Day 7 and 8. Project Begin Again: Running, Motherhood, Life.

"Acknowledging the good you already have in life is the foundation of all abundance."  

-Eckhart Tolle

Yesterday was a day where I needed to skip the run and be still on a rock by my river.  Today, I did run...9 miles actually...But my body, mind spirit are tired this weekend.  A few days where I'm reminded to listen and be still in gratitude.  Lots of time by this beautiful, wise and roaring river behind my house.  Even a partial nap on her warm rocks.  

I've decided that I will likely bundle my posts for this Project Begin Again when it comes to the weekends.  I took note of my gratitude and intentions yesterday but didn't publish... I was enjoying my present moments too much to get to my computer and type.  So here's to day 7 and 8 in one!  Not that it really even matters considering I'm sticking to my guidelines and writing for ME.  Those that read along... great!  Otherwise, I made the rules so I can change them a little.

As with all of these posts... 

Before I move on to my daily musings, below are the guidelines I keep in every post.  

So, here's how this will go. 

1. I will write something on here every day for 38 days because that is how many days until my 50k.  
2. I will keep in simple!!! Some days will consist of three sentences if that's all I have.   
3. I will write for me.  
4. I will try very hard NOT to compare my old Runninghood self to the Amanda typing today.  
5. I will keep my posts to daily gratitude, intentions and.... because how can we not feel sad, heavy hearted and powerless at so much happening in our world...I will include at least one small way I can or have done something to make the world a better place (this can be as simple and powerful as helping my child learn a lesson about love and kindness).  
6. Why am I doing this?  To Begin Again.  Just as with training for a marathon when we put in our daily workouts, I want to get into the habit of focusing on the things that make me happy and my intentions for making my life what I want. Writing helps me with this.  

Life always becomes a little bit clearer when I get outside in nature.  I return home full of all the good stuff: peace, clarity, inspiration, centeredness, love, and an idea of what really matters most!  It's surely here in nature where I feel/hear God every single time!  And running in nature?  All of this good is then amplified !  

Day 7 and 8:

Gratitude:

• My mom is here tonight!  I think I will convince her to stay at least another day before she heads back to the country outside of Portland.
• I ran 9 very happy miles this morning before picking my mom up from the airport.  I felt so good.  Most of my miles were on the single track trails above a busier portion of trail along the Deschutes River. I love weaving in and around the trees...following the curvy ups and downs of these dirt trails.... 
• Not a super high mileage week for running (around 40 miles) but I think one of my happiest weeks in awhile.  
• I felt happy with running, career, motherhood, friendships... all around!  I think my boost in happiness and contentment surely has  something to do with this project where I am intentional about taking the time to focus on my gratitude and what I want most in life.  
• What a glorious weekend... soccer, sunshine, friends, first outdoor fire and BBQ this season, warm weather, family in town....
• My son lost his first tooth!  He's my baby...this feels big for me to have my last child lose his first tooth.  A good memory that came with it too... it involved jumping on the trampoline in our backyard on a warm spring night with his cousin from Portland.  A perfect moment for a first lost tooth for my baby.  
• I spent lots of time in nature this weekend.  A few of my runs earlier in the week had to be on the treadmill due to my work schedule with kids.  However, Friday, Saturday and Sunday (today) involved many hours outside in nature!   
• I get to see one of my absolutely nearest and dearest humans this next weekend!!!  So so excited!!  More on this later... 

First backyard fire of the season... hopefully the first of many! 

Intentions: 

• First off, I think I met all of my intentions from Friday so so well.  I feel good about how well I was able to relax and enjoy my weekend.  Very much in the present moment.  I soaked it up!  And forgot about my blog. Until I reminded myself of my goal to stick with this for 38 days.  :)  
• Spend quality time with my mom in Bend tomorrow.  No distractions.  I will drop the kids at school and do whatever we feel up for... starting with coffee at Dudley's Bookstore, then visiting shops, walking by the river, and having lunch at one of my favorite spots.  Maybe we will even go see a movie!  Haven't done that in a long time.  
• Be slow to react and quick to respond with love, patience and compassion.  
• Say "thank you" to the people in my life (strangers and loved ones) and notice the efforts they are making to be their best selves.  
• Run LONG this week!  I plan to run a good 20 plus miler.  I'm talking mountain trail miles so this will take a looooong time!  I'm guessing a good 3.5 hours on my feet.  This will be hard and I know have to go into the run prepared to fuel, hydrate and have a mental plan for what to tell myself when I want to be done!  
• Continue to do the strength/core work that adds up to getting stronger and more defined!  
• To be intentional about the ways I let my sweet man know how much I love and appreciate him.  He has been working so much lately but despite the long hours and days that often carry over into home, he is so excited about what he is doing and where he in in life.  This makes me happy to see him so happy doing something he loves and is good at.  Gosh, I love him .  We aren't perfect (who is? ) and our road hasn't been without little bumps but damn, I got lucky with him.  Good good man.  And you know, he's the first and loudest cheerleader in my life... the one who encourages and supports me to go after any dream I ever have... while also letting me know, he doesn't expect me to do any more than I already am.  So this one is for gratitude and intentions I suppose.    

How have I, or can I continue to play even a small part in making the world a better place (Be the Change):  

• BE GRATITUDE.  Give GRATITUDE.  
• BE LOVE.  Give LOVE.  
• Think good thoughts, do good actions, say good words.  

