Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Processing from an Introverted Extrovert

I'm a people person.  Outgoing, social, energetic.  I like to see friends and I'm usually not shy anymore when it comes to speaking my mind and being myself. I like to share my heart and tell you exactly what my story is without hiding things and most people who I love would tell you this is true.  I value people who I feel safe enough with to do so.  Many would consider me to be hyper and full of energy.  Always going.  I smile a lot.  I love to connect with people beyond the surface.  I crave REAL and vulnerable.  I hate fake....especially when I find myself being fake. I guess most of the time I'm pretty extroverted.  However, I'm starting to learn more and more about myself the past few days and I guess I never realized just how much of an introvert side that I have.  It's almost like I NEED a certain amount of time with just myself in order to be the full Amanda around others.  I need time to PROCESS things and be alone with my mind.  I need time to put my feelings into words.  I need time. More time than I ever knew. With just ME.

Currently I'm on family vacation in beautiful Sun River, Oregon.  We are here with cousins, aunts, uncles and Grandparents.  The sky is blue, mountains stunning, and temperatures just about PERFECT.  There is an endless amount of activities to do including bike riding, canoeing, swimming, and horseback riding.  Not to mention the magical moments that come from having a big house nights, family dinners, watching the Olympics, cousin bonding....just BEING TOGETHER.  So much Richness.

Bike riding with Papa

Cross Training can come in MANY forms.  My tempoish run will have to wait the meantime, YEEHAW!

Directly before this trip I had the opportunity to travel to Boston to spend 3 nights with some very dear girlfriends that have come to hold a pretty special place in my heart. Two very unexpected friendships. Gifts in the highest sense.  We had a weekend of catching up, sharing our life stories, and listening/learning about one another.  We were making up for all the time we've spent just having a relationship through e-mail/phone/text.  It was such a special weekend. I can't possibly do it justice through words here but it is a trip that will forever stay etched in my heart/life story.  It was also a very emotional trip for me.  Taking a red eye flight there and then staying up quite late and getting lost in conversation that went so far beyond the surface of what I usually talk about with friends, meant one tired ME.  I returned home a bundle of emotions, thoughts and FEELINGS that I couldn't quite put into words.  I had so much that came to the surface.  So much to process and such a heavy heart in saying farewell even though I knew I would still have communication.  It was just too short.

Life long friends can come in the most unexpected ways.  Love these girls.  

After 16 hours of travel home (and 15 hours of processing it all), I came directly to my family vacation where everyone was already waiting for me.  So, forget about catching up on sleep or trying to fit in workouts.  This girl needs to catch up on some ALONE TIME so that I can be fully present with my family tonight.  And the rest of the week.  Especially since tomorrow is my 9 year anniversary with this amazing man:


And here I am, at least 2 hours to myself.  An empty house with nobody here but the dog, my pandora tunes, the sunshine streaming through the window, and time.  Time for me to process.  It took having a sore back and throat to opt out of the family bike ride to the pool but I know that they will return to a MUCH MORE CENTERED Amanda.  An Amanda with more "Chi":

Excited to read this book.  Thanks for the loan AM.  I think it will be good for me.  
Some random things:

  • You should check out the new t-shirts from the Another Mother Runner store.  I love how they asked a group of real running mamas to model their shirts.  It was a fun morning.  I think one of my favorites was this orange/red "high-mileage mom" shirt.  I don't really consider myself a high mileage mom compared to say my friends I went to visit in Boston...Ha!  But I'm higher mileage than I used to be...and favorite part about this is that it really makes me think of all the miles I get in during the day just from running around after my kids!  That's the real high mileage...yes?!  :)  

  • My training is just now picking back up again after my July 4th marathon.  My coach has felt very strongly that I needed to take some down time so that my body can fully recharge.  I agree with him.  The one week that I pushed too hard, I was sick for 5 days so now I'm just trying to really make sure I'm listening to my body and taking care of myself so my immune system can be strong and I can stay HEALTHY for Hood to Coast Team After Nuun Delight!  
  • Today's workout is supposed to be 6 miles with 2 miles easy, 3 miles in 22:15, and 1 mile easy.  I might push it to tomorrow since my throat kind of hurts and my back feels all messed up from something.  
  • We might have a big move coming up in the next year...not really ready to announce where it will most likely be just yet since we still need to visit so that we know if we want to take the leap.  We are just wanting a new adventure.  And if it works out for my husband's job, and our kids are up for it, we figure that now is as good of a time as any.  
  • I think change can be really good. I also am a creature of habit and like my routine and comforts.  
  • I feel a pretty strong vibe to make some big changes in my life right now and I know that they are for the right reasons.  I'm in a different place with life, myself, my career, and so many other areas than I was even a year ago.  I'm ready for a fresh "Something".  We all are...this is a good feeling.  Exciting really.  
  • As soon as I get 100% healthy (This will for sure require getting better SLEEP), I am going to wrap my head around some new running goals.  I think I'm ready to set my sights on something to train for again.  For now, it is all about getting these legs ready for some faster Hood To Coast Running.  
  • My husband is participating in the Cascade Lake Relays this weekend.  He's so excited.  I love sharing the love of running/fitness with my best friend/partner for life.  Anyone else doing this relay?  
Ahhh, even if NOBODY reads this post, it was so cathartic for me to have the time to just be alone and write something to help me clear my head.  Writing is such a HUGE part of my processing...even if it is bad writing...just putting it all out there feels so good.  

