Note: I originally posted this hours ago: If I Knew Then... but then took it off, posted it again, took it off, posted again and then finally took it off. I guess I just felt silly, dramatic and vulnerable in a way. Sharing something about my hurt hamstring, something so important to me but something that probably seems so small to others, made me feel embarrassed or protective over my feelings. But then my friend Jenn, from Running Sane e-mailed and asked me about it and she really seemed to understand. I figure, if the post resonated with her then I'm sure there are others out there that will be able to relate to it too. I guess part of a good blog is writing raw and being real...saying the things from my heart and not just the things that will make the masses happy. At least that is what I want my blog to be. So, here's my post back with a few things taken out. This is important to me and however small it seems to be so concerned over a hurt hamstring, it is something that scares me and had me worrying a lot last night (this topic of injury, feeling fearful at the idea of not ever really having my hamstring back again, and feeling like I only have so much time to reach my goals is a post for another day).
Amanda
I love the real Amanda! The one that is willing to share her vulnerability, the one that opens up and pours her heart out on a page:) Off to reread the post:)
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteI saw the original and wondered why you took it down. I should have commented initially, because I hate when I second guess myself on a post.
I totally get what you are saying. No, it's not the end of the world and injuries like ours are nothing compared to what others go through in life, but it's still painful.
My injuries kept me sidelined for 16 months - 16 months of being scared that I might not only never run again but that I might have pain just in simple walking for the rest of my life. It was a scary feeling. I GET YOU!
...and I'm hoping the best for your injury! Take care of it!
You need never apologize or rationalize or defend your feelings. I fervently hope we can all be worthy of being allowed to hear your difficult parts :)
ReplyDeleteI fully understand the part of being vulnerable and exposed. I very much appreciate your honesty and integrity and sensitivity.
Love to you :)
I say post what you want to post. People can choose to ignore it if they want. Some people have much bigger problems, they can remove your blog from their list. Others have much smaller problems and may benefit from your post and avoid injury. Blog for you, your audience will adapt IMHO.
ReplyDeleteThank you guys! So thankful!
ReplyDelete*hugs* Way to put yourself out there :)
ReplyDeleteI have a much longer comment on the other post (eventually), but I wanted to say that being injured is not a small thing! No, it's not life or death, but it has a huge impact on your life and on things that are important to you--are part of you. Hugs...it's hard to feel sooo ready and have your body whispering maybe not.... Be patient with yourself!
ReplyDeleteI didn't see the other post Amanda, but you should never shy away from your feelings. If it was about being injured and scared it is a big deal. While I might not win any big races running is part of my everyday life. It makes me a better mama, person, wife and without it I go a little CRAZY. I have not been able to log big miles in about a month at this point and yesterday I burst out into tears. A snapped hamstring is a huge deal (my husband did it at football practice running a drill this year). I am sending you a big hug and good thoughts and hoping that you will not feel the need to take down a post again:) xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks for this one. I've had this feeling many times - unsure of whether I should have posted something, vulnerable for putting myself out there... I really appreciate your honesty (in the original post as well as this one).
ReplyDeleteJust remember this is YOUR space to say what you want! Hopefully everyone is supportive of that! I think it's great that you are able to be vulnerable and honest on your blog.
ReplyDeleteBe who you are, say what you feel! All of us who follow you choose to follow you because we want to hear what you say. Some days are filled with joy others are pain and we reach out to others from the words on the page. Let us read and lift you up when you need it!
ReplyDeleteNo worries on being behind on my blog! You've got three kids, a hubby and a life! I understand. Glad I'm still one of your favorites though!! :) What's that book about? I am hoping to be able to find Born to Run at the airport or something. We'll see!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this post. I really hope your leg feels better. I think this is such a good reminder to appreciate and respect our bodies.
ReplyDeleteamanda I am in your same boat. Its those little things that get to us because they are repetitive. We're here to support and encourage. You can vent anyday! Its your blog. BIG HUG!
ReplyDeleteLC
I think we have all been in your position before and can relate to how you're feeling! You should never have even hesitated to post the original post. It is what is going on with you right now and there is nothing shameful about that. I'm sorry you're dealing with an injury right now, but resting and being patient is definitely the right move!
ReplyDeleteI'm sending lots of healing vibes your way!
this is your blog, post what you are feeling! :) we wouldn't be here reading it if we didn't want to! i hope you are feeling better and i want to know about the attempt at stopping your rolling car?!?!?!
ReplyDelete