Amanda

Relentless Forward Progress

Relentless Forward Progress.  

What a great name for a book! What a great string of words, period. Relentless Forward Progress. This  sums up so much of what it's about to live life: continuing to move forward from where we are and make progress one step at a time.  Hope. Finding things to work on and be intentional about so we can keep making our life what we want it to be.  Small steps.  Big steps.  Daring leaps of possibility.  This is one of the things I love so much about running and training for marathons (and maybe soon to be ultramarathons).  We start where we are and we keep moving forward with progress.  Running is a metaphor for life.  Sometimes we train for a big goal where we push our limits and sometimes we run to be with ourselves and do something that brings joy.  No matter why or how we run, it adds an element to our living that keeps us striving for more... health, life, possibility, energy....  I truly think that running is one thing that helps us be the best possible version of ourselves.   

Relentless Forward Progress is the next book on my reading list as far as running books go.  Up until now, ultrarunning isn't something that I've had a deep desire to try. And I'm still not entirely sold.  In fact, I've often said that the marathon is the longest distance I would ever want to run.  When my husband read Born to Run a few years ago, he started talking about his desire to run an ultra and I just rolled my eyes and said how ridiculous that sounded.  Of course he usually brought it up right after I finished a marathon and I was still in the stage of thinking I never wanted to run that long ever again.  I remember him asking me if I would ever want to run the last 30 miles of a 100 mile race with him.  I thought he was nuts!  30 miles?!  26.2 is plenty long enough!!  Funny how time changes things.  I think I'm finally at a place in my life where running a trail ultra sounds kind of fun!  It definitely sounds like a challenge!  And here are the biggest reasons I think it just might be time to do it:

1. We live in a trail running mecca that is the best possible training grounds for a trail ultra!  In fact, since we moved here at the start of August, I've almost exclusively run on trail.  Not just flat trails either...lots of hills, rocks, turns...varying terrain.  
2. It would be such a special thing to be able to train and run my first ultra with my husband (his first too).  We'd start with a 50k and see what we think.  The 50k we are thinking of is in May (a very challenging one!) so I could use the Boston Marathon as a training run if that's what I decided.  

For now, I'm still deciding what to do about my next training goals.  I might use a different marathon plan and train for Boston starting in January and then still try to run the ultra in May but then I also might just truly train for endurance with no specific marathon training and use Boston as a true long training run for an ultra...slow and steady.  I'm hoping this book will bring inspiration.  I hear good things about it.  Here's what the back of the book has to say:

Speaking of relentless forward progress....on my run today, I thought of some short term and long term goals I have for myself as I continue to move forward here and set down some roots:

• Start paying more attention to my daily diet.  Since moving, it hasn't been the best.  I stopped taking a daily vitamin, was skipping some important nutrients, and so much more! I'm pretty sure this added to the depression I was dealing with. It's time to get back on track here.  I'm confident that being more conscious about a balanced diet with the right nutrients will help will help with mood, focus, ambition, and athletic performance.  
• Get back in a routine of writing in my personal journals daily:  free writing, gratitude, goals, and just processing.  
• Continue to fill my life with positive intentions and thoughts that I want to fulfill.
• Continue to live with vulnerability and authenticity.  This is how I thrive.  Being open with my feelings and thoughts as they come can be scary but also very empowering.  
• Make efforts to build new relationships while nurturing the ones I already have.  
• Spend 10-15 minutes of focused quality time with each of my kids weekly. Really, this doesn't sound like much but with all the many things that fill the week with three kids, this is harder than it sounds some weeks. We spend lots more time with our kids and will likely have many opportunities to connect with them in meaningful ways every day.  However, things can get busier than we intend.  Being conscious of spending specific time with each of my kids is just one way to make sure each day isn't a "we'll get to that tomorrow" type day.  Even if each kid has one night a week where I cuddle with them in bed for awhile before they fall asleep...this INTENTIONAL quality time goes a long way. This will be their time.  A run, a cuddle, a walk, a trip to the store together....  This is in addition to the every day stuff.  A slow-down, special, deliberate connection.  
• Same as above but with my husband!  But make that a date night or day.  Just deliberate time  we set aside for each other.  Free of distractions.  
• Add some yoga or strength to the fitness routine.  I still have a hard time slowing down for these things but I'm getting better.  My friend Rene made a yoga for runners video that I will share soon.  Simple, short, and great for adding in a routine!  Again, I just need to remember to slow down and make time for this!  
• Continue believing in, researching, and writing the book I'm co-authoring.  More on this another time but I'm excited at the progress so far!  

Follow up to my last post 
There was a blog comment on there this morning that got my fingers moving quite quickly in response...a good comment that provoked lots of words so that comment might explain and elaborate on so much from that post on Depression.  If I was vague, I tried to be clear in the comment.  So, if you want more explanation, read the comments.  :)  