Happy Wednesday,


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  1. Oh I so get it. I can chat, charge and hang with people pretty easily, but be warned if I don't get my alone time. This mama gets uber crabby. I relish and truly recharge in spending time with the craziest company in the world - myself :)

  2. I checked out the "another mother runner" store. Great pictures, and it's very cool that they used local runners. Great shirts, too!

  3. I was able to see the introvert and the extrovert this weekend! SO FUN to spend time with you. That picture in the orange/red shirt is so YOU, full of life and excitement! Love the shirt, btw. Really hard to describe in words how special this weekend was for me. And I am right with you on the processing and glad you had some time to do so. Sore throat sisters I suppose:) Much more to say, much more to say....must do this again soon:)

  4. I totally get it. On Meyers Briggs, I am an INFP, and one of their traits is being good with crowds (teachers, preachers, performers) while still getting mojo from alone time. I love people, chatting, being out there, but I need to be alone, too.

  5. I just did the MB and I am an ESTJ. I hear you on loving being with other people but needing the quiet time! I also LOVE the run like a mother ladies and have two of their shirts (maybe it's time to add more) and have bought and passed those books around A LOT! I hope you have a wonderful time with your family and enjoy the peace when you can find it!

  6. Your posts are always so beautiful. You are very well spoken. So nice that you were able to meet up with those girlfriends and no induldge in the family vacation. We just got back from ours and it is always so amazing to see the cousins pick up like it was yesterday that they saw each other last. That is awesome too that you are so intune with yourself and your needs to make you the BEST you, you can be. SUPER AMANDA!!!

  7. It's like a breath of fresh air reading here tonight. I have been wondering how you were doing with back to back vacations.

    Look at you and the little man lassoing that set of horns! YEE-haw!! Surely it was a special time there with you three. I am a person who needs alone time as well- and I like to be out in new places. Big crowds are cool too, with a friend.

    Hope you didn't get sick from that one running Forest park. I had wondered if it was too much too soon. I can hardly wait to see what you will be training for next :)

    Enjoy the rest of your family trip!

  8. First-Happy Anniversary!!!! Yes, Waylon is an amazing man which was easy to see this weekend through you. He is most obviously a very very lucky man as well:) Really a perfect match!

    From the bottom this time! First, this isn't "bad" writing. This is some of your best writing. You are so excellent at expressing your feelings in words. Really easy to read and to "feel" and really understand...I think your first paragraph was so well written.

    I love you in that orange shirt! Exactly the picture of you I have in my head:) Cool opportunity!

    Sleep is a crazy thing. I got none of it over the weekend and although I was functioning, it definitely affects me in so many ways. Hours that I seem to have "lost" in terms of memory. Fuzzy. What I DO remember was pretty special. So thankful for the opportunity. Loved seeing you out of your writing or phone voice and just being able to have that time with you. In some ways I relate to you so much more even now that I see you in a bit of a different light. As we've chatted, I totally understand the introvert/extrovert.

    Kinda wanted to post on my FB that I went running with "Runninghood" to see how many of my personal FB running friends know you by this personality-ha ha! I might just do that. Fun to have that chance to run with you as well although this is one of the "fuzzy" things about my trip-ha!

    OK-covered much in email. Love you dearly. Sounds as if your family vacation is going super! As you get home and completely rested I am really so excited to see where running will take you. I loved seeing you on Friday when you came back from your run. Such a solid yet easy effort and your confidence building on top of your ability. The right coach (which you have), the right training, and I will ALWAYS stick by my belief that you have not even begun to open doors with your potential here.

    Love you! So much going on in your life! You have a hubby and kids that support you. How awesome to open a new chapter and try something new with the move! The awesomeness about email is that I won't have to miss you wherever you go:) XOXO

  9. This is so funny as my wife was trying to convince me the other day that she is an extroverted introvert :)

  10. I am thrilled that you had a wonderful weekend in Boston. I know how excited you were to go. What a great memory to have and hopefully there will be more weekend getaways with them.

