Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Completely Random Crazy Mom Stream of Consciousness Bullet Style

It is what it is.  This post.  No fun title.  No theme.  No paragraph to suck my readers in (well, that doesn't happen often anyway).  My head is FULL.  So, this is my blog and I suppose I'm about to use it to take a big Mental Dump.  But maybe, just maybe you'll find one of my bulleted points to connect with. 

These Pure Flows just in!  The shoes that will do the honor of getting me from Hopkinson to Boylston.  

  • Mommy guilt is the WORST.  Nothing like sending your kid off to school directly after throwing a major adult hissy fit due to 6 year old dilly dallying and then only having 100 yards from the house to the corner to make her feel loved and believe that her mom is not really a crazy freak out of a meanie mom.  
  • I'm working on a post for Boston where I will include all the information you local Boston peeps and Boston Marathoner veterans have shared.  Places to eat, things to see, Boston Marathon tips and suggestions, what to pack, etc.  
  • Taper is weird.  
  • I'm emotional lately and overly sensitive but level headed and focused all at the same time.  This is all a good place to be I think.  
  • I'm feeling confident in the work I've done.
  • I'm ready to make a racing plan that involves pacing, fuel, etc.  However, I'm probably going to use this plan as a general backbone but still let my body tell me what is best on race day.  I don't believe in being too married to a pacing plan.  
  • I'm being realistic with my marathon goals.  Boston doesn't have to be the best racing time of my life.  I want to PR and know that I ran strong and confidently.  
  • I might be working with a coach for the first time since college.  This is exciting for me.  Exciting to think of just putting the thinking in someone else's hands and just being willing to follow the plan, trust, and work my butt off without second guessing my decisions with my plan.  Having someone to analyze my workouts and give me a plan tailored to me sounds awesome.  More on this later but I've been in contact with someone and I'm looking at a couple different options.  
  • Although I'm considering a coach, I really don't know what I want from running.  On one hand I want to just run for fun and make my main focus my kids, my writing and just my every day passions. But can I do this and seriously train for something at the same time?  I don't know. I will have to seriously reflect on this. Honestly training hard for a focused goal race or goals in running seems to take a bit away from my energy to give to other things.  This is for me personally.  If I'm completely honest with myself I would say that I'm not as attentive of a mom lately.  And my inspiration and creativity with other areas of my life is a little dulled compared to when I'm just running for fun.  But training in the summer would be a lot different.  Longer days, better weather, less Treadmill, more time with my kids, etc.  Just thinking out loud here and trying to decide what is best for me.  
  • I believe that we are meant to use our gifts in life. And I do think that one of my gifts is running.  I think that good things come when we are using our many good things. We energize ourselves, inspire others, and our life is usually richer for it. We only have one life to see what we are truly capable of.  And this body of ours is such an amazing thing.  It is capable of SO much.  And darn it feels good to have a goal and to challenge myself.  
  • Being present with my kids and creating a magical and memorable childhood for them is one of the most important things to me right now. They will only be this young once.  I have time ahead of me when they won't want anything to do with me and this would leave me with plenty of time to hit the road and run my heart out! Again, a personal reflection here.  Sometimes I struggle with my lack of energy and the fact that I often have so many other things on my mind (like running and races and goals) that I miss out on them. This doesn't have to be that way.  The first step is being aware of it so that I can be conscious of making my time with them count.  I know moms that work full time, train hard with running, but yet the time they have with their kids is focused, rich and attentive...more so than if they were home all day. And they are darn good parents! I know I'm doing a good job with this but I have to stay on top of it or I slip into a trap of the "Blahs" where I'm constantly "chasing the break" instead of savoring the time.  
  • I'm really excited about Boston but there are so many things to think about still so instead of thinking about them (arrangements for my kid when I'm gone, packing, hotel stuff, etc.) I'm writing a blog post while my kids watch a 20 minute show.  Winner!  Ha!
  • Ever since my Nuun HTC application video, I can't find my black lululemon tank anywhere!!  This is my staple.  Does this mean I'm supposed to go to lulu right now and get another one in a few different colors to make up for it??  Yes? Convince me so I can convince myself.   
  • Speaking of Nuun Hood To Coast, I really hope I get on the team.  Would be so fun. And an honor!  
  • Oh, still haven't nailed down a Boston Blogger meet up but I'm working on something for after the race on Monday but with time to hit the showers, take a rest, ice, eat, and make ourselves feel pretty.  :)  I've gotten e-mails from many of you about this so I'm working on it...just don't know the area. But it is on my agenda.  Miss Zippy (Amanda) had mentioned meeting at a McCormick and Schmick's directly after the race.  This might be fun just to go grab a Sam Adams, say hello and "cheers" and then head on our merry little ways.  Thoughts?  
  • Loving your comments on the Treadmill Contest.  They are funny, scary, and all-to-relatable.  
Okay, off to make some lunch, have some focused mommy time (maybe we'll make some Easter Eggs), and do some Amanda journaling time.  