I can't help but feel exposed after my last post.  Vulnerable.  Lots of room for misunderstanding and misconception.  Writing on the topic of depression and feeling so stuck wasn't easy but it was freeing and helpful in finding a refocus.  Honestly, writing it was therapeutic.  Reading your comments and private messages where you shared your personal experiences and struggles made me more aware than ever that mental health is something that needs to be taken more seriously.  Depression is just one mental health topic that our society needs to talk MORE about in order to give people a voice and sense of hope.  I read so many of your stories--stories of depression, anxiety and fears of talking about and admitting your struggles.  Because there is such a stigma that comes with depression, so many people are embarrassed to talk about it. There is also such a spectrum when it comes to the severity one can experience depression.  Someone like me, who is quite low on the spectrum might feel embarrassed to even admit to having a level of depression at all.  Especially if you see what's out there when you search for things on depression. I searched the hash tag for depression (#depression) on Instagram as I often do before I slap a label on my Instagram posts...just to make sure I'm putting my blog posts with the right category (you never know!).  Oh MY!  Before Instagram even let me into that hash tag group, I got a warning along the lines of the images I was about to see would be disturbing.  Wow.  My recent stretch of feeling depressed and struggling to understand my lower level feeling of depression were not even close to being like what I was seeing in these posts.  They were labeled #depression but so may of the people posting were dealing with things far far beyond anything I can even come close to comprehending. Some SEVERE mental illness!  With that being said, I think writing my post served even more of a purpose than I realized. It helped me process and acknowledge some very real feelings and gave a voice to others who might be in the same place of feeling embarrassed to admit to experiencing some level of depression.

I enjoyed this article:  Overcoming the Stigma of Depression.  

A few bullet points: 

• I've never been clinically diagnosed with depression.  I know there are people out there that have severe levels of depression that I don't even begin to understand.  However, I do know the difference between just feeling down and blah and truly experiencing lows that feel out of our control.  
• Mental Health in our country...the world...is equally as important as physical health.  I so strongly believe that we need to address this topic more and more.  In fact, it is likely that with an increase in mental health awareness and support, we will see a decrease in physical illnesses. 
• This last month of my life has definitely been about finding my ground and setting down roots.  A close friend came to visit this weekend and reminded me that it takes time for plants to have a strong root system and she compared this to how it is for us to feel rooted after a big life change.  Yes!  Feeling unrooted, stuffing feelings of struggle as they came up, and then getting to a point where I just felt stuck, led to some pretty dark feelings.  Getting stuck like this and not knowing what to do with all the hidden feelings we've stored up can surely make us feel sick on a mental level. 
• Being depressed and truly struggling for awhile isn't the same for everyone.  For example, running, self awareness, diet, self expression, talking it out, setting goals, and being heard...these things are just some of what is enough for me to get back on track.  Others might need much more.  Although I've never needed, wanted or used antidepressants or any kind of medication, I do think some people need this!  And I don't think it is anything to be ashamed about!  In fact, talk about it!!  That's just it...let's talk more about this so people don't feel so alone!  

Have you run an ultramarathon?  What one?  Do you have any interest in it?  

Have you read this book Relentless Forward Progress?  

Amanda

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/Runninghood

Instagram:  http://instagram.com/runninghood

Twitter:      https://twitter.com/Runninghood1

An Energy Shift and Writing Us Through Personal Affirmations

Something shifted in my life this weekend. Energy.  Perspective.  Something tangible.  A wake up call of sorts.  I say this weekend because this is when I felt this shift the strongest.  But really, this shift has been in progress for quite some time.  Lots of work going on in this head and heart and spirit of mine.  A quiet process that hasn't been entirely easy. Good work is never entirely easy.  I woke up Sunday morning feeling like I'd just been given a new pair of glasses that allowed me to see myself, my life, and those I love so dearly in a new, beautiful, hopeful, bright and full of possibility way.  It was like I was remembering myself for some things but yet seeing something new and different.  Shedding a layer.  I can't adequately explain this new page I find myself on but I do know in my bones that it is here to stay.  I'm determined to hold on.  But really, I don't think I need to hold on to anything.  I think I just need to BE...right where I am.

My run on Sunday was a reflection of this energy shift.  I went to my usual path around the lake where I expected my favorite dirt/gravel path to myself. Instead, the path was full of people enjoying the beautiful blue skies and spring-like day.  Friends laughing, families walking hand in hand, dads throwing frisbees for sons, dogs running free, smiling faces turning towards the bright sky to soak up the sunshine...it was a glorious day!  The energy within myself and around me was amazing!  I set out on my 10 mile run knowing instantly that this run would be all mine. No trying to stick to my designated "easy pace range" or thinking too much about anything other than soaking up all the life around me.  I was running with my heart, not my head.  I just wanted to run what was easy and happy for me on this day.  A glorious unleashing.  I finished with a huge little-girl-like smile stretched out over my face. Oh how good it felt to run so free and happy.  And strong.  In fact, I'm pretty sure, I was smiling the entire run.  It was a run I needed in so many ways.

One of the things I was yet again reminded of on Saturday night is of just how valuable of a life tool my journals are for me.  The habit of writing down my long and short term goals, personal affirmations, gratitude and self reflections is a habit that carries over into all areas of my life in such powerful ways.  Writing these things down helps me with accountability, self awareness, and the ability to see things from new perspectives.  It's not for everyone but it does work for me in helping me make my life what I want it to be and in staying true to my values and dreams.  My time in my journal...my time writing down my goals and seeing my affirmations and gratitude on paper is as important to my life as physical exercise and eating healthy.  It's my language with myself.

Some affirmations for today to go along with my current goals:

On Mothering with LOVE and GRACE:

• I respond in a way that heals instead of reacting in a way that harms.  
• I use my words to uplift and empower.  
• I model calm and thoughtful responses.  
• I am present with conversations and play

On Being the Friend I Want to Be:

• I am an open ear and available when my friends need me.
• I communicate in a way that lets my friends know I care.  
• I hold my closest friends close.  I'd rather have my treasures of friendships be small in number but rich in depth than miles and load of "friends" that are only superficial and surface.  