    I love SR, it was always my favorite place to vacation with my parents. Bend is so much fun. You will have to go to that Drive in hamburger place--I totally forgot the name, but it is amazing. My friend also owns 10 Barrel Brewing so you can go check that out too!

    I LOVE that picture of you- You are a high mileage mom!

  11. I agree with you that I need time alone to recenter myself! I have been visiting my parents for the past month and while it is fabulous to bless them and be here with my daughter, I still crave that time alone to recenter myself...especially with #2 quickly approaching!! I'm so glad you've been able to reconnect with your friends in Boston and now with your family!! I saw you on the Another Mother Runner cute! I love it!!!

  12. I know what you mean about ME time! Sometimes you just need a break from the ON position! I hope that you got what you needed yesterday!

  13. Why do I get so damn emotional when I read your posts. It's not like I'm PMSing either. Dang it! I'm so glad you had this special time with your girls! I couldn't believe you said you weren't a high mileage mom. I was just sitting here thinking about the miles I put in and talking to Sarah (Glynn) about them. Not a lot. It's not going to get me to college times, but I don't care. That's what I say anyway, I don't care. For now. I don't want this to become my #1 priority right now. 5k's are enough until I can go further and longer and dedicate more time. Anyway, thanks for processing "out loud" it helps me process all the energy I have in me for change and do something and do it now feelings. Happy Anniversary to you guys. Happy family vacation! Happy ME time! I still want a group I can run with, connect with, and push with. I want my college girls : (!

  14. And.... I love that picture of you and the kids. and... I can't wait to hear more of what's coming in the future. Good luck with all of that! Keep those emotions coming consistently! Don't bottle up, girl!

  15. I love all your outfits - clearly the most important part ;) and I love the mom running shirts. cute! I think chi running sounds like an amazing read. I may need to treat myself to a Chapters visit as the last 4 books I;'ve borrowed from the library went back unfinished....I just don't have the time to sit down anymore....unless I'm bloggin ;)

  16. I love reading your posts! I have a very similar personality - I love being around people, not as shy as I used to be, but I need ALONE time to recharge. What a wonderful weekend you had! You were so close to where I am, CT!! :)
    And maybe you should make that big move to new England so we can run marathons:)
    I hope you have an amazing vacation, the energy and fun radiates through your writing, and happy anniversary to you!!

  17. That's why I love running - it's my down time and alone time. Things can get so crazy - even on a vacation. Summers were relaxing as a kid, but now they seem just as crazy as the rest of the year! Glad to see your taking advantage of some R&R.

  18. i love everything about this post, and i cannot wait to meet you in a few weeks for htc. i think you are a beautiful person amanda! enjoy your vacation and happy anniversary!!!

  19. Totally get it. I sometimes worry that I am too "hermit like" at times because I crave the alone time to just be.

    Side note: Working from home today, I was riddled with conference calls. So, for one of them, I threw it on mute and weeded. That quiet activity that is so therapeutic for me made the world of difference :)

  20. So awesome you got to meet them in the flesh!!!! And happy anniversary :)

  21. I know I'm an introvert but I'm quite comfortable in that role. I love time by myself to just think and be but I really enjoy time with others too. It's just about getting the balance right. And I hate fake!

  22. You look so cute in your new shirt and YES, I would definitely consider you a high mileage mom! :-)

  23. Those shirts are cute! I consider myself high mileage compared to when I just started running a measly 9 miles a week. I cap out at 120 miles per month during marathon training. So it's not alot to many, but it's alot to me!

  24. happy anniversary! good for you-for taking time to recharge and getting some ME time to “figure it all out” and process things. enjoy this time with your fam.

  25. Oh Amanda Amanda Amanda I love your posts. I love how you are out there being gutsy and honest and brave and just you. It's wonderful and inspiring. I love change and I love moving - a product of an itinerant childhood I think - so I can recognise that. And I say do it. Do it. It's an adventure and you shake things up when you move and it's good for all of you. Keep us posted when you're ready to share!

  26. Amanda, did you happen to run Hood to Coast in 2001 with a girl who had an allergic, face-swelling reaction after her first leg and you guys had to cover the rest of her legs for her? Yeah, that was me. ;) I've felt badly about that ever since. I saw you on the Run Like a Mother blog and thought, "Wait a second, she looks really familiar!" Glad to see you're rocking the running world as you are. I'm looking forward to following your blog now. And you'll be glad to know I'm finally getting back on the horse and running H2C again this year - leg 10. With Benadryl in the van this time, of course. ;)