Running, Reflection and some Life GOALS

Running in Asheville certainly provide plenty of beautiful views.

Asheville is one of the most beautiful places to run.  The Blue Ridge Mountains never get old, trails are plentiful and there are so many lush trees and wildlife.  I do love that we get to live here for close to another year.  But, man oh man, it is still sinking in that there just aren't many options for running if you want a break in hills.  There might be one or two places where you can find a flatter area to do some pace work or a tempo run.  Otherwise, suck it up buttercup and enjoy the climb!  At least there are downhills to balance out the uphills.  And, when you do climb up up up, there is almost always a gorgeous view waiting for you at the top.  Oh, and hills keep the buns nice and tight...can't complain about that! Thank you hills.

The above picture is right around mile 3 of my 13.1 mile training run this past Friday.  I set out with 15 miles in mind but once I hit the 10 mile mark, I knew that I was going to have to reevaluate my plan.  Jumping into marathon training six weeks into a plan after running almost NO endurance runs since May makes for lots of catching up to do.  Endurance is so much harder for me to get back this time compared to how I've felt in the past. And you know what they say about doing too much too soon....not a good idea. Slow and steady is the name of the game here. With running.  With life.

Picking my Running Journal back up again.  And yes, I did include "Hugged a Tree" as part of my notes today.

Journals and Goals

I dusted off the Running Journal tonight.  Even though I'm keeping things light and easy this time, I'm ready to be a little bit more focused and intentional with my training if I'm actually going to cover the distance of 26.2 miles on November 9th. Writing my runs down, reflecting a bit, and setting a few goals is an important part of the training process for me.  It was fun looking back over the collages, reflections, training notes, and memories from the past.  My Running Journal really is such a great training tool!

My personal journal has been getting a bit of love from me again too.  As I flipped back over it, I remembered just how much I used to write down my goals and gratitude and how very little of that I've done recently.  This was such a powerful and intentional exercise for my daily living.  I'd like to spend more time in there again.  Even if it is just to write a short list of gratitude and goals once a week.  The thing about that is, once I start small with this, I'll find myself getting into a daily habit again.  Tonight I did take some time to write down some goals I have for RIGHT NOW in life:

• Give extra LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT to my husband this week as he prepares for his marathon on Sunday.  He's trained so hard and smart!  I know he can run that sub 3:10 he is shooting for.  
• Volunteer!  Find opportunities to use my gifts to GIVE to others.  Looking into volunteer work at a literacy council where I can help adults with reading.  
• Be present with my kids and find JOY in the time I spend with them.  These days truly are a gift (as is all of life).  
• Keep my Mommy Panties out of a bunch and let more of the little things go.  
• Be a bit more conscious about running/workouts.  I don't have to be too absorbed in them...just a little extra attention while continuing to have fun.  
• Take time for Prayer, Meditation and light Yoga poses to help me slow down/stretch/breathe.  
• Be intentional and aware of my thoughts.  Focusing on LOVE, seeing the positive in the world, lots of "I CANS" and "I AMs", and lots of believing that ANYTHING is possible.  
• Share myself with others.  I know I don't have to be an open book or share everything about myself but it's time to bring some of the walls down again and be a bit less guarded with myself.  

Finding JOY in sharing Yoga with my kids today.  We have these cards called Yoga Pretzels that make yoga poses fun for kids.  This one is a partner pose called Double Dog.  

What are some of your goals?  Do you keep a running journal (or running log)?  

Amanda

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Finding My Color and Reconnecting With ME

Every once in awhile I find that I'm feeling pretty far away from myself. I start feeling my world get cloudy and "blur-like".  Almost like I'm losing touch with the things that are most important to being my best self.  After rereading some posts that I wrote on here from last year about things like habits of happiness, making today great, or even refocusing on life with goals, I realize that I wrote these posts during a time of great inspiration.  I wrote them at times where I felt most alive, grounded and connected with ME. I wrote them at times that I was making myself most vulnerable and sharing my personal journal reflections on a regular basis.  Things have been different lately. It isn't that my life is out of control or even unbalanced right now.  In fact, Life has been pretty darn extraordinary. But something has just been missing.  My self reflection time has been taking a back seat as I focus on Boston training and checking things off my everyday lists.  My journals have been collecting a bit of dust as they sit on the shelf untouched.  And with this has come a very tangible DISCONNECT in my life that has dulled my inspiration and taken away just a bit of the color that makes my heart sing.  

But this morning, I took advantage of a peaceful house and the sunshine streaming in my windows and I found a perfect place on my rug with my coffee, a pen and my journal to regroup and connect with myself.  As many of you know, my journals (even my running journal) are my greatest tool for connecting with myself and living a goal driven life of gratitude and clarity.  My time in my journals is KEY for me to be the best Amanda!  This journal time left me feeling inspired, energized and deeply grounded.  The whole day took on a new angle for me and life around me just seemed to be "unblurred".  Clarity. Color.  

