine is always a relief as well, even though my hubby got snipped 4 years ago - when our youngest was 6 weeks old. We have met several people that have gotten pregnant even though their hubby was snipped, so it is always a fear of mine.
ReplyDeleteHere is another plus about it - you burn more calories when you have your period, so you can indulge in desert and not feel guilty. Or you can lose more weight if you stick to a diet.
Speaking of TMI (and P.S. I love your period for you), my doctor recommended BeYaz for my period zits and it hasn't worked a darn...making it a very difficult decision to ditch the BC altogehter to get preggers. What's a girl to do? Pregnant is NOT going to be cute for me. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLol- we have been using the "pull and pray" method as well so I'm with you..every month is a gamble. I am being a dumbass too!! Got my appt all set up though so it's all good.
ReplyDeleteVasectomies aren't all that bad. Ask my husband…he's had two! He'll tell you it's the reversals that are a real bitch ;-)
ReplyDeleteI am more and more getting to appreciate my period…now that I am older and it'll go away soon. I want to pass good feelings about it on to my daughters and am starting my pro-period outlook now :)
Hope you're feeling great soon!
all I have to say is I"M GLAD I"M NOT THE ONLY ONE! well said. xx
ReplyDeleteWell, I have no reason to ever worry about getting pregnant, for obvious reasons, so I hate my period. I feel bloated and crampy and I always wish I were born a man when that time of the month rolls around. I break out the week before, so not only am I zitty but I feel fat -- so basically an ugly combination. I wish I had a reason to rejoice each time aunt Flow paid a visit. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you. Especially on the not adding any "unexpected" children to our family... had a recent "scare" myself. Maybe our hubs could go together... we'll take the kids for a run and they can go make sure we don't have any more. ;)
ReplyDeleteI always make big decisions when I'm PMSing. Most of my boyfriends were dropped during that time, I tend to purge our house of things I don't think we need anymore I don't know how many times I've "quit" blogging just because I was feeling "funky" and that I needed a change. :)
I'd be happy if we just had an off button and when we were sure we were done having kids we could switch it off forever. I've been put on the pill for endometriosis and it's awesome. Just three days of what could be described as bleeding but is truly just a slight inconvenience. And no pain!! After years of taking nurofen every 4 hours for 36 hrs, it's a blessing.
ReplyDeleteOde to the period, love it!
ReplyDeleteWell the flowing days aren't my favorite past time in life, but yes I do also feel a sense of relief when it comes. I feel like every month I wait in anticipation for the dang thing to show up wondering some of these same things.
my H had the snip snip so I am all set there. i really could go without having my period. The bitchy, grouchy crazy lady is more than most can take! and the huge zit that I have on my chin right now is grossing my 10 year old out....imagine that .
ReplyDeleteHmm, pull out method...danger, danger. I know some people who got pregnant that way. How about condoms? Easy peasy and make the entire thing last longer, if you know what I mean!
ReplyDeleteI have very easy periods, sometimes I don't even feel like I have them. I could easily do without them, they are useless to me at this point!
You're hilarious. I second the IUD appreciation, and yes, I remember the days when having my period equalled a big sigh of relief.
ReplyDeleteLOL. the period talk is not TMI but #4 probably was...
ReplyDeletebirth control screwed me up - i'm still trying to straighten myself back out and i've been off the pill for a year now.
if only men would just voluntarily have their balls whacked off! why aren't they lining up for that? :)
Well, thankfully aunt flow won't be visiting in a couple weeks for your visit! :)
ReplyDeleteHave you tried the symptothermal method of birth control? I have long and irregular cycles and it works well for me with no hormones. I know, I'm a pharmacist but I don't like to take drugs! Ha! But I will tell you I've done symptothermal for 4 years successfully, and it is a lot easier than it appears (after a year I quit keeping a chart and just keep my head in the game). And as you get used to it you can pretty much cut the abstaining days down to 4 or even fewer per cycle.
ReplyDeleteReally? We run faster with it? Come to think of it I PR'd a half with 'it' but that one went down in flames last fall.
ReplyDeleteMine has never been too big of a hassle but still I'm not a fan.
Hahah. This is so awesome. You just described me so completely. It's so great that you posted about this. I've been THIS close before! Crimson Tide...hahaha!
ReplyDeleteno lost follower here...i do, however, kinda look forward to menopause so i won't have to deal with the crazy lady that invades my brain every month :P
ReplyDeleteHI;-)
ReplyDeleteJust wait til' you're in your late 30's! Woot-woot. Ya get some awesome sweats thrown in there too;-)
and I run my best ~4 days after Aunt Flow
Love this post!! And I'm happy every time my period comes! Good skin for a few days and I think "look, pull out DOES work!"
ReplyDeleteI only recently started "liking" "Martha" - yes that's the name of choice since I got Mirena put in (great for Birth control and less "Martha", but I have a hard time now with wondering why I am SO tired (because I am SO used to associating it with TONS of bleeding for TONS of days of the month) and then I remeber that Mirena doesn't get rid of the hormone stuff it just bascially cuts the bleeding down ALOT for me and acts as a great birth control). Sorry TMI for you and your readers that read your comments too:)
ReplyDeleteWe must email. I just can't post it in a comment. We would have had HOURS more to talk about at that park get-together. Seriously!
ReplyDeleteI bet you have lots and LOTS of hits from readers who aren't commenting today :)...
Not a single guy commented yet...
ReplyDeleteOh, right... Chris K is on a plane to Australia. Once he's online, I am sure he'll have something to add to the convo ;-)
This had me laughing! I could totally do without mine :) My hubs has had the snip snip and I still fret every few months! And I always forget it's coming and feel like I'm losing my mind--then I remember, oh yeah, hormones! I could go on and on, but I'll keep the TMI to a minimum :)
ReplyDelete