Bend Half Marathon. And Fall Marathon Chosen!

Definitely in my top 5 favorite race medals!  Add this race to your list of destination races! 

I've kind of fallen off the wagon again with this Project Begin Again.  I don't even know what day I'm on at this point.  Let me check... Ok, so today would be day 29.  I skipped days 27 and 28.  But who is counting besides me?  Nobody.  

I ran the Bend Half Marathon today.  I figured it was time to run a local race even if I wasn't specifically training for said race.  These kinds of races end up being good workouts as well as giving me a good idea of where I'm at fitness-wise (today was humbling).  Why did I even sign up for this?  Right before I registered, I had just come back from a trail run and decided to hop on the treadmill for some repeat 800's --one of my random attempts to get some sort of speed work into my non-plan for a 50k I'm running in two weeks (a non plan that will likely backfire).   When I started running on the treadmill, my incline was only at 1% so it felt pretty easy compared to the trail hills I was running moments before.  After 800, I didn't want to stop so I sped it up and kept going.  Each 800 felt great so I kept running and speeding up until I ran a 5k in 20:20 and still didn't want to stop!  In fact, it felt relatively easy! I've never had a 20:xx 5k feel easy.  Granted it was on a treadmill so not the same as a road 5k but still... This made me feel really happy considering I've never got my mind to cooperate to break 20 minutes in the 5k no matter how much I've trained and on this day I felt like I could no problem.  I took my excitement, bottled it up, and registered for a half marathon before I changed my mind.  My plan was to actually continue in weekly speed work and a more structured plan so that by the time I ran the half marathon, I'd be able to do more than hang in there. That kind of happened?  Maybe every other week.  As the weeks went by, I knew I'd be running this race for more of a fun workout.  Ok, after today, you can take out the word fun! Ha!  Or fun in a hard work kind of way.  I'll save the long wordy recap and switch to some bullet points:  

I'm not sure an elevation map ever really does a course justice.  All I know is that going from mile 3 to 4 was tough and got my heart beating quite hard.  Then miles 8 to 11 made me want to turn the wrong direction and run home. 

This picture makes me laugh!!  Corie caught a shot of nubby.  My broken Garmin that I held in my fingers the whole time. ha ha.  I did, however, order a new Garmin that will arrive in the mail before my 50k (HOPEFULLY).  Not that I will care about pace on my 50k but I will like knowing distance when I'm out there in middle of nowhere with miles to go! 

One of my favorite race shirts!  At first I thought it would be another tech shirt that I'd toss in a drawer or box never to wear again.  BUT... I love this one!  I love how unique to Bend it is.  And it's comfy because I ordered it in a medium instead of my usual small so it has more of a baggy fit...nice for a change.  

• I pushed hard at the end.  

• The first part felt good and easy enough even though the hills at mile 4ish were brutal IMO!  Seeing my friend Lori at mile 4ish made me happy.  What a beautiful smile she has and she's ALWAYS encouraging!  So glad she came into my life.  ;) 

• This was a hard course!  It felt really hard by the end.  There were many women ahead of me and I know some of them were in darn good shape.  The winning woman didn't break 1:30.  This says something about the course for sure!  I don't remember the last time I ran a destination/popular (even though only second annual) half marathon like this where the winning woman wasn't in at least somewhere in the 1:2x range.  Considering this and where I'm at with running right now, I feel darn proud of my 1:43. In fact, at the start, my friend Corie and Shelley were there with me.  When we talked about what we wanted for this run considering our fitness,  I said I'd be happy with a sub 1:45. Last year at this time, I ran in a half marathon after Boston as part of my 50k training when I was actually following a plan.  I ran a 1:37 and it felt good.  Today, my 1:45 was way more work!

• The end of the race was uphill for a bit.  The loooooongest .1 I have ever run.  But I out kicked a girl who was wearing a Oiselle shirt.  Ok, so it doesn't matter what shirt she was wearing but her bird and FLY on the back of her shirt was a good focal point.  Even though I got passed by at least 7 women in the second half of the race (totally bonking), passing this one girl in the last little bit made me feel like I pushed myself till the end.  I did.  No, it wasn't about racing but it was about doing my best today and meeting myself where I am right now. A hard workout that I will draw on in the months to come!  Having others in the race with us can be motivating in helping us dig deep.  I think we push and pull each other.  Even though I have no idea who she was, having her in sight for that last mile definitely kept me going.  

