What's in a blog? Some of us write for fun. Some write to log their miles and share their training for something. There are blogs about cooking, travel, sewing...there's a blog about everything. You name it, I bet it's there. Many of us start a blog to share and express what we are most passionate about. Our blogs give us a voice. A connection to others with similar interests. We learn from blogs...reading them and writing them. And many of us grow in the process of keeping one.
I originally started my blog in 2010 after a very serious hamstring injury that left me pretty depressed and facing a crossroads in my life. I wanted more. I needed more. I was new to being a stay at home mom and without running in my life, I was missing my career. I was missing a piece of me and an opportunity to express myself and use my mind on a deeper level than just telling kids to "use their words" or setting up sticker charts and teaching them to use the potty without peeing all over the floor. All good work. Work that lasts a lifetime when it comes to building a strong foundation for my family. But it was work that left me feeling so under stimulated in the intellectual and personal areas. I needed something else...a piece of me. So, at the suggestion of a friend, I started writing a blog. Since then, my blog has been a personal journey where I find safety in sharing my heart, goals, snippets of life that touch me and so much more. And most importantly, writing my blog has given me an opportunity to GROW so deeply as Amanda. Amanda the runner. Amanda the wife, mother and friend. And probably, most of all, I've been able to work through some of the grief I'd held on to regarding the death of my father and the spiritual/religious struggles that have impacted me so deeply. This blog has certainly been an important part of me where I can be real and vulnerable. I can be whatever I am at the moment I am writing. Because of this freedom to express myself as I come, I've made some pretty special connections with some of you. I've received e-mails from people expressing similar feelings to the feelings I share and thanking me for sharing myself. This is great validation in the freedom that comes (for me) with being real and sharing my heart.....
So, why stop now? I surely think there is time for quiet and keeping things to ourselves and this has been so much of my life lately. I don't share everything going on in my heart. Especially on a blog. But if I'm going to keep this blog up, I might as well keep being as REAL as I can....it's what Runninghood is.
What I do know right now is that I'm dealing with some things in my heart and my head that have left me feeling pretty heavy. My heart hurts. My head is heavy with a barrel full of questions. I feel a little cloudy when it comes to what is REAL and what is FAKE. What is a lie and what is truth. I feel just a little lost. But you know, I'm certain that after dealing with some of these current issues that have come up recently, I am going to come out of thisSO
Life ALWAYS works this way. Always. With every heartbreak comes a new layer of wisdom. With every painful moment in life where we are knocked down and lose ourselves, we have the CHOICE to pick ourselves back up and make ourselves BETTER and healthier. Find us. It's what gives us drive to conquer new goals and reach for the things we might have thought were unattainable or that we weren't strong enough for. Because of this, the things hurting me now (and for awhile now), give me HOPE. As much as I feel awful, I also have an equal amount of warmth wrapped around me that makes me so sincerely excited for what's to come. I know that whatever is going on with me right now means that the road ahead is going to be a good one...I know this. Resilience. It's what makes the human psyche so interesting. So much greatness can come from struggle. So MUCH.
So, here's to the struggles in life as well as the good times. Here's to the LOWS to go with the HIGHS. Here's to the wisdom, strength and life hunger that comes from painful circumstances. Here's to the soulful laughter that will replace the cries of disappointment and loss. Here's to the friendships that will be deepened because of saying farewell to the relationships that were no good for us. And here's to the EVERYTHING that will come from doing what it takes to heal and have a better tomorrow....for myself, my children, and those that I truly LOVE. For what's REAL. I'm excited to see what the next few months of climbing up will hold for Life. Truly excited. Hopeful. And this brings me peace.
What lies behind you and what lies in front of you,
pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
Christopher Robin to Pooh (by A. A. Milne)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
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Note: I still haven't been able to connect with the winner of the Endorphin Warrior Bracelet so I will be choosing a new winner sometime this week. You can also check out my friend Tayarra's giveaway for another really good chance to win.