Bikini Ready? Graston? Laser? Verbal Filter? Oh My!

"It's only awkward if you make it that way." I've heard this a lot in my life.  The only problem is that I do make things awkward.  So much of my life is lived awkwardly. In a good way.  The thing is, I'm just being normal old Amanda.  I say what I think, laugh at things that might not really be that funny to anyone else, and say things that many might consider to be inappropriate.  I can be quite impulsive and most people would agree that "verbal filter" and "Amanda" are NOT words that go together.  I like to think of myself as endearing and candid. Refreshing even.  Ha!  


I guess today was one of those situations that I made awkward.  For pretty much the entire chiropractic clinic.  You see, I went in to get my buns checked out since I've been having a lot of pain lately in my lower left buns/upper hammy.  I've also felt a fair amount of pain in my pelvic bone area when I wake up in the mornings.  I've been through this drill before...going to the sports chiropractor.  


What I expected:

• Stim therapy and ultrasound
• Probably some painful Graston therapy
• Maybe some marching in place and mild adjustments

To prepare, I did the usual:

• Wore short shorts under my pants
• Shaved my legs
• Made sure I was wearing clean socks and/or had my toenails trimmed...you know, the usual "I care what people think" side to Amanda.  I like to think of it as courtesy.  

What I didn't think of doing:  

• Trim the Bikini area.  (UM , Because it is January.  It isn't bikini season.  I don't feel like I have to be trim and fabulously sexy down there for my husband.  I've been married for 8 years...I'm not single and on the market...landscaping is not on the top of my priorities!)    

Note:  Now before you let your imaginations run away with you, I'm not a sasquatch by any means.  I actually would be just fine in a bikini right now.  I just like to make things awkward remember? Like right now.  In telling you this. And I really don't even care that much.  


So, when my doc told me that I had an abdominal strain in addition to a hamstring strain and he would need to do some laser therapy in addition to some graston therapy (a.ka torture) on my pelvic region, the first thing I thought about was:


"Holy Heck!  What is the state of my BEAV right now?!  I mean, really?!!  I didn't think I'd have to be bikini ready. How embarrassing!"  Okay, so a little vain maybe.  


Most normal people would leave it at that.  The internal dialogue.  But not me.  I lack that filter remember?  So, in typical Amanda fashion, I say something like:


"Wow, I didn't think I'd need to be ready for bikini season.  I've been married for 8 years after all.  I'm not single and on the market. Gee....blah blah blah."  Yup. Pretty awkward on my part.  


Doc:  "I didn't think I'd need to hire an arborist!  I'll get one of the girls to do your laser therapy."  As he leaves I hear laughter among the clinic workers.  Yes, that would be that weirdo filter-lacking, emotionally unstable (when I tore my hammy completely a year or so ago, I was just a tad distraught) lady.  Again, I'd like to think that they love me for this. I certainly provide them with someone to make fun of later...this beats working in a boring clinic all day with boring normal people that control their inner thoughts and emotions, right?!  


So then Amanda was done talking about her Beav.  That was that.  Right?  Wrong.  I then proceeded to chat it up with every other person that came into tape me and do my ultrasound/stim therapy.  All this talk and it really wasn't even bad at all.


Note to self:  "Nobody cares about your untidy trim job Amanda!  And nobody wants to hear you talk about how long you've been married and the fact that it isn't bikini season.  Nobody cares.  AWKWARD!"  


Good News:  

• I'm done with my awkward appointment.
• My beav is really only small steps away from walking out on the white sands of Hawaii.  
• I caught this before it got too bad.  I just have to take it easy for a week or so and continue therapy.
• My 2 year old son sat through 1 1/2 hours of clinic time.  I am so proud of him.  Definitely required some "mommy tricks" on my part so I'm proud of myself too!
• Even though I can't run 70 miles this week (or shouldn't), I can still run easy miles and 50 miles this week is better than NOTHING!  :)  

Bad News:

• No racing this weekend as I had secretly planned.  Was determined to have a good race and run that 41 something 10k like I know I can do.  But now I know one reason why things have been so hard for me...my body isn't working right for a reason! 
• Graston therapy hurts like a _____ (you fill in the blank).  I will have bruises all over!  Good thing it isn't bikini season!

Do you make things awkward for yourself?  What is a most embarrassing moment for you?  This wasn't embarrassing for me.  Just a typical day in the life of Amanda.  :)  I have many many embarrassing moments though.  

Amanda