• One of the things I kept reminding myself during this run was to run my own race.  To not let what others were running or what I've run in the past make me feel defeated or discouraged today.  I kept my talk positive even when I wanted to throw up and turn left at mile 10ish to run the 2 miles home to my house.  

• My splits: 7:30, 7:15, 7:35, 7:50, 7:28, 7:49, 7:24, 7:46, 8:17, 8:22, 8:07, 7:51, 7:22.  If I really do see this as a training run like I had in mind (def not a goal race), then I feel really happy with my run today!  This was a solid threshold endurance run!  yes yes.  It makes me excited to start following a plan again. 

• You know, a big part of following a plan or training for a marathon or half marathon or whatever... is the PROCESS  it takes to get to the race day.  I miss this.  It feels like a long time since I've had a plan on paper to hold me accountable.  

• Next year if I do this again, I hope to get sleep.  I did't get more than 2 hours of sleep due to some unexpected events last night.  ARG! But I'm glad I went anyway.  

• My pelvis aches right now!  Pretty sure my body was shocked to pound pavement for so long after mainly running on dirt trails at a much slower pace this last year! Also, pretty sure I need new shoes. 

• My impromptu training partner and friend Corie.. so thankful of her!! Such a safe friend.  A friend who is always full of encouragement and understanding.  We are in very similar ranges when it comes to running so I think we make compatible partners when we do train together.  I think we are mentally compatible too.  She gets me.  She understands seasons with life and running and goals.  She knows what it feels like to be in a place with running (for her, biking and swimming too since she's an Ironman) that's different from the past.  And she knows those whiffs of desire to get back in the fitness we know we can be in and the work it will take to get there.  She's good for me like this.  Today, after the race, we chatted for a bit by the trash can I was sticking close to in case of hurling.  We both felt exhausted, happy for the strong workout, proud that we put ourselves out there, and mutually aware of where we are and where we want to be again on a fitness level.  I think having friends like this and goals to work towards makes the other parts of our lives more energized.  I also know that the seasons where we don't train for or work towards any big goals are good for us too!  I'm ready for a goal again.  :)  

• Proud of my friend Shelley who busted out a 1:37 on this course after recovering from injury, wrist surgery and having so much travel that really hasn't allowed her to train.  She's in a good place to start again too!  She's got some wheels!  

• My friend Angie had a goal to run sub 2 hours today.  She did it!  1:58 and on this course.  I'm proud of her.  And really glad she's going to be one of the gymnastics moms I will get to travel with this next year.  

• Would I recommend this race?  Absolutely!  Very nicely done!  It was crap weather today but usually, I would expect this weekend to be gorgeous and not cold and rainy.  I blame all the people from Portland who came down  here.  It's a hard course but a well earned medal.  Best shirts and medals I've seen in awhile too!  Well done Bend Marathon.  

Fall Marathon

I've decided on a fall marathon.  My first Fall Marathon!  As I kind of mentioned above, after a stretch of very loosely training or willy nilly running, I'm ready to follow a more scheduled by-the-book plan again.  I'm not saying I necessarily need or want to go for a hefty time goal but I at least want to put in the work that it would take to run a faster time than I would if I tried to race a marathon today!  My last marathon was Boston 2015 in 3:28.  My PR doesn't really count anymore since it was in 2004 for my first marathon with a time of 3:22.  Other than that, I guess my PR would be 3:24.  If anything, I'd be happy to run in that range again.  

Long ramble shorter, after reading some less than stellar reviews of the Portland Marathon, I've decided to run Twin Cities Marathon on October 9th!  I'm so excited!!  Same day as Portland.  Same Price.  But way better reviews.  And a race I've wanted to run for awhile now.  The biggest reason of all?  My dear friend Jenn is running it too and I will get to see her again!  And what a great place to meet up for a girl weekend.  A beautiful time of year in cities I love with a friend who is truly family to me.

So much in this post.  I'm hoping to get back to an easy gratitude and intentions post next time because I miss the positive energy it gives my life!  In the meantime, I'm out of time!  

Happy Sunday!
Amanda

Day 25 and 26. Portland Marathon? And a Nubby Garmin.