On Being the Wife I Want to Be:

• I am faithful and loving in my actions, words, and thoughts
• I give him the freedom to be himself while lovingly encouraging and supporting him in making and striving for new goals for self-improvement.
• I am adventurous and open to trying new things
• I work on our love life. I tend to it like I would my greatest garden.  

On Being the Athlete I Want to Be:

• I find JOY in my running and marathon training
• I follow a plan and trust the process
• I believe in myself and  the value in daily exercise, eating healthy, staying strong and sticking to a goal
• I use the energy that comes from physical self-discipline to make myself stronger in all other areas of my life. 
• I seek balance in my life

Do you write down your personal and positive affirmations, goals and gratitude?  Do you put these things where you can see them?  Why or why not?  Again, I don't think this habit is for everyone.  But it does work for me. In so many ways.  I've written my goals, visions for my life, affirmations and gratitude for most of my life and I've seen these thing manifested in some pretty amazing ways!  It's part of intentional living for me.  I was laughing the other other night when I found a sort of life map that I jotted down for myself while in the middle of a graduate class.  It was kind of an outline of a vision I had for what I wanted the next 5 to 7 years of my life to be.  And you know what?  Almost all of it came to be!  I'm not saying that just writing our visions, dreams and goals down will make them come true.  Obviously not.  But by visualizing them, I was made more aware of them and intent on making them happen.  I wrote these things before I was married but I was engaged and in graduate school.  I wrote when I wanted to have each of my three kids (what ages I would be and how far I wanted them spaced), when we'd buy our first house, professional goals, goals to get my masters degree before kids, marathon goals, etc.  And it all happened as written/envisioned.  I should frame those jotted down notes someday... they truly are a dream come true because when I was writing them down, I was breathing life into them by starting with dreaming them up...those dreams led to more focused intention and then I kept my dreams in my head and imagined them and now here we are.  Ready to jot down some more life dreams for the next 5 years perhaps because at this point I'm having a hard time seeing 6 months ahead.  

Running, Reflection and some Life GOALS

Running in Asheville certainly provide plenty of beautiful views.

Asheville is one of the most beautiful places to run.  The Blue Ridge Mountains never get old, trails are plentiful and there are so many lush trees and wildlife.  I do love that we get to live here for close to another year.  But, man oh man, it is still sinking in that there just aren't many options for running if you want a break in hills.  There might be one or two places where you can find a flatter area to do some pace work or a tempo run.  Otherwise, suck it up buttercup and enjoy the climb!  At least there are downhills to balance out the uphills.  And, when you do climb up up up, there is almost always a gorgeous view waiting for you at the top.  Oh, and hills keep the buns nice and tight...can't complain about that! Thank you hills.

The above picture is right around mile 3 of my 13.1 mile training run this past Friday.  I set out with 15 miles in mind but once I hit the 10 mile mark, I knew that I was going to have to reevaluate my plan.  Jumping into marathon training six weeks into a plan after running almost NO endurance runs since May makes for lots of catching up to do.  Endurance is so much harder for me to get back this time compared to how I've felt in the past. And you know what they say about doing too much too soon....not a good idea. Slow and steady is the name of the game here. With running.  With life.

Picking my Running Journal back up again.  And yes, I did include "Hugged a Tree" as part of my notes today.

Journals and Goals

I dusted off the Running Journal tonight.  Even though I'm keeping things light and easy this time, I'm ready to be a little bit more focused and intentional with my training if I'm actually going to cover the distance of 26.2 miles on November 9th. Writing my runs down, reflecting a bit, and setting a few goals is an important part of the training process for me.  It was fun looking back over the collages, reflections, training notes, and memories from the past.  My Running Journal really is such a great training tool!

My personal journal has been getting a bit of love from me again too.  As I flipped back over it, I remembered just how much I used to write down my goals and gratitude and how very little of that I've done recently.  This was such a powerful and intentional exercise for my daily living.  I'd like to spend more time in there again.  Even if it is just to write a short list of gratitude and goals once a week.  The thing about that is, once I start small with this, I'll find myself getting into a daily habit again.  Tonight I did take some time to write down some goals I have for RIGHT NOW in life:

• Give extra LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT to my husband this week as he prepares for his marathon on Sunday.  He's trained so hard and smart!  I know he can run that sub 3:10 he is shooting for.  
• Volunteer!  Find opportunities to use my gifts to GIVE to others.  Looking into volunteer work at a literacy council where I can help adults with reading.  
• Be present with my kids and find JOY in the time I spend with them.  These days truly are a gift (as is all of life).  
• Keep my Mommy Panties out of a bunch and let more of the little things go.  
• Be a bit more conscious about running/workouts.  I don't have to be too absorbed in them...just a little extra attention while continuing to have fun.  
• Take time for Prayer, Meditation and light Yoga poses to help me slow down/stretch/breathe.  
• Be intentional and aware of my thoughts.  Focusing on LOVE, seeing the positive in the world, lots of "I CANS" and "I AMs", and lots of believing that ANYTHING is possible.  
• Share myself with others.  I know I don't have to be an open book or share everything about myself but it's time to bring some of the walls down again and be a bit less guarded with myself.  

Finding JOY in sharing Yoga with my kids today.  We have these cards called Yoga Pretzels that make yoga poses fun for kids.  This one is a partner pose called Double Dog.  