 Some things I reflected on today:

• Motherhood.  It is so easy to get caught up in the busy parts and lose the magic parts. Errands, appointments, homework, messes, chores, teaching manners and social skills, etc.  But overall, I think I've done a pretty good job at pulling myself into the PRESENT enough to take the mental pictures and SAVOR this time.  It goes too fast!  I'm proud of myself in this area.  
• Boston Training.  You know, I say that this marathon training takes a lot of time but really, I've been managing it all very well this time around.  I'm actually ENJOYING it greatly as of this week.  I do get tired and worn out with following a plan.  Some days I don't want to run but overall, things are FUN and I want to keep it that way.  A few weeks ago things started feeling like work and I felt discouraged but with a little mental shift, things became fun again.  I'm fitting in my runs AND still making time to be a solid mother and wife most days.  Other things have slowed down (blog for example) but I'm hitting the main targets.  
• Friendships...Another pretty solid thing in my life right now.  I've made a point to reach out and keep my friendships growing. I feel blessed with some really great women in my life that are so very wonderful.  A big thing for me right now is asking myself how I can be there for my friends and not being all about myself.  I still need to work on this so that I'm not just taking.  Even things a s simple as a note to tell them I love them.  There is one friendship in my life that continues to hurt me despite all the people that tell me to just let it go.  It is a friendship that has never been easy and one that always leaves me feeling UNIMPORTANT, misunderstood and used.  :(  I suppose that I need to listen to my husband and friends and just let this person go. I deserve better.  And so does she.  Our entire friendship as been a big ball of misunderstanding.  Some people just weren't meant to be friends.  And that's okay. No more self blame or defensiveness.  Friends will come and go.  

Some things I'm being conscious of and working on making REAL:

• Bringing ART and creativity back in to our home as much as it used to be!  This has involved buying a new art easel for the kids.  This has just screamed "CREATE" and the kids are all about using chalk, paint, markers and more.  This makes me smile.

• READING.  This one is for myself and my kids. I've kind of slowed down with my reading life and also with how much I was reading to my kids.  The past few weeks we've read a novel a week as read aloud at night and the girls are loving it.  Our current read is George's Marvelous Medicine by Roald Dahl.  We'll have this one read in two nights. I'm also reading a novel right now...imagine that!  Not a lot of time to read these days with fitting in the miles but I've been enjoying it.  And I'm modeling reading for my kids...I like this.  Growing READERS HERE!  Realistically though, there are not many times during the day (or any really) that I have time to sit down and read for myself.  So that usually comes at the end of the day and then I'm often too tired.  
• JOURNALING, REFLECTING, WRITING FOR ME!  And Sharing With YOU TOO. I really want to get back to where my blog started.  So much of it was just me sharing my reflections and most personal parts of my life with others.  Yes, running was a part of it too but not just running.  It is the vulnerable, reflective, raw Amanda that I see so much of a year ago and I miss her.  I need this!  Not so much the sharing part but the reflecting part.  

I'm off this weekend for a women's retreat with a bunch of women I don't really know.  Should be a very rich experience and I'm anticipating a lot of time to reconnect with myself as well as make some new friends.  I'm excited.  

My Threshold workout today:

10 miles @ 7:36 avg (not a true 7:36 avg since I stopped for a few minutes after 4 miles and before tempo part to turn on a 27 minute show for my kiddos so that I could finish my run)

4 miles @8:27-8:34 pace

1 mile 6:59

1 mile 6:54

1 mile 6:54

.5 @ 6:44

.5 @ 6:27

2 miles to finish with last mile @ 7:14.  

Feeling Strong!

Happy Friday!  

Amanda

Audience of One

Thankful for this book.  

For Today.

To write for just ME,

Unguarded, 

Honest,

Raw.

Prayerfully,

Vulnerable and Intimate.

A letter to just myself,

goals for only my eyes,

stories of my children,

tracings of their hands.

Feelings that are not meant to share.

Prayers of gratitude,

for things deep within myself and meant just for me.

To Grow. To Reflect. To Reread.  To Enjoy.

Writing just for Me, audience of one.

As I approach the one-year mark for Runninghood, it is pretty neat to look back over my journal entries, blog posts and pictures to see all that has happened in a year.  I've grown and learned tremendously...as a runner, mother, wife, friend, self...you name it!  I've improved. Challenged myself.  Shared my spirit.  Been inspired. Set a million-and-one goals and held myself accountable, with you.  Blogging has been so rewarding and enriching....and Validating!  Sharing my journals, reflections, goals, motherhood moments, fears, and random ramblings has been like talking to good friends.  At times it has been scary to put my heart out there so much...to write about things that are so personal...a vulnerable feeling.  But again and again, I am overwhelmed by the amazing responses that make me feel heard, understood, and appreciated.  Many many good things have come from blogging.  So many more good and beautiful benefits and opportunities than not.  In reflecting this morning, I realize that the only thing I do miss about pre-blogging days was the time I spent with just myself...writing for just me...the deep kind...the kind of writing that knows that there will be nobody reading except for me.  My quality writing time for, and with just ME has faded drastically and with this, I've lost touch with a parts of myself.  The deepest parts.  Writing in my personal journal this morning after a couple of months felt kind of like chatting with a friend rather than being on the deepest level with MYSELF.  I felt a little distant, awkward even.  Reminds me of how easy it is to get wrapped up in writing for an audience...even writing about writing in a journal...but then forgetting to really enjoy the process of "journaling to journal" and be with myself and God and not just journal with "sharing" in mind.  Anyway, it was nice to come to this realization today.  Nice to be back "Home" with my writing.  Nice to have it just for me.  

Happy Wednesday!  

Amanda