Almost exactly a year ago.  I ran the road half marathon version of the 50k I will be running this year: The Smith Rock Half Marathon (my review and race recap in link).  This was as part of my 50k training for the Trail Factor 50k and after the Boston Marathon so I was so happy with my 1:37 and an age group award! Great way to kick off Mother's Day! This year I will be back to Smith Rock for the Smith Rock 50k!  

I'm so tired.  It isn't even 10pm yet and I only want to crawl into my bed and crash!  But I'm determined to stick with this daily blogging even though I do miss a few days here and there.  Yesterday I skipped intentionally...  because honestly, I wasn't ready to write another post after my amazing day 24.  I wanted the joy and high from that day to last as long as possible. And something about keeping day 24's post at the top of my blog for an extra day made me happy.  I'm still smiling about our mountain adventures.  

I'll start this post with something I wrote today on my Runninghood Facebook page after my run because it had me smiling today.  True story. Awkward too. Note to self: Never trust a butt scratch or wedgie pick on a run unless you know for sure that nobody is behind you.  Otherwise, own the said butt scratch/wedgie pick and run on!  Don't make it awkward by pretending to look at your rear/back of legs for a potential bug bite from a bug that doesn't exist.  Who really cares who saw you?  

"You know, that time you're running out on what you think is a pretty private road... You feel like it's a good time to scratch your butt and pick the wedgie that's been bugging you for a couple miles. Then you realize there's a car driving very slow and quiet right behind you (so as to not scare you when they pass, I guess). You're kind of embarrassed that someone saw you. To make matters more awkward (because I'm always awkward), you pretend to be looking at what could be a bug bite on the back of your legs (as if you were really just trying to get a big bug that might have crawled into your butt) as the said car passes and so you don't have to wave or make eye contact. Then, just to make sure the driver in car really fell for your bug bite theatrics, you look up in the air at your pretend bug flying away and you shoo your hands to brush off any other bugs that might be flying around and take one final look at the nonexistent bug bite on the back of your leg. ‪#‎runnerproblems‬ ‪#‎runchat‬ ‪#‎womensrunning‬"

I feel like I have a ton of stuff floating through my mind.  Lots I could blog about right now.  So, for the sake of time, I think I'm going to go with my trusty friends:  Bullet Points.  