  1. Nice Dump...did you remember to wipe? ;-)

    You are a good mom. You are a good runner. You are a wonderful person.

    So excited to see you rip Boston to shreds!

    A coach? cool!

  2. I HATE it when I have a fit before dropping my kids off. Puts a damper on the whole day.

    And,yes, you do have the gift of running and running fast. Glad you are using it!!!

  3. Amazing how you keep this all balanced - maybe the occasional dump is the trick. :)

  4. Love the Bullets! Wish I was close to Boston just to cheer you on and join in the meet up:) Aren't kids the greatest?!?!!!!

  5. I absolutely admire how open and relatable you are Amanda. I can relate to this post is so so many ways. I definitely go through the same battles with running. Should I get more serious and actually compete or should I just keep running for fun and enjoyment? Something I am hoping to figure out someday.

    I am very very much looking forward to your Boston tips & tricks and I am definitely up for a blogger meet up so keep me posted okay.

  6. Can I get an Amen ? :). Seriously totally relate to pretty much your whole dump! It has been so hard lately because I feel out of balance. Running and all that comes with it is taking up too much of my life so what to do? I almost feel like getting a coach might help me find better balance. And then there are other days where I wonder what my end goal is with all of this. Anyway, it is nice to know that I am not alone :)

    1. you ARE NOT alone. We've talked about this before Steph and these are such good questions to ask ourselves...what is our end goal? And do we really want to give this much time to this? And would a coach help find better balance? Allow us to still follow our passions and run our hearts out but not have so much of the thinking work. Just run and be our best selves and have someone tell us what the plan is. I think I'm liking this. Life with running is surely wonderful.

  7. Amanda - remember one thing please: breathe. :)

    1. ha ha, you made me smile here. :) Yes, so right. YOu've nailed it with me. :)

  8. I totally understand the mean mommy thing. Why is it that words I don't mean just spew from my mouth??? Good thing that our kids love us unconditionally!
    Will you be posting your Boston bib number? I would love to follow you that day!

    1. I wasn't going to post it but I will post post it here perhaps when I look it up. I saw it once but had planned on just looking it up again on my way there.

  9. i feel like your thoughts are a lot like mine, spuratic and all over the place...and i love it! taper really messes with me too, and i think that i get overly sensitive when i don't spend as much time pounding out my stressors.

    working with a coach sounds really exciting and fun, hope it works out for you!

  10. Hey- I know that particular Monday plan would tie in very well with what I have going on. :-)
    It will be awesome to meet you fun amazinf runner/bloggers!

  11. You do have a gift, use it!!! Not sure I could live with a coach myself, though. I've never had one, and my running group coach gets ignored 99% of the time. He tries to give me advice, but I'm hard headed. And I only show up to 1/4 of the workouts ;-) Worst "student" ever!

  12. I have the same goal with Boston, being realistic. I want to PR but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. First and foremost, I want to have FUN!

  13. oh the mommy guilt....I dont know one decent mother who does not have a case of mommy guilt from time to time. I have it. I have acted like a toddler before. we are humans. you are a good person and from reading your blog I KNOW how good of a mom you are and how much you care about being a good and PRESENT mom.

    Boston...well you did all you could. you are ready. believe it.

  14. Love the Monday after the race idea! Keep me posted.
    We all need a good DUMP now and then! :) Blogs are our place to keep it real.

  15. AH! So many things going on right now to have to tie up- and an important race to boot! That's the thing about a travel race, I think.

    I am most excited about the potential coach part for you. I think you would just THRIVE off of the right coach. Hoping your Alberto is waiting for you, and ready to take on an incredibly talented and motivated girl!