What are some of your goals?  Do you keep a running journal (or running log)?  

Amanda

You can also find Runninghood on:

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/Runninghood

Instagram:  http://instagram.com/runninghood

Twitter:      https://twitter.com/Runninghood1

Some New Goals for My Today...My NOW. And Bring on the PULL-UPs!

Goals Goals Goals.  As far back in my life as I can remember, I've been a goal-driven person.  When I was a kid, I might not have known that the things I set in my mind to work towards were even called "Goals" but I had them.  I've always had something in my head and my heart that I wanted to strive for.    To go along with the goals I've set for myself has been quite a heavy dose of REFLECTION and this has been KEY for me in being able to accomplish the things I set out to do.  As I continue to work towards things that I want for my life, I've always been able to take a step back and see myself from another perspective. I can see where I'm struggling and where I need to make changes.  I can also see the progress I've made along the way...taking the time to notice this progress makes me want to keep going!  Many times I set goals that only last for a short while before getting scraped.  And sometimes my goals continue to hold for months and years.  No matter how long I sit with a goal, having them always makes me a better me.  

Recently I've felt such a pull to take a step back and start fresh with some goals.  Things have just been moving so quickly and it seems as if every day, every week has been FULL with changes and NEW NEW NEW with this move to North Carolina.  Now that things are settling into "normal" and this place feels more like home, I've had a chance to sit with my old friend REFLECTION and think about where I'm at with life and myself and where I want to be.  

Some new Goals for my TODAY...for my NOW:

• Connect on a deeper level.  So much of me craves connection and an opportunity to share my life moments with those that I love and miss but a huge part of me has been craving an equal amount of privacy or rather a closer knit social circle. Not sure how I will go about doing this but taking time for e-mail, phone calls, special "I'm thinking of you" text messages", filtering my facebook audience so I'm connecting with less people and more with the people that truly care.  
• Be PRESENT and engaged with my kids without phone or other distractions nearby.  
• Read more books.  I have a reading list for the summer and it looks like this will be my summer of classics.  I'm done with Jane Eyre and on to a book called Silas Marner (almost done) by George Elliot.  Excited for the next one.  
• Enrich my MIND (again, more reading along with visiting museums, writing, having more meaningful conversations with friends, etc.)
• Stay off FB way way MORE...limit times that I check Facebook, e-mail and other social media outlets.  And share less and with limited people.  
• Use my Gifts.  Volunteer, connect, being open and conscious of giving of myself to the world . 
• Continue to reflect and set goals.  This is a goal in itself.
• Get in touch with my spiritual side that has been neglected lately.    
• FITNESS.  I have no real running goals right now other than to run often and running what I feel like running.  Some days this will be 5 miles and other days only 3.  But it is so wonderful to not be training for anything specific.  One of my biggest goals with fitness in addition to a healthy lifestyle (diet, staying active, etc.) is to continue to build on strength.  I've been doing lots of: Lunges, push ups, hill running, dips, abs, pull-ups, etc.  My body is shouting out a big "THANK YOU" for the drop in mileage and just more of an overall balance to my fitness routine.  
• One of the goals I've set for myself this summer is to do 10 full pull-ups by the end of the summer.  Right now I'm at about 6 to 7 but I have some work to do with not bringing my knees up.  I'm not entirely sure of the "Proper" form for a pull-up but I plan to make sure to have that down by the end of the summer.  I think that instead of doing pull-ups every day, I might break it up to 3 times a week with 3 sets of pull-ups (as many as I can do).  Many times,  I walk by my pull-up bar and I  make a point to pull myself up on the bar and hold myself up for as long as I can last before continuing whatever it was I was doing.  It helps that the bar is in my kids' bedroom door frame.  Below is a video of my 6 pull-ups from last night and almost 7 today.  You'll notice what I mean by my knees coming up.  But here's to making progress!  10 seems like a lot more than 6 and 7 when it comes to pull-ups.   

Are you a goal driven person?  Do you write your goals down or just keep them in your mind?  What's one of your biggest goals in life right now? 

Tips for doing proper pull-ups? Feel free to critique my form.   

Amanda 

New Year Thoughts and Making Resolutions or Goals That Stick

It's 2013.  I'm already loving this year and I couldn't be happier for a fresh start.  Funny how we are with new years.  As if we somehow get a reset on life when really it is just another day after the days before.  I think that's why there are many people out there that are so anti-resolutions.  But I say, hey, whatever works to give us a fresh perspective on our life.  Yes, we make goals throughout the year and we can always make changes in our world but there is something about the new year, the fresh calendar, the month of January that just says CLEAN SLATE! And what's the harm in setting resolutions anyway?  Even if we don't end up keeping all of them.  At least we are working towards something...trying to make positive changes and be proactive, right?  Goals...resolutions...same thing to me.

So, how can we make resolutions that stick?  Lasting ones?  Ones that we can have success with so that we don't find ourselves fizzling out 2 weeks down the road of 2013? 

• Keep it simple. Don't set resolutions and goals that are so big you burn out the first week.
• Start small. Baby steps.  Don't expect things to just happen overnight.  
• Make your goals meaningful to you.  Your goals don't have to be popular or trendy or even accepted by anyone other than YOU. 
• Celebrate success no matter how small it is.
• Love ourselves along the way and expect to hit some walls...anything worth working towards is worth pushing past the sticky spots.  It won't all be smooth sailing ahead.  As with anything in life, there will be the moving ahead, the staying still, and the taking a few steps back.  
• Enjoy the process.  By all means, have fun!  Let's not take ourselves so seriously...let's remember to enjoy the ride.  