• I ran 8 miles today.  My route was a mix of trails and road but mostly road.  I've really been loving the change up lately. As much as I love my trails, I've been enjoying getting out on roads where I can track my pace a bit more.  This gives me a good idea of where my fitness is. Yesterday, before I could get out on my run, I got called in to teach so I fit in what I could.  I had time for 3.5 mile run  and did it in around a 7:40 average pace.  Nothing special in the big scheme of my running but it felt energizing and GOOD!  Not super easy but not hard either.  I was a sweaty happy mess and finished wanting more.  Today's normal feel 8 miler was around 8:15 average and was consistent.  Tomorrow I will return to my mountain trails UNTIMED. A good mix this week.  Yay!
• My 50k trail race is in something like 12 days!!!  What?!  It's a hard course too.  I'm a little scared because I feel so less prepared than I ever have been going into a race like this.  I've only run one other 50k but with that one I had some really great endurance runs under my belt.  Boston 2015 was one of them.  This time, I'm going to be much slower.  That's ok.  I'll hike lots of portions and run what I can. And then dig way down deep to finish!!  
• My Garmin is a pathetic stub without any band.  The original band broke on both my Garmin and my husband's and I can't figure out how to get the stupid new one on without losing my mind.  An old blog friend/Instagram follower even sent me a special tool with a band replacement and I can't figure it out.  Seriously, I think they make them this way... to break after a certain time so that people will end up buying a new one even though the old one works quite well from a mechanical standpoint. The same is true with every basic Timex Ironman watch I buy.  I'm a practical, cheap minimalist when it comes to running.  I don't care how stupid I look carrying my broken Garmin (or what my outfit looks like when I'm training...Ok, I kind of care).  However, I DO care that my fingers start to hurt from awkwardly holding my Garmin without a band.  Grrr.  So, it's either find a way to rig up a new band, get the new band on, or buy a new one.  
• I'm going to run a half marathon this weekend for fun.  I'm NOT by any stretch in race half marathon shape but I think this will be fun!  I think it will be good for me to take my nubby band-less Garmin and push myself a tad for a good effort half marathon.  Which might mean barely breaking 8 min miles knowing where I'm at right now.  But it might also mean running slower or faster.  I know I won't be running under 7:30 pace, that's for sure!  
• I'm considering registering for the Portland Marathon that is in October!  I've never run a fall marathon.  Mostly because training in the summer is harder for with since I've always had young kids who are off school, I've never been much of an early morning runner (ok, not at all when it comes to super early), and waiting till the evening to run in the summer can be hard because of heat, family stuff, etc.  My kids are older now and I think this just might be a good summer to train!  I've got the desire creeping back in!!   I'm excited to feel excited about training more seriously again.  I'm excited about shooting for a goal even if my main benefit is the process in getting to race day!  Oh, and my friend Jenn is running Twin Cities Marathon on the SAME day so we'd kind of be running together!!  :)  That would be special in itself! 
• I've paid for the Portland Marathon once back in 2010 when I had decided I wanted to run a marathon again after having kids.  I wanted to go back to Boston and this was going to be my qualifying race.  BUT life had other plans and I tripped in forest park and tore my hamstring completely at mile 9 of an 18 miler.  My first serious injury even after competing through high school and college.  Ugh!  I was so sad. However, it was this injury that led to being really sad and frustrated that led me to start this blog Runninghood!!  I started it at a time I was dreaming big and determined to get back to running so I had something for myself after giving up my career to be home with my three littles.  So glad I started Runninghood.  
• I had a meeting tonight about my oldest daughter moving up to the competitive team for her sport.  It's going to be expensive and a big time commitment for sure but I'm feeling really excited for her! I think having this opportunity to be on a team is an experience that will carry over to her life in so many positive ways.  She gets to grow in camaraderie with her teammates, build character, work work hard for goals, have something to be proud of, and so much more.  Plus I like the parents I'll be spending so much time with over the years and I love their kids! After the meeting I had a really good conversation with her and we both agreed that if we do this, we do it together and she needs to really want it.  She will contribute or "Pay" for it by working hard and doing her best as a student, athlete, and the overall loving human being she is. And babysitting for free when we ask.  :) Score!  This won't be hard for her because she already works so hard and has such a good attitude.  I have no doubts she will continue to live whole heartedly.  Proud of her.  Proud of all my kids.  Love being their mother.  
• I'm feeling so grateful right now.  My heart is full.  I feel energized and ready to dream big again.  I also feel HOME more than I have since moving here almost 2 years ago.  It's taken awhile and that is due to many things but today, I can honestly say I have a root system and my whole self is feeling the nourishment!  Life. is. beautiful.  

As for my typical Project Begin Again posts?  You know, I think the whole point of this project was to begin again so I would want to blog again.  It was a way to jumpstart my writing.  Now that it has been fired up, I'm going to go with it and blog whatever I feel like.  If I can't think of something or if I'm dragging and I'm trying to continue to do this for 38 days, then I will revert to my gratitude, intentions and be the change.  I'm not up for writing more tonight so I'll end here.  

For any of you that do still read this and know anything about the Portland Marathon, please tell me about it.  Have you raced it?  Do you like the course?  Do you know someone who has raced it? 

Oh, and anyone have any luck changing the band on your Garmin??  So hard!  Any tricks?  

What's Up? Running, Parenting, Life: Goals and Happenings

Running
Training for my May 50k and Boston started this week.  I'm excited to be more focused about my running, goals, and fitness.  With this comes more intention with my diet, strength work, and stretching/rolling/maintenance.  These are things I should have in mind year round but they become all the more important when I'm asking more from my body physically.  My training this time around will be different in many ways. Just a few differences from the past:

1. Most my runs will be on trails
2. Less focus on specific times and more focus on effort
3. At least 2/3 of my runs will be without my Garmin.  I'd like to run based off effort and feel.  
4. Less focus on a goal time and more focus on my experience and what I'm getting from running overall.  I want to run strong in my races but not make it all about a PR on the clock this time.  
5. The plan so far is for Boston to be a training run, not a race where I race all out.  
6. Race without a Garmin!  I want Boston to be about feel and the overall experience without letting my Garmin tell me what I should and shouldn't be running for each mile.  I'm sick of looking down at my wrist every mile.  For Christmas, I asked for a good old Ironman Timex watch just like I used to have.  
7. Less mileage and speed work and more back to back endurance runs. 