    Yes- running is truly a gift. So is parenthood. You do so well at pulling both together. Thanks for setting such a high standard for the rest of us :)

    Shooting you an email.

  16. Wow. I feel like I just wrote a post and somehow transferred it to you. This is so much of what I have been going through lately. I really want to start working with a coach--feel I have potential that I just can't tap by my lonesome--but I don't want to give time to running that could be spent cultivating relationships, helping people, making a difference, etc. I have lately just felt more of a go-ahead from God that running is something I'm gifted in, get so much joy from, and He will use it in some way! But it's kind of a daily struggle, honestly.

    Also, PLEASE post the Boston recommendations soon! I'd really love to see anything you have to say, since it's my first time. :)


  17. Huh?? LOL Tapering has some weird mental effects, don't it? From my "professional" perspective (as if you asked for it!!) the fact that you mention your kids a ton in this post, you must be a heckuva mom!

    I'm so bummed I can't do Boston this year to meet my online peeps. But you kids do something fun:)

  18. I had a long bike ride today, with hill climbs and wind. And I was miserable. So I thought about you...hee, hee. Just thinking it's been fun reading your blogs as you get ready for Boston. I'm so excited for you. And I can only imagine how hard it is with the tapering and waiting. But I really appreciated today's blog. Because the mommy guilt. Man I have it bad today. And I feel guilty that I can dedicate 2 hours to a bike ride and then I end up feeling overwhelmed when the kids get home after school with house cleaning, fixing dinner, helping homework, and blah blah blah. Then I think... perhaps if I hadn't gone for a 2 hour ride, I wouldn't be so overwhelmed. If it's not running (triathlons) then I'm sure I'd replace my whatever-ness with scrapbooking or sewing or something else. But my mommy guilt went away for a moment when my son asked for 4ths of broccoli at dinner.

    Sending calm wishes your way!

  19. ditto what you and steph said..running takes so much...but i'm hoping that training for 5k/10K and halfs will take less??? I have so much going on too that I worry I miss out on my is hard.

  20. Love this! Random Crazy mom streams are my favorites!

    Yes, one of your gifts is most definitely running!!! Along with teaching, writing, being a loving supportive encouraging friend, and the list goes on!!

    You are on my mind constantly as I often mention these days:) I'm so happy to see you say your feeling confident as you SHOULD be!!

    So excited to hear how the potential coach situation turns out!!!! Yes, you do what is right for YOU! I'm relating to many of your thoughts here:) OK-going to shoot you a quick email:) XO

  21. I don't think your outburst is just a "mommy thing." I occasionally do that with my students. If I've been teaching something for a long time, and they *still* don't get it, I'll occasionally have an outburt. Haha. Your kids know you love them. No worries!

    I'm glad I'm not the only one that is an emotional wreck during the taper. Before my last marathon, I did a 5K the weekend before and had a complete tantrum/meltdown afterwards. Pretty ridiculous and comical looking back. I think it's lack of endorphins. We are so used to them when putting in the mileage...

  22. Awesome shoes! I've heard a lot of good things about the pure flows. I have some new shoes coming in the mail today and I feel like a kid at Christmas!

    Good luck on your last minute prep for Boston. So excited for you!

  23. YES, go to lulu! Get a few new tanks. Great post. You will do wonderful in Boston. I can't wait to hear all about it. You've trained so well and are a force to be reckoned with!

  24. I love your stream of consciousness! I so wish I had the pleasure of meeting you on April 16th. I won't be there in person as planned, but I will be there in spirit cheering you on!!

  25. Yeah I don't like having a really strict race plan, I like to listen to my body and mind on race day!! Don't get me wrong, it's great to have a goal/idea of what you'd like to do, but we all know that so much can happen on race day and it's helpful to have some flexibility :)

  26. On the coach thing. I am really happy with working with The Coach. It takes hell lot of thinking out of my training. Though you need to kind of let the coach in your head and you definitely need to "click" on personal note. Good luck with finding the right one! And of course, good luck in Boston!

  27. Thank you! I say do it, definitely! Flowers are such a common sticker that you should have no problem finding a set that will work for you. Just make sure you don't get gems like I did. ;) I would love to see the finished mani if you decide to do it! It seems like such a cool idea.
    bullet stickers