Some brief thoughts for myself for 2013:

• Love More
• Judge less
• Laugh often
• Let things go so that I can fully enjoy the present moments
• Be open to change
• Live my life the way I would want my "life story" to be read
• Get rid of guilt...it is worthless
• Face Fear head on 
• Enjoy the process
• Keep running fun and remember why I do it...to stay healthy, connect with my best self, and stay goal driven in all areas of my life
• Model love, forgiveness, acceptance for my kids
• Be the kind of friend I want my friends to be to me

And some of my morning reflections over coffee:

In remembering to have the same love, grace and patience for ourselves as we do for the people that mean the most to us, we might need to take a step back and see things from another angle.  Chances are, if we are too hard on ourselves, it is likely that we are equally as hard on those we love most.  Let's take some pressure off in 2013...embrace a little more grace, love, and the imperfections that lead to learning.  

What are some simple goals, resolutions or things you want to focus on for the new year?  

What will you do this year to love yourself more fully?  

How will you go easier on YOU and still push yourself to be the best YOU you can be?  For me, this is easy...stop with the guilt over everything I'm not doing and CELEBRATE the things I am doing!

Happy 2013! 

Amanda 

Follow Runninghood on Facebook

Fresh Start and Breaking Up The Big Picture With Some Weekly Goals.

I suppose every day can be a fresh start if we want it to be.  We don't have to wait until the New Year to make lofty resolutions or attempt to make our dreams come true.  We don't have to wait until our birthday to celebrate our life and truly pamper ourselves.  Just as we don't have to wait until Valentine's Day and anniversaries to celebrate love.  But these dates certainly are nice to have in place as a reminder that these things do matter...love, life, fresh starts...they matter GREATLY!  They are huge parts of what make life great and I'm thankful for the special occasions to celebrate these things and more.  


As I said, I didn't make 2012 resolutions yet but I still plan on setting goals for my days, weeks, and longer spans of time as I am ready.  Here are just a few short goals and a list of gratitude to start my day before I wake my kids for their first day of school in 2012.  


Thankful for:

• Being up early before everyone else.  Although I couldn't bring myself to run yet, I have enjoyed some personal time.  It is nice to be back on routine. 
• Starting the year with a PR in the 10k even though I expected and wanted a faster time.  It was still a PR and an AG win...reason to celebrate and focus on getting faster.
• The past week of vacation.  I slept until 10 once or twice and I felt like a lazy college kid again (minus the three kids I was responsible for).  
• Fresh starts and goals
• Coffee
• I'm feeling my writing itch return to me.  I've missed it.
• Training is going well.
• Ice to sit on while I type so that I can ice my sore bum.
• A family that is all safe, healthy, and here with me today.  Every day is a gift and it is so easy to take for granted sometimes.  Just takes a few nights of crazy dreams to make me wake up more thankful than ever for just the simple things....the basics.

Motherhood/Personal Goals for THIS WEEK:

• Work on the way I respond to my children.  I've gotten so lazy with this.  The more stressful it gets and the more my kids fight and react in awful ways to each other, the more I find myself reacting in ways that are not so stellar.  They sound just like me!  We model for our children how to respond to stress and frustrating situations.  I'm really needing to get my act together with this one!!  Instead of reacting in a way that involves yelling, talking to them in a nagging and whiney voice, and talking over them, I'm trying hard to respond with a sense of calm and control.  This is so much harder said than done for me.  
• To spend more time with God.
• Read more. This will involve shutting off distractions and finding the time to sit down and really read something.  Right now, I'm into reading mostly nonfiction...things I will learn from and be able to take away from immediately.  A perfect time to do this would be after school where we all sit down together and have a 20 minute reading time. Good modeling for my kids.  However, my 2 year old son might not think this is such a stellar idea.  I might be managing him instead of reading.  Better yet, I suppose reading to him would be a good idea.  Can't get enough of Bear Hunt and Diego.  

Running Goals:

• Haven't officially followed a week of plans in my Run Faster book by Brad Hudson.  I've used the bones of the plan. I like this...adapting a plan to my needs is easier than I thought and I trust myself here.  I like the freedom of being able to switch things around based on my needs and my goal is to keep doing this and being conscious of what I need as an athlete.  This involves listening to my body, thinking ahead, and bouncing ideas off of running friends.
• Race more often.  Although the marathon is my main goal, I do think that there is a certain physical and mental benefit to finding opportunities to race.  However, this involves moving other things around in my plan so that I replace key workouts with the race. Not sure how much I will race but I'm not closing the door to racing just because my plan doesn't call for it.  
• Keep making more time for core work and strength training even if it is a little here and there.  
• Diet awareness!  Being conscious of what I'm stuffing my face with is crucial at this point when I'm trying to run higher mileage.  The past two weeks have been AWFUL and I'm ready to get back on track.  

Amanda

Waking Up to the Dreams That Are Today.