As of now, my plan is to use a basic plan from Relentless Forward Progress where my mileage will be up to 50 miles a week.  In the past I've run between 55 to 65 miles as my general average (my highest weekly mileage at 85...this was too much for me).  I think a lower mileage will be just fine for my goals. I will also pull one faster paced workout per week from Advanced Marathoning.  This will alternate between tempo and vo2max work.  If I'm feeling strong, I might do two a week or incorporate some of the threshold work into a longer run.  It's hard to judge pace on the trails (one reason for no Garmin on most runs) but I'd still like 8 min pace to come easy and natural for me when running on flat.  The other day I did take the Garmin out to see where I was with this and high 7s/low 8s felt just right like they should at this point after building a base. I'll still be keeping a training journal but this time I'm trying out the Believe Journal.  I love so much about this book...the feel, format, font...all of it is inspiring!  I can tell a lot of passion went into putting this journal together.  

I've always kept a training journal in just an ordinarynotebook. This has worked great for me and led to growth and opportunities to reflect, dream, be my best self...my journals are treasures!  Now that training mode is starting again, I'm excited to start digging into this beauty!  Just from my first flip, I love what I see.  It makes me itch to put pen to paper and start writing my goals and plans!  From font to format to feel, it is well composed/compiled!  

Parenting

We are definitely in a different stage with our kids now that they are well within 9, 7, 5.  One of our main things we are wanting to be intentional with is helping our kids continue to take responsibility and ownership over their learning, family contributions, and daily tasks.  We also want them to learn about the value and management of money.  We want to incorporate an allowance into family life but we don't want it to just be about paying them to do things they should already be doing as contributing members of this family.  So, last night we had our family meeting and came up with a list of family contributions and things we want them to do weekly.  We also discussed the difference between getting paid out of reward vs. an opportunity to learn about money while still meeting their family expectations and contributions. We set a dollar amount that we will give them monthly and as long as they are keeping up with their end of the deal, they get their full amount.  It isn't much at all but we are hopeful that this will teach them about saving, giving, and spending!  This is new to us so we are still finding our way and will see how it all unfolds.  Some of their family contributions and expectations (nothing really new):

• Keeping their rooms clean.  Not perfect (goodness knows mine isn't perfect!) but picked up at least once a week where they make it look clean and tidy.  
• Picking their stuff up from the downstairs and keeping their things where they belong.  
• Doing chores willingly as asked.
• RESPECT to each other! With tone of voice and actions.
• Read daily.  This should be a fun habit for them.  They can read whatever they want but we do expect this habit to be in place. 
• Writing.  We recently started asking our older kids to keep a journal.  The older kids are expected to write two pages a week.  One page is just whatever they want to write.  Again, this can be fun.  A story, rant, letter, poem, list, writing about their day or week or something they are excited about.  Their second page is a list of gratitude.  The goal here is to help them practice some habits that we feel can be beneficial to their lives.  The gratitude lists is self explanatory and we hope they will learn to recognize more things in their ordinary life to be grateful for as they begin this routine.  We've done this before but in the past we have had a family gratitude journal. As for the free write entry, we want this to be a way that they can get more fluid with their writing as well as be more reflective.  Maybe this habit/routine won't last and maybe it will.  For now, the girls have actually had fun with it the last month and they are picking it up on their own without having to be reminded.  

Life

I continue to work on adjusting to life in Bend, OR.  We've only been here since August so I can't expect it to feel completely normal just yet.  Slowly but surely.  The best thing (hands down!) about our home here are the miles and miles of trails outside my door.  I'm beyond grateful for this.  My biggest struggle in life at this time is COMPARISON and letting go.  Not comparison to others but comparison to what I had (and LOVED) in Asheville.  I've been quite stuck some days.  Missing and longing instead of moving on and giving my full energy to making THIS chapter a beautiful one.  So, I'm really working hard on this:  Moving forward with CONTENTMENT and gratitude.  I'm quite positive that when I open my heart and mind and truly give of myself here, I will find community, home, and connection.  So, the walls are coming down and I'm making it a priority to practice gratitude and positive thinking.  

Some personal goals:  

• Let go of the expectations of how it's supposed to be and embrace what it is.
• Instead of seeing all the things I'm not doing/accomplishing, feel good about what IS being done and what I can still do.  One thing at a time!
• Break things into smaller chunks.
• Do what I'm doing because I find meaning in it.  NOT because others are doing it or because I think it's what I'm supposed to do.  
• Get rid of comparison. Comparison to others or to my past self/life.  Comparison kills joy.
• Use my love language: Give and love in the ways that come naturally.  For me, this is through words of affirmation: letters, texts, conversation...full attention.  
• Slow down and make the time count.  
• Give my kids and husband my FULL attention at least once a day.  It doesn't have to be long to count. 
• Uplift, support, and love.  

