On the Rag
Crimson Tide (okay, made that one up)
We have all heard different names for this time on month. Whether you sit on hay in a red tent, wear a diaper-like pad, skip it on purpose, or plug it, most of us are "lucky" enough to experience this little life-flow blessing or womanly "perk" for at least a few years of our time living on this earth.
Okay, so maybe it isn't a "perk" and we don't feel "lucky" and I might be the only one on this earth that actually feels glad when my period comes. Allow me to explain.
Top 10 Reasons Why Aunt Flow is a WELCOMED visitor:
- Totally makes me feel justified for my irrational behavior, emotions and total funk that I find myself in for the
two weeksfew days before.
- I know that I will have at least a week where my 32 year old face won't look like pizza and I won't find a new pimple every day on some part of my body.
- Tells me that I'm NOT going to have a 4th child!!!
- Reminds me to slap myself around and stop being a dumb ass!! The "withdrawl" or "pull-out" method is not an intelligent form of birth control.
- Makes me think I should get off this computer and make an appointment for a little "snip snip" action ASAP so that I am not wondering about that 4th child every month. Are you reading this honey?! It is time! This almost 7 week cycle wasn't so fun!
- I've heard that women actually run faster during this time of the month.
- I can enjoy happy hour with friends without wondering if I'm damaging my potential offspring that wasn't planned.
- Running two marathons in a month takes my already Loooong cycle and makes it even longer...this doesn't lead to a sense of control or peace of mind. Aunt Flow Does give me peace of mind!
- Again, makes me feel like my bitchy, grouchy, lack of interest in anything, no energy, zitty face, and "you you you you and everything around me annoys me" attitude had a purpose. Stupid hormones!
- All the hard parts of my hormonal 30's come before the period...the cramps, cravings, bloatings, "you looked at me funny so I want to cry or kick you" moments, zits,etc. Once it is here, all is well again...for at least two weeks!
Am I the only one that actually likes having a period or finds it to be comforting? How many followers did I just lose for writing about my period?