Not too long ago, I had a blog reader ask me why I'm so hard on myself.  This was a question that still hasn't left me.  It just kind of sits on my shoulder and from time to time I reflect on the answer that I would give if I knew exactly what it was.  The truth is, I AM hard on myself. Probably too hard.  But I suppose this is one of the things that makes me me.  One of the things that keeps me climbing.  Keeps me making new goals and dreaming big.  It is also one of those things that keeps me from realizing the dreams and goals that have already come true.  The dreams of yesterday that are here today.  The ones I'm living NOW!  The dreams and goals that I set for myself years ago.  The present.  Today. 


Last night I went to bed feeling guilty for so many things.  
Not being calm and patient enough with my kids.
Focusing too much on the negative behaviors instead of the positives.  
A cookie party that wasn't "good enough".
A messy house.
Being on the computer too much.
Not reading enough.
Freaking out on my son for his many episodes of throwing, hitting, and causing havoc.  
SO 
MUCH
GUILT.  
Very Little Grace.  


I woke up after a dream (I'll explain below) with so much heartache and such a deep sense of loss and pain.  Although I was so relieved that my dream wasn't reality, the intense feelings lingered in my heart and it was heavy with the hurt that would have been.  I also felt such a renewed sense of hope and opportunities for fresh starts! My heart, sore from my dream, was also full of gratitude and love.  For myself and my family. I woke up prepared to be present and enveloped in the dreams of TODAY and not getting so wrapped up in the dreams for tomorrow.  


Balance. 
Forgiveness.
Fresh Starts.
Grace.


After sharing my dream with my husband and asking him to just hug me for a bit, I crawled into bed with my oldest daughter and I held her.  I smelled her hair and listened to her breath....felt her warmth. I looked into her sleeping face and remembered her as a baby.  And I realized that it had been so long since I'd really stopped to do that with her. Life has become so crazy that I often find myself just doing a lot of "directing" with her.  "Do your homework!  Read.  Be a good friend.  What do you say when someone gives you something?  Calm down.  Don't forget to get your socks on for soccer."  When was the last time that I just stopped to hold her, my sweet baby girl that is growing into a young lady?  I. Can't. Remember.  


The rest of the morning was rushed and crazy but I was present.  And the computer stayed off, the e-mails waited, and I was fully connected to my children and the start of the day.  And all was great. 


Then my son threw a bowl of Grape Nuts all over the walls, floor and his sister and hell broke loose again.  I cried.  And cried.  And cried.  Must have been the dream...usually, I don't just start crying like a baby.   


After I dropped my daughter off, I had about 10 minutes to journal about my dream.  I've had many of you tell me that your favorite posts of mine are the ones when I share my journal writing, my goals, and my gratitude.  The personal stuff.  I don't mind sharing either.  What I don't want to happen is for me to start changing how I write in my journal because I'm thinking about "sharing" it.  I want to make sure I continue to use my journal for ME and write without inhibition.  Free.  For ME.  And if it so happens that it is share worthy, then so be it.  This is important to me.  To not lose myself for the sake of sharing myself with others.  

This morning's journal:
10/13/11
Woke up from an awful and painful dream.  Death.  Loss.  Love.  What really matters...life.  The last part was of me holding on to Elliana, my first born, my baby.  She was falling asleep but (dying).  I knew this was my last moment with her.  The PAIN.  So incredibly painful...I remember screaming out that it was breaking me.  Breaking my heart.  So literally "breaking me",
a feeling of Pain
Heartbreak  Heart BREAK. 
The most painful grief or feeling of my life.  
I just held onto her so tightly and took in every. Single. thing about her.  
As if I was STARVING and grabbing for a last crumb or drinking up the last drop of water after being without for so long. 
Letting go was so seemingly 
IMPOSSIBLE to do without feeling 
I would die too.  I suppose a piece of me would die forever.  


When I opened my eyes and realized it was a dream, my life seemed different than it did yesterday.  I knew how blessed I have been.  I was/am hyper aware of the love that surrounds me and how easy it is to get caught up in the rush of life, the every day grind, 
setting new goals,
moving on to the next big thing,
looking 
    forward,
looking back.  
But
sometimes forgetting to just 
STOP and LOOK at the Now.  
Hold tight.  Soak up the dreams we are living TODAY.  


If I look back, I realize that the goals and dreams I had for myself years ago are NOW.
REALITY.  
Mother 
Wife to my best friend
Writer  
Runner 
Leader/Teacher


NOW.  Happy.  Now.  Content.  Today.  
Living the Dreams of TODAY.   
So Thankful.  


---------------------------


Now I have this moment of quiet time to sit and reflect and BE with myself and I'm so grateful for the day.  I'm sure I'll always be seeking Balance, setting goals, and dreaming big...that's okay. Great even.  But I'm thankful for wake-up calls like today that remind me that my goals and dreams of yesterday have already come true and I should be enjoying them.  

Amanda

Today: Gratitude and Goals

This morning was one of those perfect kind of mornings.  The kids all woke up happy.  No fighting.  Peaceful breakfast.  Focused conversation with goal setting, and reading.  And in between dropping my oldest off at school and taking my middle daughter to preschool, I found a solid fifteen minutes to journal, finish my coffee and share with you!  Happy Tuesday!


Thankful for:

• Quiet writing time last night @ a coffee shop.
• A husband that has government holiday--having Columbus Day together was awesome!
• A clean house
• Coming home last night to a flower and a love note from my oldest daughter.  Made MY YEAR!
• Quiet devotion, prayer, goal, homework time for 10-15 minutes this morning with all three of my kids--Great way to start the day Focused!
• Fall leaves covering my lawn.
• Jumping on the trampoline with piles of leaves to throw in the air.
• Watching the Steve Jobs commencement video from 2005...SO inspiring....Why hadn't I seen it before?!
• Time with friends yesterday.  Reminds me that I need to make more time for that.
• Legs that are ITCHING to run!
• Quiet morning coloring with Sam and Nomers while I journal my gratitude and goals.