Amanda

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Running Talk: Long Run, Marathon Plans, and Strength Work (natural butt lifter)

I woke up this morning with that tight and kind of sore feeling in my body from doing some strength work yesterday.  I've been trying to add some sort of strength circuit work into my week.  Sometimes it means breaking it up into shorter workouts over multiple days but I'm sticking to my goal and my body is happier for it--at least it's looking more defined.  It's not all about the definition though--it's about being stronger! Stronger = healthier body for running.  The ab, arm and leg definition is nice too!  Ha!  Especially the slight butt lift from the squats and lunges.

After the NYC Marathon this weekend, emceeing the Happy Girls Half and 5k, and starting to read about people's fall marathon training starting, I opened my eyes today with a bit of a marathon training itch. A very subtle itch but stronger than my desire yesterday and over the past weeks.  This is a good thing since I'm pretty sure I'll be in Boston in April to run the marathon.  Having the DESIRE to at least put in the mileage that it takes to run a marathon (and not hurt yourself) makes a huge difference.  Desire...Motivation..Drive...this is a HUGE piece of the puzzle when it comes to training for a marathon.  Glad to smell that desire just a bit more today.  I hope it grows!

Long Run Tuesday
Speaking of long runs and marathons, I'm heading out there today for a long run. Long run for me right now will be anything over 10-12 miles.  I'd like to shoot for 13.1.  Why not? Then I can say I ran a half marathon today.  I might die though.  Instead of making it all trail, I actually want to get out on a flatter stretch of road for a change.  I want some sort of time test (even just a 2-3 mile tempoish portion of my run) to let me know where I'm at with running fitness.  Gaging my time on the trails just doesn't work for accuracy.  I'm not sure what to expect with pace since I don't pay much attention to it anymore.  I know I won't be finding 7:30 pace easy right now but I certainly hope for some 7:40s to 7:50s when I try to pick up the pace and focus on form.  I predict my base easy pace on road right now would fall somewhere between 8:00 -8:30 pace at this point.  But really, I don't know.  We'll see today!

What I'm most excited about for running longer today:

• Time to think and get some ideas flowing
• Endorphins and Energy
• Inspiration
• Help with building endurance base
• That overall tired but satisfied feeling that can't quite come from anything else

Post Run Picture (added later of course):  

Yes yes yes to a Tuesday Half Marathon Run!  First 5 miles on river trail and rest on road for a change.  Mostly easy with some faster (for me right now) miles in middle and a pick up at very end.  Add on about 1:30  to make up for a few 30 second stops to stretch (and breathe between pick ups..ha!)  Woowee, a 7:2x mile doesn't feel like it did in spring!  Slowly but surely!  So thankful for running and endorphins!  8:04; 8:34; 8:33; 8:28; 8:46; 8:17; 7:26; 7:23; 7:53; 8:11; 8:22; 8:16; 7:54; 7:39 for last little bit.  

Marathon Plans

I'm still flipping through books trying to decide on a plan for marathon training.  Right now, Pete Pfitzinger's 18 week Advanced Marathoning plan is at the top of my list.  I've also heard from some of you about the Greg McMillan plan.  And a few of you have emailed about the Hanson plan--not sure what to think about this one.  I think no matter what plan I go with, I will tailor it to me and I will follow it loosely.  Byron Powell, author of Relentless Forward Progress, also has a loose plan (mostly about logging mileage) for ultra marathon training.  So, that is the other one on the table.  The final option is just to log 50ish miles a week and make my own plan up as I go as long as I'm remembering to have a long run and some tempo/faster paced/marathon paced stuff in the mix.  After 20 plus years of running and racing, I think I'd be just fine with an Amanda Plan!  I have plenty of time to mull over these options and even stay open to others  It's only November!  

Next Post:

Much to say in the next post about how being an emcee for a race changed my perspective about a few things.  It definitely gave me an entirely new window from which to see the FINISH LINE.  Wow.  I left inspired and energized by each and every finisher that crossed the line (all 4 plus hours of the half marathon).  There were some especially cool stories and moments from the day... a team running in honor of their friend/wife/mom that died this year, a familiar name and Runninghood friend/reader that came to say hello (she's all the way from MN!),  seeing moms in the community that I know from school, watching little kids run up to their moms to run them in... and lots more!  Excited to write about it.  

