Friday, August 23, 2013

Motherhood Tantrums. We All Have Them.

picture source

Why is it...
that when we are really losing our shit as REALLY throwing a huge mommy tantrum where we are setting every possible bad example for our kids...every example of HOW NOT TO ACT when you don't get your way... it's like our real self, our higher self, is sitting inside  looking out at the storm, shaking the head with a "tsk tsk tsk" knowing full and well what a complete and ridiculous ass of a mom we are being,

Slamming of doors
Huffing and Puffing
Crying over a broken vase (an accident)
Wearing the puckered up, wrinkled eyebrow Cry Face (so glad nobody was filming me).
Demanding that my house stop being taken apart as soon as they get home from school even though   they are clearly using their imaginations.
Being completely unreasonable about the couch cushions being taken off to be used as a fort.

A dust of angry Mom Storm.

And through all of it, I'm fully aware of myself and what I SHOULD do.  I know that I'm an exemplifying the opposite of every "good parenting behavior" I've read about in all those stupid mom books (okay, so not stupid).  I know that I'll have to apologize later for this mommy meltdown.  I'm aware that I'm giving new meaning to OVERREACTING.


Until I'm done, I feel better, and all three kids are hiding in their room writing "sorry" notes.  I'm wondering if they are writing the "sorry" notes because they really feel bad or because they know that these notes are just the perfect thing to make me FEEL AWFUL about my bad mom fit. Or maybe a bit of both.

Either way,
It all ends okay.

  • Kids say sorry,
  • Mom cleans up glass while bitching about how she can never have anything nice in this house because kids break everything.
  • Mom says sorry and turns the whole thing into a teachable (laughable) moment on how not to act.
  • Kids forgive.
  • Mom forgives.
  • Kids go back to their harmless and imaginative mess making while turning their bedrooms into miniature houses fully equipped with kitchen (including plates, food, and silverware), couch cushions for the couch, and who knows what else.  
  • I've removed myself from the situation, given up the idea of a clean and organized house (why did I even attempt such things?!) and decided to put myself outside in a time out and blog (VENT) on the front porch.  I'll deal with the mess later and pretend that they are the ones cleaning it up.  
Gosh, it sure sucks when we reach these rope ends of motherhood.  When we lose our shit.  Blow our tops.  Act like small children that need a nap and ate too much candy.  

But even though it sucks, we all need to have moments where we blow off some steam, act a little ridiculous, laugh about it afterwards and then not beat ourselves up about it because:

  1. Motherhood is HARD
  2. Throwing a fit feels GOOD sometimes
  3. Our kids are better off in the long run if they get to see that life and people are full of imperfection.  It's good for them to see their parents lose it and act a little nuts at times (within reason).  And it's good for them to see how we respond AFTER our bad behavior...when we come back and say "Gee kids, Mom really acted a little crazy here.  I'm sorry, I guess I'm just having a bad day.  Will you forgive me?"  
Oh, and the longer I am lucky enough to enjoy this Motherhood gig,
so darn thankful 

Bring on the long run!  14 miles tomorrow will do the trick. Then I'll be too tired to throw any huge Mommy Fits.  Or maybe not.  

Happy Friday,


  1. I love that you said our kids are better off knowing we're full of imperfections. Goodness, this has been a week of mommy "imperfections".

    1. Amen! We're all in this together. Gosh, I'm glad I don't live in a family where we as parents only show our kids a perfect happy smiling face while we hold all our shit inside. Life...the real world...isn't like that! The kids that grow up in families where they never see any imperfection modeled are SCREWED!

  2. I still have moments like that even though my kids are big. There are still things they do that drive me to distraction and show me that the work I do is not respected. If I've just spent a couple of hours cleaning the house it just drives me insane that it gets messed up behind me. Running is definitely a sanity saver.

    1. No JOKE! They think we just sit around all day and do nothing. And then welcome them to just unload their "trail" of

  3. I have 14 miles too! This post is the truth! My kids are back in school, so my patience is a little better. I can SO relate to this though!

    1. Thanks girl. Yes, my patience is a bit better after last week. :)

  4. So well said! I am looking forward to my 12 tomorrow too! What do moms do who don't run?!

  5. Oh man. I do the same thing, right down to the little me in my head watching in disbelief.

    Pretty sure it's called being human.

    Excellent point about kids seeing that life is imperfect.

  6. *SIGH* Thanks! I'm actually just getting over a similar motherhood tantrum of my own. Definitely needed to read this. Helps to know it's not just me, but I still feel bad about acting like a kid. I guess I should probably go and apologize now.

    1. We are not alone! Did you apologize? Not always necessary but sometimes nice.

  7. Running is so good for mommy-hood. I used to go out for only 2 miles pre-kids. It slowly increased over the years. LOL!

    1. Yes, I can see how the miles increase with every kid. ha!

  8. I'm not a mommy yet, but hope to be one someday soon. However, I often see the parallels of being a teacher with being a mom. (I realize moms have a much harder job, though.) My first few years, I tried to be perfect. Heaven forbid the kids see me make a mistake. I found that once they saw a mistake, AND saw that I was able to say "sorry" and admit being in the wrong, we had a SOOO much closer class. It really pulled us together as a little family. And kids DO learn from our behaviors. It's important for them to know that none of us are perfect, but it's how we handle those imperfections that matter. You rock, Amanda!

    1. Thanks Rebecca. Yes, lots of parallels. Different but definitely some similarities. I hope you DO have kids soon! How exciting to think about.

  9. So true. Thank you for sharing the honest parts of parenthood, not just the shiny happy parts. (Though those are fun to read too!) Hope you had a great run!

    1. Ah, thanks. It was a Run. Kind of crappy at the end actually.

  10. Yep... we all have them! I love that you said something that so many of us hide for fear of being called out! Way to be real! I have mommy tantrums ALL.THE.TIME!

    1. Thanks Michele. REAL is so freeing. I get way too much anxiety when I try to hide the real!

  11. I can't even count how many times I've done the exact thing you described - and then felt completely awful. Ugh - I never knew how hard it would be to be a mom!! Like you said - good thing we have running to help!!

  12. I have had a lot of these lately trying to pack and move and work!!!
    I can relate to every bit of this post:(

  13. Amen, sister! Did you come to my house recently and not tell me you were watching through the windows! Mommy tantrums happen. I hate that my mind is rationally telling me that this is not the right way to handle the situation. To stop mid scream and redirect my approach, but I can't ever stop it. Thanks for relating to all of us moms with a dose of reality!