Goals:

10/10/11 (yesterday's goals)

1.  Get inspired

2.  Finish application....

3.  Halloween Cookies with kids

4.  Find beauty in the ordinary

5.  Read stories/books with each of my kids.  At least 10 minutes of SOLID one-on-one full connection time!

6.  Reading some running books

7.  Spend time with God....get outside!

10/11/11

1.  Get set up for Fall Cookie Party tomorrow after school...invite kids' friends.

2.  Focused one-on-one time with each kid (@ least 10 minutes of focused/solid time)

3.  Read something from @ least 2 books or newspaper (off computer reading!!!)

4.  Think of one thing I can do today to make someone else's day/life better.  

5.  Quality time with my husband...even if it is just sitting down and having a conversation with no other distractions.  

6.  Some sort of Fall Decorating (not my specialty)...maybe make a scarecrow with the kids...THEY LOVE THIS STUFF..making memories.  

7.  Kick some bootay in my workout today!  Run Strong.

8.  Make TODAY GREAT!

1.  What are some every day things that you are thankful for today?  

2.  What is something about your "ordinary" that is extraordinary and beautiful if you stop to really notice?  

3.  Any goals for today (simple and big) that you'd like to share?  I love to hear!  Your goals and gratitude inspire me!!  

Amanda

Gentle Redirections...Hitting the Reset Button

Tonight is one of those nights when I catch and gently redirect myself back to where I want to be.  It is so easy for me to get obsessive and one tracked with my thinking and doing and before I know it, I'm losing control on so many of the other things that are important to me.  I'm not sure what has been up with me the past couple of weeks but I've just been in a Funky Cloud.  I have not felt on my GAME as a mother, wife, friend...you know, that feeling like things just are not lining up!  I've kind of felt indifferent about things that I'm generally pretty passionate about.  Perhaps I can merely chalk it up to "that time of the month" or being tired but whatever it is, I'm ready to lift the cloud, take a long close looks at my life, and get back in the zone of Awesomeness!  That zone where everything seems balanced and in check and the energy I'm sending out is as as wonderful as the energy I'm getting more of!  


Running
My training is one of the things I've been more obsessive about than usual.  I've been thinking a lot more about what it will take to reach some big goals.  I find myself thinking about racing and running all the time.  When I should be thinking about other things and being fully present with those that I love.  God. My kids. My husband.  Don't get me wrong, I think it is perfectly legit to be thinking through training plans, race strategy, goals, etc. during the day and while I'm doing things but I can't allow my training to take over my every thought.  I have to stay BALANCED or my running will OWN me instead of me being in control of it.  And this will lead me down an all too familiar path where, instead of  improving as a runner, I will become way too mental about it all.  This limits me.  Instead of just running and doing what I know I can do, I OVER THINK and end up making it all way harder than it is.  


Motherhood
Being a mother is hard.  Enough said.  Being good at the art of parenting and raising children is so much more work than anyone ever tells you.  I find myself really slipping lately.  Getting lazy with my parenting and not putting forth the effort that I should.  Instead of using stressful situations with my kids as teachable moments and redirecting their squabbles with love and gentleness, I find myself yelling way more than I ever thought I would.  Barking really.  Growling even.  Today maybe even a snarl or two.  I know the tricks.  I know how to get them back on track so that a small fight and  mischievous ploy doesn't turn into a horrific day where everyone ends up with consequences and feeling lousy about themselves.  I know the difference between strong parenting and poor parenting skills.  So, why do I find myself being so lazy as a mother lately?  I've turned into a threatening, reacting, fired up fool that wants my kids to do as I say and not as I do!  Okay, I'm probably being my own worst critic but really, I'm ready to start being a little more ACTIVE and ON with my motherhood game.  These days are short. My job as a mother is my most important job I will ever have.


A Few Goals To Get Myself Redirected

• Connect with each of my children fully and thoughtfully every day!  This will always be an ongoing goal.  Even if it is only 10-15 minutes with each kid where for those 10-15 minutes they feel like they are the center of my world.  Maybe this will be a story together, a conversation, a cuddle...something where my mind is focused fully in the present moment with them!
• Pray and connect with God!  This part of my life is failing.  I need to recharge myself on a spiritual level and take time for quiet meditation (without letting running come into my thinking)
• Keep running FUN!  This is important to me. This is key for me.  I run my best when the pressure is off.  My Goal is to surprise myself.  For me this means not overanalyzing things but allowing myself to enjoy the surprise and the learning.  Planning a little is essential but planning too much for a race is destructive for me.  
• Ask my husband about his job and goals more.  It shouldn't be all about Me and lately I feel as if it is.  I also want to really think of small things to do for him that mean a lot...making coffee for the next day, helping him make his lunches, eye contact and being fully present and attentive when he is talking to me and telling me about his day.  
• Dream Big and be creative with my thinking.  It is important for me to remind myself not to put limits on myself...limits caused by fear and insecurity.  This goes with my dreams of writing, goals with running, and where I choose to take my career.

What about you? Do you have any "reset goals" that you come back to again and again?

Amanda