Okay, about that long(er) run!  I'm heading out.  I'm still new to Bend so here's to finding a good piece of road to explore.  

1.  I'm still open to hearing your input about marathon plans you'd recommend.  
2.  What's your "LONG RUN" distance right now?  
3.  Do you prefer training for races:
a). Year- round (always want to have something on your race calendar to keep you going)
b).Summer (for a fall race)
c). Fall/Winter (for a spring race)
d). None of the above.  I just like to run to run without an specific training.

Amanda

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Relentless Forward Progress

Relentless Forward Progress.  

What a great name for a book! What a great string of words, period. Relentless Forward Progress. This  sums up so much of what it's about to live life: continuing to move forward from where we are and make progress one step at a time.  Hope. Finding things to work on and be intentional about so we can keep making our life what we want it to be.  Small steps.  Big steps.  Daring leaps of possibility.  This is one of the things I love so much about running and training for marathons (and maybe soon to be ultramarathons).  We start where we are and we keep moving forward with progress.  Running is a metaphor for life.  Sometimes we train for a big goal where we push our limits and sometimes we run to be with ourselves and do something that brings joy.  No matter why or how we run, it adds an element to our living that keeps us striving for more... health, life, possibility, energy....  I truly think that running is one thing that helps us be the best possible version of ourselves.   

Relentless Forward Progress is the next book on my reading list as far as running books go.  Up until now, ultrarunning isn't something that I've had a deep desire to try. And I'm still not entirely sold.  In fact, I've often said that the marathon is the longest distance I would ever want to run.  When my husband read Born to Run a few years ago, he started talking about his desire to run an ultra and I just rolled my eyes and said how ridiculous that sounded.  Of course he usually brought it up right after I finished a marathon and I was still in the stage of thinking I never wanted to run that long ever again.  I remember him asking me if I would ever want to run the last 30 miles of a 100 mile race with him.  I thought he was nuts!  30 miles?!  26.2 is plenty long enough!!  Funny how time changes things.  I think I'm finally at a place in my life where running a trail ultra sounds kind of fun!  It definitely sounds like a challenge!  And here are the biggest reasons I think it just might be time to do it:

1. We live in a trail running mecca that is the best possible training grounds for a trail ultra!  In fact, since we moved here at the start of August, I've almost exclusively run on trail.  Not just flat trails either...lots of hills, rocks, turns...varying terrain.  
2. It would be such a special thing to be able to train and run my first ultra with my husband (his first too).  We'd start with a 50k and see what we think.  The 50k we are thinking of is in May (a very challenging one!) so I could use the Boston Marathon as a training run if that's what I decided.  

For now, I'm still deciding what to do about my next training goals.  I might use a different marathon plan and train for Boston starting in January and then still try to run the ultra in May but then I also might just truly train for endurance with no specific marathon training and use Boston as a true long training run for an ultra...slow and steady.  I'm hoping this book will bring inspiration.  I hear good things about it.  Here's what the back of the book has to say:

Speaking of relentless forward progress....on my run today, I thought of some short term and long term goals I have for myself as I continue to move forward here and set down some roots:

• Start paying more attention to my daily diet.  Since moving, it hasn't been the best.  I stopped taking a daily vitamin, was skipping some important nutrients, and so much more! I'm pretty sure this added to the depression I was dealing with. It's time to get back on track here.  I'm confident that being more conscious about a balanced diet with the right nutrients will help will help with mood, focus, ambition, and athletic performance.  
• Get back in a routine of writing in my personal journals daily:  free writing, gratitude, goals, and just processing.  
• Continue to fill my life with positive intentions and thoughts that I want to fulfill.
• Continue to live with vulnerability and authenticity.  This is how I thrive.  Being open with my feelings and thoughts as they come can be scary but also very empowering.  
• Make efforts to build new relationships while nurturing the ones I already have.  
• Spend 10-15 minutes of focused quality time with each of my kids weekly. Really, this doesn't sound like much but with all the many things that fill the week with three kids, this is harder than it sounds some weeks. We spend lots more time with our kids and will likely have many opportunities to connect with them in meaningful ways every day.  However, things can get busier than we intend.  Being conscious of spending specific time with each of my kids is just one way to make sure each day isn't a "we'll get to that tomorrow" type day.  Even if each kid has one night a week where I cuddle with them in bed for awhile before they fall asleep...this INTENTIONAL quality time goes a long way. This will be their time.  A run, a cuddle, a walk, a trip to the store together....  This is in addition to the every day stuff.  A slow-down, special, deliberate connection.  
• Same as above but with my husband!  But make that a date night or day.  Just deliberate time  we set aside for each other.  Free of distractions.  
• Add some yoga or strength to the fitness routine.  I still have a hard time slowing down for these things but I'm getting better.  My friend Rene made a yoga for runners video that I will share soon.  Simple, short, and great for adding in a routine!  Again, I just need to remember to slow down and make time for this!  
• Continue believing in, researching, and writing the book I'm co-authoring.  More on this another time but I'm excited at the progress so far!  

