Completely Random Crazy Mom Stream of Consciousness Bullet Style

It is what it is.  This post.  No fun title.  No theme.  No paragraph to suck my readers in (well, that doesn't happen often anyway).  My head is FULL.  So, this is my blog and I suppose I'm about to use it to take a big Mental Dump.  But maybe, just maybe you'll find one of my bulleted points to connect with. 

These Pure Flows just in!  The shoes that will do the honor of getting me from Hopkinson to Boylston.  

• Mommy guilt is the WORST.  Nothing like sending your kid off to school directly after throwing a major adult hissy fit due to 6 year old dilly dallying and then only having 100 yards from the house to the corner to make her feel loved and believe that her mom is not really a crazy freak out of a meanie mom.  
• I'm working on a post for Boston where I will include all the information you local Boston peeps and Boston Marathoner veterans have shared.  Places to eat, things to see, Boston Marathon tips and suggestions, what to pack, etc.  
• Taper is weird.  
• I'm emotional lately and overly sensitive but level headed and focused all at the same time.  This is all a good place to be I think.  
• I'm feeling confident in the work I've done.
• I'm ready to make a racing plan that involves pacing, fuel, etc.  However, I'm probably going to use this plan as a general backbone but still let my body tell me what is best on race day.  I don't believe in being too married to a pacing plan.  
• I'm being realistic with my marathon goals.  Boston doesn't have to be the best racing time of my life.  I want to PR and know that I ran strong and confidently.  
• I might be working with a coach for the first time since college.  This is exciting for me.  Exciting to think of just putting the thinking in someone else's hands and just being willing to follow the plan, trust, and work my butt off without second guessing my decisions with my plan.  Having someone to analyze my workouts and give me a plan tailored to me sounds awesome.  More on this later but I've been in contact with someone and I'm looking at a couple different options.  
• Although I'm considering a coach, I really don't know what I want from running.  On one hand I want to just run for fun and make my main focus my kids, my writing and just my every day passions. But can I do this and seriously train for something at the same time?  I don't know. I will have to seriously reflect on this. Honestly training hard for a focused goal race or goals in running seems to take a bit away from my energy to give to other things.  This is for me personally.  If I'm completely honest with myself I would say that I'm not as attentive of a mom lately.  And my inspiration and creativity with other areas of my life is a little dulled compared to when I'm just running for fun.  But training in the summer would be a lot different.  Longer days, better weather, less Treadmill, more time with my kids, etc.  Just thinking out loud here and trying to decide what is best for me.  
• I believe that we are meant to use our gifts in life. And I do think that one of my gifts is running.  I think that good things come when we are using our gifts...so many good things. We energize ourselves, inspire others, and our life is usually richer for it. We only have one life to see what we are truly capable of.  And this body of ours is such an amazing thing.  It is capable of SO much.  And darn it feels good to have a goal and to challenge myself.  
• Being present with my kids and creating a magical and memorable childhood for them is one of the most important things to me right now. They will only be this young once.  I have time ahead of me when they won't want anything to do with me and this would leave me with plenty of time to hit the road and run my heart out! Again, a personal reflection here.  Sometimes I struggle with my lack of energy and the fact that I often have so many other things on my mind (like running and races and goals) that I miss out on them. This doesn't have to be that way.  The first step is being aware of it so that I can be conscious of making my time with them count.  I know moms that work full time, train hard with running, but yet the time they have with their kids is focused, rich and attentive...more so than if they were home all day. And they are darn good parents! I know I'm doing a good job with this but I have to stay on top of it or I slip into a trap of the "Blahs" where I'm constantly "chasing the break" instead of savoring the time.  
• I'm really excited about Boston but there are so many things to think about still so instead of thinking about them (arrangements for my kid when I'm gone, packing, hotel stuff, etc.) I'm writing a blog post while my kids watch a 20 minute show.  Winner!  Ha!
• Ever since my Nuun HTC application video, I can't find my black lululemon tank anywhere!!  This is my staple.  Does this mean I'm supposed to go to lulu right now and get another one in a few different colors to make up for it??  Yes? Convince me so I can convince myself.   
• Speaking of Nuun Hood To Coast, I really hope I get on the team.  Would be so fun. And an honor!  
• Oh, still haven't nailed down a Boston Blogger meet up but I'm working on something for after the race on Monday but with time to hit the showers, take a rest, ice, eat, and make ourselves feel pretty.  :)  I've gotten e-mails from many of you about this so I'm working on it...just don't know the area. But it is on my agenda.  Miss Zippy (Amanda) had mentioned meeting at a McCormick and Schmick's directly after the race.  This might be fun just to go grab a Sam Adams, say hello and "cheers" and then head on our merry little ways.  Thoughts?  
• Loving your comments on the Treadmill Contest.  They are funny, scary, and all-to-relatable.  

Okay, off to make some lunch, have some focused mommy time (maybe we'll make some Easter Eggs), and do some Amanda journaling time.  

Amanda