Follow up to my last post 
There was a blog comment on there this morning that got my fingers moving quite quickly in response...a good comment that provoked lots of words so that comment might explain and elaborate on so much from that post on Depression.  If I was vague, I tried to be clear in the comment.  So, if you want more explanation, read the comments.  :)  

I can't help but feel exposed after my last post.  Vulnerable.  Lots of room for misunderstanding and misconception.  Writing on the topic of depression and feeling so stuck wasn't easy but it was freeing and helpful in finding a refocus.  Honestly, writing it was therapeutic.  Reading your comments and private messages where you shared your personal experiences and struggles made me more aware than ever that mental health is something that needs to be taken more seriously.  Depression is just one mental health topic that our society needs to talk MORE about in order to give people a voice and sense of hope.  I read so many of your stories--stories of depression, anxiety and fears of talking about and admitting your struggles.  Because there is such a stigma that comes with depression, so many people are embarrassed to talk about it. There is also such a spectrum when it comes to the severity one can experience depression.  Someone like me, who is quite low on the spectrum might feel embarrassed to even admit to having a level of depression at all.  Especially if you see what's out there when you search for things on depression. I searched the hash tag for depression (#depression) on Instagram as I often do before I slap a label on my Instagram posts...just to make sure I'm putting my blog posts with the right category (you never know!).  Oh MY!  Before Instagram even let me into that hash tag group, I got a warning along the lines of the images I was about to see would be disturbing.  Wow.  My recent stretch of feeling depressed and struggling to understand my lower level feeling of depression were not even close to being like what I was seeing in these posts.  They were labeled #depression but so may of the people posting were dealing with things far far beyond anything I can even come close to comprehending. Some SEVERE mental illness!  With that being said, I think writing my post served even more of a purpose than I realized. It helped me process and acknowledge some very real feelings and gave a voice to others who might be in the same place of feeling embarrassed to admit to experiencing some level of depression.

I enjoyed this article:  Overcoming the Stigma of Depression.  

A few bullet points: 

• I've never been clinically diagnosed with depression.  I know there are people out there that have severe levels of depression that I don't even begin to understand.  However, I do know the difference between just feeling down and blah and truly experiencing lows that feel out of our control.  
• Mental Health in our country...the world...is equally as important as physical health.  I so strongly believe that we need to address this topic more and more.  In fact, it is likely that with an increase in mental health awareness and support, we will see a decrease in physical illnesses. 
• This last month of my life has definitely been about finding my ground and setting down roots.  A close friend came to visit this weekend and reminded me that it takes time for plants to have a strong root system and she compared this to how it is for us to feel rooted after a big life change.  Yes!  Feeling unrooted, stuffing feelings of struggle as they came up, and then getting to a point where I just felt stuck, led to some pretty dark feelings.  Getting stuck like this and not knowing what to do with all the hidden feelings we've stored up can surely make us feel sick on a mental level. 
• Being depressed and truly struggling for awhile isn't the same for everyone.  For example, running, self awareness, diet, self expression, talking it out, setting goals, and being heard...these things are just some of what is enough for me to get back on track.  Others might need much more.  Although I've never needed, wanted or used antidepressants or any kind of medication, I do think some people need this!  And I don't think it is anything to be ashamed about!  In fact, talk about it!!  That's just it...let's talk more about this so people don't feel so alone!  

Have you run an ultramarathon?  What one?  Do you have any interest in it?  

Have you read this book Relentless Forward Progress?  

Amanda

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